I assure you, many guys have the opposite question; They wonder why their ladies are so quiet!

As a guy I think it is because we are taught from birth that we must be strong and in control. To start moaning and such means that we're losing ourselves and losing "control" of the situation. In fact I think a lot of guys deep down just want to let go and completely give in to what their gf/wife are doing, but the subconscious won't let us do it because we instinctually equate weakness with being unmanly and inadequate.

Perhaps you should discuss this with your guy, and when he does actually let out a sound, make it very clear that you enjoy it and it makes you really hot. Praise him and give him positive feedback. That works on both sexes in a lot of situations.

Really it is a sad state of affairs, I truly believe both men and women suffer from such stereotyping, and wish the ideal manly man wasn't styled like Arnold Schwarzennegger in Terminator 2.

Actually I dont think I've ever made a sound. I make a face when I cum but rarely sounds other than heavy breathing if my g/f and I are really getting into it. I agree with Moose, I think its something within our subconscious that tells us to moan, or cry out in extacy is unmanly. I have trouble keeping my girlfriend quiet. I love it when shes loud but the parents dont feel the same haha. Just look at his facial expression, his muscle reactions. You can tell whether or not he's enjoying himself. I know when my g/f does something that feels amazing my abs and my arms tense up and i close my eyes. So she knows when shes on the right track.

Sweet,

You have described what happens between you and your partner(s). This is not the same for others. Each pair reacts in their own collective way.

i think my girlfriend realized i was enjoying myself last night when i closed my eyes... :)

I myself am very vocal (completely naturally). Don't get me wrong, I'm not always vocal, but in hightened times I moan, verbalize certain things, and breath very heavy.

And when I cum...boy am I loud. Ha! Oh, my lovers really like it--they get so turned on themself when I cum that they usually continue pleasing themself (sometimes to climax) as they watch me. At first I was a bit insecure about it, but now as I've matured, I don't mind at all. I mean, I'm louder than most women when I cum!

Men have a lot of macho-hangups about a lot of things. They need to learn to let go, relax, and let whatever happends come naturally.

you can try dirty talking a bit to open up the lines of communication

[QUOTE=Sweetness12]Ok, i told him I wanted for him to be more vocal.. we had sex, not a word other than 'I love you' out of it. bah. I dunno what to do.. i want to know if he's liking whats going on :mad:[/QUOTE]
Perhaps he doesn't understand your definition of 'vocal'?

I don't think it's reasonable to expect a complete shift in his behavior over just 1 session, but perhaps you should engage him on whether he likes the noises that *you* make, so you can use those as an example of what you want to hear from him.

Remember, letting go and letting noises like that out makes a guy feel vulnerable (which is a big NO-NO in this macho male culture we have) and he will probably need encouragement and lots of positive feedback if he does slowly start to make more noise.

[QUOTE]Remember, letting go and letting noises like that out makes a guy feel vulnerable (which is a big NO-NO in this macho male culture we have) and he will probably need encouragement and lots of positive feedback if he does slowly start to make more noise.[/QUOTE]

yeh, you never hear a guy moaning or something when he gets nailed by a linebacker in football or something...to compare this situation to others..

I don't think telling him you want him to be more vocal is the way to go about it. You have to do it in such a way as to not make him feel like he's doing something wrong.

Also, I ask that you consider the idea that he is who he is. There is a difference between asking your lover to do a certain physical act that you like, as opposed to telling them to be more vocal. One is technique and skill, the other is who they are. In all actuality, you really shouldn't want to ask these things--it would be like me asking my lover to fake an orgasm. You don't want to feel like the sounds coming out of his mouth aren't truthful and in the moment right? All people are different, and we all are unique in the way we deal with pleasure, stimulation, and ecstasy.

The above concerns itself with breathing and moaning more loudly--those are nearly systems we do not consciously control. If we are to take the other form of vocal into account, it is a different story, but in the same book. So now we have talking: expressing wants, dirty talk, playful banter, sexy sweet-nothings. You can tell a lover you like to express these things to each other during sex. If someone isn't a dirty talker...then they aren't a dirty talker, so don't force it. Some people think they aren’t dirty talkers until you get a few drink into them, and lead the way.

But again, you should not try to change anybody. Your lover is your lover--it is ok to express what you like to do and hear, but it's their prerogative whether they want to accept the baton or not.

i think that if any guy moans, its not because he made himself moan, but because his body ?made him? ( not sure if i worded that right)

This is my point. Everyone is different, and everyone is naturally vocal or not--so why would you want someone to do something that is unnatural to them? You're either with someone that is verbal and vocal, or you're not. You have to play with the cards delt you.

Because of living situations, my boyfriend and I have to shush each other, but when we are alone...we're both far too loud. Neighbours down the block would probably complain if they realized it was us. Moaning, screaming, whimpering...any sound you can make is usually made. The sound of him enjoying himself only turns me on more, and I often find myself reachign orgasm just from watching and listening to him.

My best friend complains that her husband doesn't make any sounds because he's self-consicous and he doesn't think it's right. It drives her nuts too.

My boyfriend does make sounds and it is SO FREAKIN' HOT. I brought out a tape recorder the first time I gave him head and it's the best he'd ever sounded to me.

If he isn't making enough sound for me while I'm doing something I'll tease him and tell him to ask for more, or moan for me if he wants me to continue. I'll make my technique better the more sounds he makes.