I would like this thread to be a guide on how to communicate with women. I often see threads where the advice is "talk to her" but at times, it seems as if my husband is talking a different language that I do and his "talking to me" seems more like a visit to the psychiatrists office than an actual "equal partner" conversation. Please understand, this is not an attack on my husband, he is a good man, and I know that I need just as much help in the communications department as he does.
One thing that is important to me in a conversation with my husband when he needs to talk to me when I am not exhausted. If I am exhausted, I cannot think rationally. I cannot stay up night after night discussing what ever he wants to talk about that night until 4 am when the kids get up at 7:30 am. Maybe one night a week would be fine, but not repeatedly. To me, it is inconsiderate that my rest is not important to him.
I cannot communicate properly when it seems like I have been sent to the prinicpals office and that he is just there to discipline me, belittle me or my ideas, tell me that my opinions are wrong or that the things that I like are stupid. This can be exacerbated if I am exhausted because I can not think rationally when I am tired.
Sometimes it seems as if my husband is trying to please me so much that he will discount what I actually say because he over analyzes everything. Sometimes, things just are. I need him to listen to my answers and accept them.
I do not like it when the only time my husband tells me that he has a problem with me is when I have brought up something that he has done that has hurt my feelings. To me, that looks like a smoke screen.
These things may or may not apply to all women, I do not know because I am not all women. So take what you want and leave the rest, or "talk to her" about these things. You might be a suprised at what you will find out.