since the last time I have seen them

[goof'schik]

I have found out that some of the people I grew up with are either homo-sexual or lesbian. Isn't a lesbian a homo-sexual? Now I have no issue with this, back in college I went to more "gay" than straight bars. Better music, and a few of my friends were gay so it's where we went, no biggie.
With my 30 year high school reunion less than a year away a couple of these people have contacted me, thru email, and well they didn't tell me. But when one persons profile states she likes women, she has three kids, and another says my partner and I (he's a male) it's clear to me that they are what they are. Now I grew up with these people, same neighborhood, saw them everyday, played tag, ghost in the graveyard and had three legged races with them and their siblings.
I don't think they should have to say "hey guess what I'm a homo-sexual" as I would have to say that I am a hetro-sexual. But I have not talked to nor seen some of these people in 30 years. I want them to be comfortable, I don't know how their families stand, could care less. These were cool people who I shared my childhood with, they never did anything to me. If they don't bring it up do I?

[DVDBear]

I'd say no. If they're comfortable with it they'll bring it up. Usually it comes out when someone asks "Are you married?" or "Do you have kids", something like that. Those are innocent questions that inevitably get asked when someone hasn't seen you in ages, and it opens the door to a response that either subtly or directly addresses the subject; "No, I have a partner" or "No, I'm gay" or whatever.

[goof'schik]

Did I put my foot in my mouth, CL be nice.

I have a photo of a guy, I guess he's about 15 or so, in one of my swimsuits striking a pose on the diving board at my parents house. So this picture is 30, 31 years old give or take.

I know he's gay, been with his partner for 20 years and they have adopted 2 children. They went earlier this month and got married in California.

Well in a letter I mentioned this photo. I don't know if I worded the letter right, but it was mentioned as if I had a picture of anyone, and what they were doing and wearing. We really were all good friends back growing up and like I told him he was lucky he left his speedo on so I didn't have to hurt him and burn my bathing suit. We had a clothes line where we hung wet suits and clothes and he took it off there and put it on. He was also a good 6 inches taller than me and luckily didn't stretch it so I could never wear it. Yes it was a one piece. I really hope I didn't offend him, would never ask him that why I am asking you.

[sera300]

Yes, CL...please answer her questions since you are the only option she values!

[constantlylearning]

Value my opinion----that I highly doubt.......I just read the opening thread/question........ Although, I have never been faced with this sort
of situation (not sure why but truly never have). I really don't think I would
act or treat them differently. I suppose that if you never make an issue of it
in the first place then there will NEVER BE AN ISSUE.

[goof'schik]

Sera, CL's opinions are not the only opinions I value. I was making a comment as in a conversation between a group of people, this is a very sticky issue for me. I have been accused of being a snob, a "b i t c h" and well other not very nice things and I don't want to ruin rekindling a childhood friendship because of a misunderstanding. CL I do value your opinion as I do Sera's and everyone elses. I hope people value mine, this is a discussion board and if I wasn't looking for everyones opinions I wouldn't of posted.

CL thanks, I think what you are telling me is to lay low. That only if he was to say something to me about my comment to bring it up. The fact that I did not mention this photo only because he is gay, but because when I look thru the photo album it's in, it makes me smile and remember him. And alot of fun memories of our childhood.

[Brandye]

People are people, with the same interests as other people; it does not matter with whom they crawl into bed.

[constantlylearning]

Brandye, you do have a way with words.........are you far from St. Andrews or
GlenEagles??

[TnL329]

The best thing you can do to people who are gay/lesbian/homosexual whatever you want to call it is TREAT THEM LIKE A REGULAR PERSON. I work at a golf course, and a few of the players there are gay. I had no idea till I was told a few months after I started working there. One of them also worked with me. It is no big deal what so ever. I have played golf with these people, I have gone on golf trips with them, rode to the course, and rode in a golf cart with them. They are just like everyone else. In fact, the most popular guy at the golf course, is openly gay.

[goof'schik]

sigh of relief. He has written me back, and was thrilled to hear from me. He was more my younger brother's friend than mine and had just heard about my brother committing suicide. This person is actually a year older than me so he found out at his 30th reunion, that if I was not in the hospital I would of crashed. He had searched the internet for both myself and my brother on the internet, and couldn't find us.
And even though it has been a long time since we have seen each other we are very much like a long lost brother and sister. He joked about him trying on my swimsuit as to possibly being what turned him "queer". Is that an ok term to use? I guess with the tv show and him using it why not.
He brought up alot of memories from growing up, specific to myself and my family. We had, over the years, a couple of parakeets, ate a lot of Little Ceasars pizza and bread and butter. My mom made the best toast and butter, I know but she did and he remembered. He had gone with us on ski trips up north and to an amusement park a couple of hours south. He remembered all of this, and wow.
He also had no problem asking me for more details on my brothers death. He committed suicide and he has asked for more details, which I will write and tell him. I don't have an issue with that at all. I am so doing a happy dance right now, he is a great man who practices medicine. I am very proud of him, now I'm waiting for pictures of him, his partner and their two kids!