Serious help planning bi-curious 3-way

[bulbinking]

Alright, so I am a little bi-curious and have never gotten to experiment. Even if its just once in my life I feel like I HAVE to try it. My gf seems okay with this, but she wants to be there when its happens. More specifically, she wants to part of the action. Here is where things get tricky...she isn't interested in doing anything with whatever man we find, and I am extremely jealous (almost violently, to whoever I find a threat, not to my gf) and we need to know some positions or things we can do where she is included, but is only sexually involved with me.

I am sure you can see the difficulties, I can only think of 2 positions off the top of my head...

Any suggestions would be appreciated. We have both agreed this is going to be a one time deal, and neither of us want her to be doing anything sexual with the other guy.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

There are two search engines that you can use to search the site for information on bi-curious and bisexual discussions.

> I am a little bi-curious and have never gotten to experiment. Even if its just once in my life I feel like I HAVE to try it. My gf seems okay with this, but she wants to be there when its happens.

Personally, I would keep these activities private while not being in a relationship. If ever asked in the future, then give truthful information on a need to know basis. {of what benefit is it for him/her to know?)

> she isn't interested in doing anything with whatever man we find

As noted, you are talking about a two-some, not a three-some with the party of the third part being emotionally connected to you. Bad idea for this scenario.

> we need to know some positions or things we can do where she is included, but is only sexually involved with me.

You two first need to establish whether this is a three-some or a two-some and then establish a game plan and what the boundaries are.

> I am extremely jealous (almost violently, to whoever I find a threat, not to my gf)

And why are you bringing this up? You want to have sex with someone yet with a possibility of violence in the mix? Dude, chill, and get yourself together mentally and emotionally. Violence or the potential for acting out has no place in all this, or any relationship for that matter.

> I am sure you can see the difficulties

Asked and answered. If you want to experiment then do so on your own and not with a partner or from inside an existing relationship. You have spoken about too many variables for this to be very successful and without having future tensions with your relationship. Historically, three-somes rarely end well for the two principles.

My main concern is the red flag you posed regarding your jealousy. You need to get this under control regardless of what you ultimately do. Establishing trust will help you overcome this. If you cannot have trust in others, or be trustworthy yourself, then I wouldn't be with anyone unless and until you are ready to work on whatever issues are causing you to be jealous, and then fix them.

> I can only think of 2 positions off the top of my head...

Check out the many illustrated animated positions found on the site's Home Page.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

[bulbinking]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

There are two search engines that you can use to search the site for information on bi-curious and bisexual discussions.

> I am a little bi-curious and have never gotten to experiment. Even if its just once in my life I feel like I HAVE to try it. My gf seems okay with this, but she wants to be there when its happens.

Personally, I would keep these activities private while not being in a relationship. If ever asked in the future, then give truthful information on a need to know basis. {of what benefit is it for him/her to know?)

> she isn't interested in doing anything with whatever man we find

As noted, you are talking about a two-some, not a three-some with the party of the third part being emotionally connected to you. Bad idea for this scenario.

> we need to know some positions or things we can do where she is included, but is only sexually involved with me.

You two first need to establish whether this is a three-some or a two-some and then establish a game plan and what the boundaries are.

> I am extremely jealous (almost violently, to whoever I find a threat, not to my gf)

And why are you bringing this up? You want to have sex with someone yet with a possibility of violence in the mix? Dude, chill, and get yourself together mentally and emotionally. Violence or the potential for acting out has no place in all this, or any relationship for that matter.

> I am sure you can see the difficulties

Asked and answered. If you want to experiment then do so on your own and not with a partner or from inside an existing relationship. You have spoken about too many variables for this to be very successful and without having future tensions with your relationship. Historically, three-somes rarely end well for the two principles.

My main concern is the red flag you posed regarding your jealousy. You need to get this under control regardless of what you ultimately do. Establishing trust will help you overcome this. If you cannot have trust in others, or be trustworthy yourself, then I wouldn't be with anyone unless and until you are ready to work on whatever issues are causing you to be jealous, and then fix them.

> I can only think of 2 positions off the top of my head...

Check out the many illustrated animated positions found on the site's Home Page.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

Well... I say she is my gf when really she is my fiancee, and even though we dont consider having same sex relations "cheating" either of us would still feel very left out if we didn't even know about the others exploits or were allowed to watch...

So you are saying even if my fiancee is involved, it wouldn't be a threesome because the extra man would only be having relations with me? If so then I guess we are planning regular sex with her being involved with me somehow...

Neither of us want a typical threesome where everybody is involved with everybody else, it would just be me and the other dude, finding some way where I could please my fiancee in the process. There are three things I can think of.

1. I am getting it from behind while doing her missionary
2. I am eating her out while getting it from behind
3. she sits on my face and I eat her out while I am getting it in the "deckchair" position found on this site

aside from those three positions, I am drawing up blanks, and I am not sure if those three positions would be enough to fill the time we have set aside for an event such as this.

p.s. about the jealousy issue, if I find a completely gay man instead of another bicurious/bisexual then it wont really be any issue at all, because I wouldn't have to worry about her leaving me to be with a homosexual.

[dancingdoc2]

> p.s. about the jealousy issue, if I find a completely gay man instead of another bicurious/bisexual then it wont really be any issue at all, because I wouldn't have to worry about her leaving me to be with a homosexual.

What you have to worry about is:

A. your insecurity
B. inability to trust your fiancee
C. inability to trust anyone without constantly checking and rechecking up on him/her

Relationships are partnerships, including the sexual component.
Relationships are formed between two autonomous adults, each
with a past, who choose to join together in order to have a future
that is greater than the sum of its two parts.

If she chooses to continue to be with you of her own volition,
what in God's good name do you need to worry about and check
up on--or question unless and until such time as she gives you cause.

When you fail to wake up each morning and ask yourself:
"Self" what can I do today to make ....'s {insert name) life better
and then doing so, then you might have cause for worry about
your future together; however, this is NOT what jealousy is about,
it IS what insecurity is about.

If you cannot establish trust then you should absolutely not get married, or be in any sort of committed relationship. If you believe you have to constantly worry about what she might do to jeopardize your relationship, then you are far too insecure and your self esteem is in need of work.

Certainly, your rational mind has to know that all men do not wonder and worry if each of their mates is staying with their man until they find someone better. Come on.... If you are constantly worried about some man, any man, friend or acquaintance, doing something to steal her from you then you do not have sufficient trust in yourself, either, and this is equally as damaging.

So, rather than be thinking about pursuing and fulfilling sexual fantasies, I recommend working on you so you can really enjoy "the greater good" as noted, above.

What makes you believe a completely Gay man is going to want a woman in the mix?

Statistically, women do not leave a relationship or cheat in order to have sex.
Statistically, women leave in order to have a more fulfilling emotional interaction. That said, fix yourself and you will have no need to be insecure. Do this before ever declaring "I do".

> I say she is my gf when really she is my fiancee

She is both, although, I am wondering why you do not now refer to her as your fiancee?

> it would just be me and the other dude, finding some way where I could please my fiancee in the process.

As for #2 & #3, where does your climax fit in?

Despite or in spite of popular belief, many if not most men and women do not want a anal intercourse involving a penis due to safety issues. Either party can decline. So, do not assume {to make an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me') that some fella you meet is automatically going to either want or want to deliver a penis. In selecting either number, you might as well plan on a hand job and/or oral stimulation with and from him until you learn otherwise.

> I am not sure if those three positions would be enough to fill the time we have set aside for an event such as this.

How much time do you have planned for this eventy?

Communication is key to having a successful relationship. Do you two have serious and important conversations and discuss matters of concern or importance? I think you have much to discuss.


Warning Signs
Parts 1 & 2

-doc

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Wow... I was expecting some people to just give their suggestions and positions, or relate stories of similar experiences... but what I received I believe to have been much better. You are correct, I do have some trust issues. Not necessarily related to anything my fiancee has done (she hasn't done anything worse then your average decent women, and mostly on accident) but as a result from my own past. We are still pretty young, (although not in our relationship, we are coming up to our third anniversary. The only reason we aren't married is because her mother is currently helping her finish college and will stop if she get married) so there isn't need to rush into any experimenting until we are both secure in our relationship with eachother. (she has a few insecurities too, although I'm the bigger worrywart) I feel that you have a lot of experience in life, and am glad to have received your wisdom. We weren't 100% deadset on doing anything soon anyway, and now we will be 100% deadset on strengthening our bonds before we start trying new things.

Thanks again.

[dancingdoc2]

"Proceed with all possible 'vigah'!"

[Whynot101]

You are so fortunate to have a gf so understanding. I too am curious but not for anal. I would like to try giving oral sex. I can only dream of what your about to do. I understand her involvement only with you, I would feel the same way. Personally, if this were me, I would lay on a bed with my bed near the foot of the bed, she could get ontop of me facing me and ride me for her enjoyment. At the same time the other male could stand at the foot of the bed and place his penis in my mouth. This way she can watch him going in and out of my mouth and ultimately cum in my mouth for her to see and for me to enjoy as she watches me swallow and I'm sure the other male would also be satisfied. I often see men with these same desires but most are like you looking for anal. I'm simply fasinated about someone having sex with my mouth since I've done this with gf in the past, just feel I would like it done to me.