I've always though of myself as the 'typical' straight girl. I've had crushes on boys and currently have a fan-girl obsession with Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (mmm...salty goodness). However, I haven't really shown any interest in any of the boys at my school. I've tried to think about kissing a few of them, but it always feels weird.
Also, it seems like everyone thinks I'm a lesbian. My grandmother, my mother, etc. I have nothing against lesbians (if I did, I wouldn't be watching Buffy), but I don't understand why everyone thinks that I'm one. Actually, I'm not even sure if I'm NOT one. Sometimes I fantasize about kissing girls such as Alyson Hannigan, and I sort of enjoy it.
The trouble is, I don't know whether or not I'm a lesbian, because I don't think I'd feel comfortable with pleasuring a woman. To tell the truth, I feel that the vagina is a little gross, and I really don't want my face near someone else's.
So how can I tell if I'm straight, bi, or gay? Do I have to wait until I'm ready to have sex (I'm only 14), or is there a way that I can tell now?
The only way you're truly going to know is by doing it yourself. If you fiddle around with a girl, and you enjoy it, then perhaps you are a lesbian or at the very least bi. And if you also fiddle around with a boy and like it, then you know that you are bi.
If you only liked one experience and not the other then you are straight or gay.
I'm not trying to knock you or anything, but the problem with youth today is "gay" is "in" and so anytime they find someone attractive of the same sex, they automatically think they're gay or bi.. and well, it's not. I'm very much straight and there are women I find attractive. I never fantasize about them or anything, but I will admit they're attractive. But just because I find them attractive doesn't mean that I'm gay or bi. It just means I find them attractive. There's nothing wrong with that.
I believe that in order to figure out just what you are and what you want to classify yourself as, you have to try it out for yourself. (This of course doesn't apply to those that only find someone of the same sex attractive or someone of the opposite attractive. If you only find one attractive and only think about doing things with those people, then you pretty much know what you already are.)
"I'm not trying to knock you or anything, but the problem with youth today is "gay" is "in" and so anytime they find someone attractive of the same sex, they automatically think they're gay or bi.. and well, it's not. I'm very much straight and there are women I find attractive. I never fantasize about them or anything, but I will admit they're attractive. But just because I find them attractive doesn't mean that I'm gay or bi. It just means I find them attractive. There's nothing wrong with that."
I can't say that I've ever fantasized about some random attractive person I saw on the street aside from that... But I don't really see "gay" as being "in", although I have seen it in other people. My friend claimed she was bi (quite happily), and then told me a week later that it was against her religion.
But, personally, I'm just trying to figure out if I'm bi or not. I'm not trying to be gay or bi, I'm just confused.
Nontheless, I suppose I'll consider what you've said.
Thanks for your time.
:| Sure you're 14? Damn, I thought 14 year old's play with dollies, not think about sex and sexuality. Woah, teens are getting more and more faster each year it seems, that's pretty bad...
By the way, don't get mad and think I'm some old dude, I'm 16.
LoL
I know tons and tons of teenagers (at least online) that sit there and swear up and down they're either gay or bi because they find someone of the same sex attractive because now it's "cool" to be bi and gay. And these are the same people who have never tried anything with someone of the same sex. They just wanna say it cause it's "cool" to be that now. And it's ridiculous. They're trying to like make a fad out of it and it's quite bothersome. I have no problem whatsoever if you want to be bi or gay. I do however have a problem with those that say it to be cool and those that are doing it cause it's a trend now.
*flicks them all in the head*
/ranting
But anyways, it's normal to be confused at your age. Your teenage years are all about discovering yourself and it's generally when you start to find out what you do and do not like. However, as I said, I don't think you should classify yourself as anything (unless you only consider one sex to be attractive and/or *know* they're the only sex you'd consider doing anything with) until you've experienced it.
Yea watching any commercial of Girls Gone Wild shows its "cool" and "sexy" to make out w/ every chick you see lol.
The incidence of women with women is really unknown. Individual encounters are really quite common and many teen girls do have at least one sexual encounter with another girl. Between 14 and 20, most of us question our own sexuality and many women change their minds several times. That is part of growing.
During my life, I have lived exclusively straight for several years; I also lived exclusively lesbian for several years. I guess I have never really answered the question as my primary relationship is with another bi- woman. She is divorced and has a child; I was about to be married but death interfered. No one knows what would be if a couple incidents had been a little different. Relax and live; the answer will come to you.
holy crap. i'm in love with Spike. i don't blame you.
i really have no idea on this situation.. but if you find someone like Spike desirable, i don't think you could have a hunger for women.
yes. yes. salty goodness indeed..