a couple more questions

[Thecalliton]

yeah... i have more questions. I apologize if i am annoying anyone by asking stuff... people tend to get pissed at me.

im bi-curious, and have really started to sort out my feeling lately, i have had dreams and "sympathy horny" where i see an aroused male and kind of sympathize and become horny too. im just.... confused. Please help me out here.

first off, is it ok to experiment with other guys if you are in a relationship with a girl? She is ok with it, but im hesitant, i don't want to feel like im cheating on her, especially if im still a virgin.

second, what is the best way to find another guy to experiment with?

third, why is homosexuality in men seen as worse than homosexuality in women?

and lastly, is it possible that i might be wanting this because my life is... boring? someone told me that before, and i really hope they are wrong.


thanks for reading, and please don;t get angry at my noobishness

[Ducy]

First and foremost. Saying your bi curious outta boredom is ignorant. Its like saying being bisexual means your gay but too embarassed to admit it.

If she is ok with you experimenting then experiment. She has given you the green light. But make sure that it is not a case of "well you fooled around with others so I'm gonna fool around with others". I once had a gf tell me its ok for me to sleep with other girls, come time find out she was doing it so she could sleep with my best friend. It was a way of saying "I wanna sleep with other people so you go sleep with other people" that way there is no confrontation.

There is nothing wrong with experimenting. Go out and meet people. I mean you could try gay chat rooms and such but its up to you how you go about it. But always use protection.

As far as a "sympathy" erection. Perhaps it is pheremones release while a guy has an erection that gets you hard. I mean I am not a doctor so its speculation.

Homosexuality in men is frowned upon because in our "society" men are supposed to be masculine powerful people who are sexual tyranasaurs who destroy women on a nightly basis. To want other men is a "feminine" thing. Ignore it. If you like men you like men. If you like women you like women. What you do is your own business. Don't let other peoples opinions get to you because opinions are just that....opinions.

[Thecalliton]

thanks for responding. Im not saying im bi-curious out of boredom, it is something someone else said that has kinda been eating at me.
thanks again, going to a christian school since kindergarden is one reason im still confused about all this.

[Ducy]

Ya I had 8 years of strict catholic school and parents who were almost psychotic when it came to sex.

And I know you don't think your bi curious because your bored. I'm telling you to not let anyone "convince" you of that.

Plus its very confusing discovering your sexual identity. I have had my bi curious thoughts. I am straight but incredibly open. I once kissed a guy in a bet with 2 girls. I kiss him they get with me! I was in no way aroused by the man, but the two ladies were arousing lol.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by Thecalliton

... i have more questions. I apologize if i am annoying anyone by asking stuff...

Not to worry. Asking questions and receiving answers is why this site exists. The only stupid question is the one not asked.

im bi-curious, and have really started to sort out my feeling lately, i have had dreams and "sympathy horny" where i see an aroused male and kind of sympathize and become horny too. im just.... confused. Please help me out here.

What are you specifically confused about? Please give details so that we can offer specific replies.

Men and women are aroused from having one or more of our five senses aroused; therefore, sight, touch, smell, etc., including having a vivid imagination all or in part help to turn us on. That you view a male or female form, their anatomy, their actions, can all stimulate and arouse us. It's all good.

first off, is it ok to experiment with other guys if you are in a relationship with a girl?

The key word is "relationship". How have you as a couple defined what is right and proper? If the relationship is "open" and not exclusive, then there should be no problem dating other people. It is only when a couple choose to make their relationship exclusive that seeing others, dating others, sleeping with others, presents potential problems.

She is ok with it, but im hesitant, i don't want to feel like im cheating on her, especially if im still a virgin.

Cheating is cheating whether a person is a virgin or not. (See above)

second, what is the best way to find another guy to experiment with?

Personal ads in newspapers.
Gay organizations w/in the community or on college campuses
Craig's List
Friends

third, why is homosexuality in men seen as worse than homosexuality in women?

Ducy offered as good an answer as any.

and lastly, is it possible that i might be wanting this because my life is... boring? someone told me that before, and i really hope they are wrong.

thanks for reading, and please don;t get angry at my noobishness

Maybe yes, maybe no---probably neither. Teens and people in their twenties often go thru phases. Older adults do, too, so explore and learn from these experiences. Being bi- does not mean a person is Gay, only that s/he is curious about members of the same gender and their sexual practices and what it might be like to have sex with someone of the same gender--or, to develop a personal relationship with him or her. Curiosity satisfied, may put an end to this, or, transition a person from -curious to bisexual in which a person can be attracted to someone from either gender.

All that results from being bored is curiosity and wondering "what if". There is nothing wrong with "what if's".

Here are a couple of articles to read:

Male / Female Sexual Behavior--If I like certain things does this mean I'm Gay?

Exclusivity vs. Dating Around

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

-doc

[Thecalliton]

the confusion come from my bring raised in a christian setting. I was always told it was wrong, yet I know it isnt. It is just my earlier childhood contradicting my own experience and feelings.

thank you so much doc
you are a miracle worker.

edit: just realized i kind of repeated myself

[Hotloverboy]

I've had bicurious thoughts but am definitely straight.

[ArianaCary]

Like you condition also with good to shared.

[dancingdoc2]

Ariana, is English a second language for you?

Your statement, above, makes absolutely no sense.