i just started being intimate with this guy and he is great at pleasing me but he cant be pleased...he is kinda small and he said he has not had an orgasm in 3 yrs! (hes 23), not even by pleasing himself, but that was not becuz its small, he said its cuz hes allergic to latex(most condoms, he said the non-latex ones r very thick and not very stretchy so its uncomfy.)
he said hes taken viagra, but he doesnt like that it keeps a guy hard 4 wayy too long. he seems verrrrryyyy depressed and annoyed and upset about this.
what is there 4 him to do? what is there 4 me to do for him? he said he has asked a doctor what the problem is and he told him its probly psychological so he saw a therapist but that didnt do n e thing for him.
i also have another related question, is it good or wrong of me to tell him that i had a good time? i feel like im being selfish, but then again i feel like at least im letting him know hes good at what he can do, and what he cant, cant be changed ("God grant me the serenity....") (for now atleast maybe)
Sat, 05/24/2008 - 01:59
#1
how can i please him?
Okay, first off, how big are we talking?
Also, non latex condoms actually are thinner. The polyurathane trojan supras are not very stretchy, but they are thin, transmit heat and feeling.
Viagra simply makes a man hard. There is no reason for him to take it.
It is nice to tell him he did a good job. I mean maybe not say it that way, but little moans, and then a "wow that was amazing" or something would be great, and a ego boost
HE has a problem; not you. Do not assume responsibility for his satisfaction. Given the history you sketch here, there is not much you can do.
If he chooses to work on this with a therapist, your support is very important. If he is just avoiding the help he obviously needs, you are wasting your time.
I admire your desire to be helpful but some people want others to do all the adjusting. You cannot adjust his sexual satisfaction.
He also does not know what he is talking about in condoms. There are at least as many poly on the market as latex.
We are each responsible for our own orgasms. The only thing a partner can do is assist. So: HE has to face up to what is wrong on fix it. Not you! The only help you can give is, as Brandye said, support him during sexual therapy.
I ditto EEK & Brandye's thoughts here!!!
Does he do such a good job at pleasing you because because he has 'performance anxiety'? Meaning, is he so worried about making sure that you are having a good time that he can't focus on his own pleasure for fear of climaxing too soon.
Encourage him when it comes to things of sexual nature, but don't pressure anything.
I would not think so because she stated that he has not had an orgasm by masturbation in three years.
I recommend seeing a doctor and have some blood work done to see if there is anything wrong hormonally. Next, he needs to see a therapist who has the experience to help with this problem as others have stated.
My guess is that after three years of not having a climax, his sex drive is low or perhaps non-existent. If he had a normal sex drive and could not achieve an orgasm by whatever means in a couple of weeks, he'd be climbing the walls!