My man is 14 years older than me, we've never had sex and he hasn't had sex in over two years. He tells me that there was only one woman before who he could get an erection with because he "trained" himself to only be attracted to her, but they broke up. Two years later he's with me and no erection. He's likes my body and everything and we've done a lot of touching before, but I feel that he never gets hard. He's been very giving and knows I'm a virgin still trying to decide whether or not to have sex. I'd feel a whole lot better if I could please him in other ways. How can I give him an erection?
Sat, 05/01/2004 - 14:50
#1
How can I give him an erection?
Hi Poetic Skye. (love the name, by the way)
Your gentleman must have some self-control! That part of our anatomy usually isn't under conscious control. It seems to have a mind of its' own (admittedly a small mind that only has one thought and it more often than not gets us in trouble).
I agree with demonbuttercup in that this is something that HE must come to term with. He needs to let go of the ex and give himself permission to be aroused by someone else.
Sounds to me like you are doing all you can to make that happen. Just give it time, and DON'T be intimidated by the "art of seduction". Paying attention to him is usually all a man needs. Sexy underwear and "specialties" are just gravy...lol.
Good luck and let us know how things are going.
Hey thanx for the advice. After that day we spent together, he did tell me why he couldn't arise to the occassion, but I didn't ask and he didn't tell me about masturbation. We're not exactly at that point where were comfortable about talking about sex, I think mainly because I'm a virgin so he thinks I would freak out from anything he says. I doubt that he would be thinking of anyone else, but if it seems that way next time we see each other I will ask. But for the meantime, I might have him come over tonight and I planned on finding ways to excite him. So far, I've thought of answering the door in beautiful underwear that shows my nice curves, watching a movie or 2 with him and maybe a kiss with no touching, then every once in a while a little touch, then nibble on his ear, and throw my chest in his face or 'accidentally' fall in his lap because he likes it, lol. If it sounds funny, believe me i'm laughing too because I do not know the art of seduction or teasing, nor have I tried it. But any advice anyone here can give sure would help.
Hey thanx for the advice. After that day we spent together, he did tell me why he couldn't arise to the occassion, but I didn't ask and he didn't tell me about masturbation. We're not exactly at that point where were comfortable about talking about sex, I think mainly because I'm a virgin so he thinks I would freak out from anything he says. I doubt that he would be thinking of anyone else, but if it seems that way next time we see each other I will ask. But for the meantime, I might have him come over tonight and I planned on finding ways to excite him. So far, I've thought of answering the door in beautiful underwear that shows my nice curves, watching a movie or 2 with him and maybe a kiss with no touching, then every once in a while a little touch, then nibble on his ear, and throw my chest in his face or 'accidentally' fall in his lap because he likes it, lol. If it sounds funny, believe me i'm laughing too because I do not know the art of seduction or teasing, nor have I tried it. But anyone here can give sure would help.
hmm
well like i said it sounds like its something he needs to work out w/ himself. does he not mention it or anything?
you said he "trained" himself to only get turned on by his ex...which seems like a weird thing to do ..but anyways... he needs to deprogram himself.
i know from another post you are thinking about having sex w/ him but i would advise he definetly work through this problem first....otherwise ain't gonna be too much going on if you catch my drift.
is he able to get erections on his own? i mean when he masturbates what does he think of? his ex?
definetly questions that need to be worked out.
good luck
That's the problem, I was giving him a HJ while we were kissing and he still wasn't aroused. It's weird though because he was really into it, but he didn't feel hard.
i don't know.
to me it sounds like something he needs to work out w/ himself as far as the psychological aspect of getting an erection.
i mean if you guys are being intimate and he's not getting one then its on him not you.
my b/f gets one and sometimes im not even doing anything to give him one lol.
like ill just be getting ready to go to bed and ill change clothes in front of him and put on my PJs and climb into bed and he's got one...lol.
i think its that way for most guys. anything slightly sexual and they have one.
if you guys are making out or whatever just reach down and start rubbing his crotch through his clothes. if that doesn't give him one i don't know what will