Bi or Lesbian...advice please

[Dazed]

Okay so I just got out of a relationship with a wonderful guy. He was my first boyfriend and basically my entire sexual history...for whatever reason I just havent felt the same since school started. My mom wouldnt let me out during the school week so I would see him maybe 1 time a week if I was lucky...so i think this is why. I mean how do you love someone you never see right?

Anyways before we started dating I had always been attracted to girls. Like I would see a girl and thin she is attractive. I was never really like OMFG that guys is fine I want him in me NOW! Like for instance I was watching we own the night, and I got turned on watching eva mendez fingering herself, and wound up rubbing myself off in the theater.

But then i met my ex, and I really wanted to go out with him, and to kiss me and stuff even though I had never been attracted to girls, I had always found this strange want for him to kiss me and stuff.

Well needless to say we took it slow since we were both pretty new to everything, but eventually we started fooling around. Usually he would have to intitiate it, since I was never like in the mood. but when I could feel him get hard through his pants, or I would unzip them and see it I would get wet. I loved to touch it, and for some reason when I knew he was going to shoot I couldnt help but watch it until it was done. He actually begged me to stop one night, because I kept playing with it, even when it was soft. IDK if it was a case of curiosity or perhaps the thought that I was pleasing him since I liked him to masterbate in front of me. But once it was away, it wasnt like oh Im all hot please finish me now...

I also liked having sex with him, and having him rub his penis against me, the sensation of him being inside me felt great, and after our first time, I actually intitiated fooling around, but just once.

I just dont understand. I mean I get turned on by seeing a sexy topless woman, or two girls kissing, but not by a buff guy, or a man and woman having sex. But yet my ex boyfriend would get me wet, and I could get turned on by looking at his penis. I just had a desire for woman, and a desire for him...but not other men...so yea

Sorry for a long post I jus figured honesty was the best way to get advice so yea...what do you guys think. Is it just bicurios, lesbian with a slight want for a penis or what...im just so confused.

[Brandye]

From the way you write, I am assuming you are in your mid- to late teens. Most women do go through bi-curiousity. Some act on it and some do not but the wondering is quite natural. Some studies show that up about a third of all married women have had at least one same sex contact. In the olden days of private girls' schools, some estimated that up to half of the women had same sex experience with most going on to normal married lives.

I am actively bi-sexual and went through periods of straight, lesbian and no sex. We all follow our own paths.

[Ducy]

This story sounds scarily familiar...

My girlfriend was like this, we broke up mid october, and she fooled around with a girl, and didnt like it, she just enjoyed the fantasy of it.

I would say try to experiment, just go out and see what it is. And how long had you been dating this man of yours? I mean was it a LTR like a year or more, or was it short term? like a month. Because

Like for instance I was watching we own the night, and I got turned on watching eva mendez fingering herself, and wound up rubbing myself off in the theater.

But then i met my ex, and I really wanted to go out with him, and to kiss me and stuff even though I had never been attracted to girls, I had always found this strange want for him to kiss me and stuff.

that kinda confuses me a bit. If it was short term maybe it was just curiosity.

[Dazed]

What makes you think I am mid teen? I mean I am 18 but what gave it away? And I mean I have had people tell me everyone usualy goes through this, but I am just so confused since I always felt something with girls, and then my ex boyfriend comes along and like I just fell in love with his penis. But like other guys dont make me hot, and stuff. Just girls and him which is kinda extremely weird

[Brandye]

I guess you make my point on assuming age. Not a very mature post in response to answers to your question.

I just said it is quite normal and we each sort it out on our own terms.

[Dazed]

Sorry...I tend to just ignore the big picture of things, and I did that on your post and ducy's too. You guys did give me advice. I guess I was just hoping for a clear cut answer.

[Ducy]

Ouch Brandye....I guess it is a bit of immaturity but at the same time, I mean I was straight up freaking out when I was going through this sorta thing. I always loved women, but then one day, I realized I was checking out a guy, and I even had dreams involving both men and women. I was freaking out and I ignored advice, hoping to find someone with a yes or no answer.

[Brandye]

Ducy,

I am likely the age of your mother or older and I do not have it figured out. My life has had clear cut phases, especially during the couple years of engagement, but no clear answer. If my fiance had lived, may have gone one way; he did not. If other relationships had worked out, perhaps another. I no longer fret over it but try to live a decent and happy life. Sex is a big part of that but we do not need all the answers to have a pretty good time. We are what we are .... now.

[Ducy]

Okay brandye. I mean I know that as you get older things make a lot more sense, or it is a lot easier to figure out things lol. I do not doubt your advice or anything. I was simply standing up for the little guy so to speak. Sorry its force of habit with me. I mean she should focus on the advice more since it isnt most likely going to be clear cut since she is young, but I mean....idk im so confused on what I am trying to say. lol. Sorry brandye and dazed. Ima go take nap

[sera300]

I guess the point you as the OP & Ducy are looking for a clear cut picture and there is not one. Experiment sexually & see where you are most comfortable. As you get older "having the answers" is not as important; rather leading a happy life is the most significant part. How do you find happiness? Try life, see what makes you happy, and then live it. What you find attractive is your teens, 20's, 30's, etc...continuously changes. But experimenting will help you find your sexual identity, likes, & dislikes.