Discovering alternative sex late in life -- Am I gay, bi or what?

[wc069]

I am/was a 49 yr old straight man who was married for 18 yrs but am now divorced (7 yrs ago). I presently have a girlfriend but our sex life is limited. In the years since my divorce, i have been on a number of gay/bi websites and chatrooms. I have chatted with a number of guys and even met a few. Th idea of another man's cock (seeing pics and movies of gay/bi action) can get me hard and horny.
I still enjoy sex with my g/f but, as I said, it is limited. When it comes to meeting other men, my interest is mainly oral in nature... I like to stroke and suck their cock and love to make them cum. As for them servicing me, I can take it or leave it. As far as anal sex, I have not tried it with another man yet but I am intrigued.
I would like to explore more with other guys but I am not sure how to proceed further.

[Brandye]

We each proceed in our own manner. It sounds as though you are bi-, at least in your present situation.

You do need to be cautious because the risks you take are taken for your g/f as well without her knowledge. Lord knows, I have no issues with your being bi- but there are certain ethical issues of imposing health risks on a partner.

Your sex life could be "limited" for many reasons. If it is lack of interest on her part, perhaps you need to look beyond her.

[dancingdoc2]

Do you live in a large city or a small town or community?

Some cities have "underground" newspapers that are often free and found in stands at restaurants, street corners, etc. Check these for the Personal ads section. The same goes for regular newspapers.

[sera300]

I believe you are doing yourself a disservice through not finding out more...however, be certain to discuss this with your g/f to ensure safety. Do not lead her through a "monogamous" relationship while you figure this out...allow her to go her own way & if she does not accept your sexuality, let her find another & you find a woman who accepts it.

CONDOMS ARE A MUST!

So, is it a big deal if you are bi??? NO!

[luvpussy]

yes in deed no condoms is like playing rusian roulette

[DVDBear]

You say you've met a few men. How did you do that?

It's really no secret how to meet gay men; there are ads, bars, the web. If your interest is only sex I'd say bars are good because it's a personal contact and gives you a indication what someone is like. You can also put your interests right out there if it looks like things are clicking (if you only want oral or whatever). If you "hook up" with someone off the web or personals make sure to arrange a meeting on neutral ground first . . . . a Starbucks or something. As mentioned elsewhere don't get caught up in the heat of the moment (especially anal activity) without a condom.

Good luck.

[shaved bi]

I also feel that you should be open with your g/f. One place that you may meet other gay or bisexual men is at a nudists
resort. That is were I had my first gay experience.