Ok, this may be the wrong place but it seems like an active board with nice, honest people so:
Hey guys and girls!
I'm a 16 y/o guy and I'm interested in getting the girls perspective on 'hooking up', although guys are welcome to comment as well. Please also say your age (aprox if thats a problem ;) )
So girls, how do you like ur guy to kiss you? Are there any things that are definate turn-on's/turn-off's? In private or with other people? Do you like it if the guy asks first (first time) or just does it? How much is too much?
Some things I'm unsure about:
If I have a hard-on, should I try to pretend I don't (hide it, sit/stand in a way that prevents her feeling it ect.) or just let her feel it? Is knowing the guy has a hard-on a good thing or not?
Is it ever ok to talk about it (hooking up), either before or after? What type of talking about it is ok? Just saying 'that was awesome'? or 'was that any good'?
Anyway, I'd love to hear you're thoughts...
I am not a big fan of "hooking up." Mainly, I believe that everything physically is way better when you have strong feelings for the other person. However, most girls tend to ignore the fact that you have a hard-on if it is something they don't want to address. So just go on making out or whatever, but don't try to pull your thing out and expect anything. Let her do that.
Well, there really shouldn't be any awkwardness. The only time I would say that it would be awkward afterwards is if she was drunk and you took advantage of her or wutever when conciously she really wouldn't have wanted to. Other than that, if you like the girl, and she likes, you, you shouldn't feel awkward. Especially not a week or so later. By then you could be taking the next step anyway.
m/16
Thanks that helped a lot, although keep answering guys!
And what's the best way to deal with that akwardness the day (or week) after?
first off, I'm 18.
this goes for most of the girls I know: I like soft kisses with not a lot of tongue, just enough to get her to join in, but when really in the heat of the moment, more passionate kisses are great!!
I like a guy who is confident in what he can do, but doesn't flaunt it...I also kind of like when he's a little unsure, but still willing to try. Major turnoffs: overconfidence, aka arrogance, and not having an open mind...and also having absolutely no confidence (I'm talking about the guys who won't even try anything because they think it will be horrible)
alright, the erection thing: I think it's very flattering to see a guy have one in response to me...however, make a point to not draw too much attention to it...it's a natural thing and there's not much you can do about it, but when you make it the center of attention, it generally turns a girl off because it seems like that's all you care about...
really, any talking whatsoever is a good idea, but don't just talk. communication is a key staple in a good relationship, but don't forget to take action. Still, it is very important to find out what she's expecting, what she likes, what she wants, and communicate to her what you expect, what you like, what you want, and you may have to compromise...but that's what a relationship is...
I really hope this helps!!!