Hi all
My Girlfriend has been having problems getting horny when we are together. She is able to masturbate and achieve orgasms, it is not that i am rushing things as i spend as much time as i can on her in foreplay, even during things like oral etc she says things like "i wish i was horny". Her body responds but it seams she is just unable to... I'm just wondering what could be a reason...or some help..anything really.
She could be a more intimite person so try some romantic stuff, or try talking dirty or whipping cream and stuff like that, talk to her and find out what she likes and stuff.
Has she given herself permission to enjoy sex?
If you're doing all you can, and seems like you are, then it may not be you but her. Talk to her about this 'permission' topic.
Hi again
Thanks for the replies, i did talk to her about it and it turns out that she is uncomfortable with her body around me. On the phone, alone etc she is able to but when we are together she is uncomfortable with her body.
This coupled with she tries really hard to get horny and has things on her mind at the time seam to...inhibit it.
Basically we are going to try in a different environment, with her leading th way (taking of clothes etc) so she is comfortable.
Anyway thankyou for the replies.
Try Body Worship.
Begin with her fully dressed and then slowly removing each piece with caresses, kisses etc, while saying OMG how Lovely! or similar. Show her your appreciation of her body. Voice your appreciation of her body. Tell her how glorious she feels, looks, smells. How incredible her skin is. Be super sensual! You get the idea?
YUP! what she said.
Please do an advanced search using my name and the key word: "unconditionally". Read my replies in the first two threads to pop up. You might ask her to read them also.
Hi again.
Ive taken docs advice and sent her some things to read (as well as reading them myself) and the idea of body worship is something i will try and have tried in conversations we have had.
Basically at this point i just want her comfortable with her body and letting herself feel it... Another problem i have come across is she feels slightly guilty wanting to be pleasured (but don't worry I'm combating this, a it turns me on when you want it worked out quite well)
Anyway, thanks for the mountain of information and when i get a chance i will try some more :p
Education about her own body certainly is neccesary. I had an easy time because I was a Biology Major :p
What really did help my sex life more than anything was the reverse of what most men may think. I just stopped mentioning sex altogether. My fiance always told me she loves me and she always wanted to satisfy my emotional and physical needs, but when she knew I was horny she'd get all tensed up and lost confidence in herself to make me happy. That nervousness actually Took away her libido.
So I worked, little by little to take the mention of sex out of daily speak and coincidentally our sex lives got better at an equal rate. I don't claim to be a psychologist but I'm just guessing that without the pressure of knowing I'm horny, she could be a lot more at ease and began to see sex as an act of love, not a duty.
Now the only problem is there's too much sex going on in the house now :eek: I look forward to business trips now because it means I can actually REGAIN energy whenever i get in bed as oppossed to expending even more energy.
[COLOR="DarkRed">Nomyud, that is interesting.... I never really thought about myself as being the nervous and dutiful wife, but the way you talk about it, maybe I am... and maybe if there were less talk of sex, even jokes and such, I might be more willing to perform better for him....
I know this wasn't for me, but it just might help, thanks![/COLOR]