Trying for a threesome

[arutha]

Hey guys, just wondering what is the best way to get a FMF threesome set up and in motion? Also any tips for how to enjoy it?

I'll give you a bit of background. I've got a girlfriend, who has expressed some interest in threesomes, though she can get a bit jealous sometimes. We have a mutual (female) friend who I think would be a good candidate. I have flirted with her quite a lot and at times pretty heavily over the last few months, and at times she has expressed an interest in sleeping with me. Both girls are bi. There was a time when just the three of us played spin the bottle, and were kissing each other, I have also been in bed with both of them (individually and together) but only had sex with my gf. The other girl hasn't had sex in a fair while either.

I was thinking about starting with a game of twister to get us all flirting and having fun with each other, but not really sure how to escalate smoothly and confidently. There is a fair potential that things could go wrong. Maybe I could do the dual massage trick from The Game, but I'm not sure about kissing the other girl just randomly since I'm not really in an open relationship with my gf.

Any thoughts would be great.

[SensualPlayland]

Hey, you're halfway there. If they are interested in chicks, chances are that they've talked about it before. Say things to your gf like "have you thought about ____ that way before? Would you ever be with her?

Watch some 3way porn and talk about it while you're watching. Talk about the jealousy piece and fight your way through it. Explain that with men sex is just sex....there is no emotional connection like there is with women (most). Let her know that you love her and not the other chick....she's just another sex toy but a friend..so its all good.

Try to get them to start playing with eachother. Start kissing and touching eachother and you just sit back (maybe direct). Ease your way into the mix and make sure to give your girl plenty of attention. Don't insist on bangin the other chick the first time either. If you can get a double BJ or get them playing with toys...mission accomplished man. It can happen again and you'll have your chance.

DRINKS WILL HELP TO LOOSEN THE MOOD!!!

[sera300]

Fist speak with your current and set guidelines; then have her over for a drink & open a bottle of wine...you said this was tough to talk w/to the other woman before (previous post)...set the guidelines...and see what happens.

[Ducy]

Sera is right you have to ask your girlfriend because as you said you dont have an open relationship. Dont let the making out fool you into thinking that she is okay with a threesome. It could have very easily been because it is a game. I mean I would kiss a another during a game like spin the botle, but it doesnt mean that I want to have a threesome or that I would be okay with it.

[arutha]

It has been brought up a few times before (with this specific girl) both by me and my gf. Some of the time she says yes, other times she says no. Last time she brought it up, I actually said it wouldn't happen because she would get too jealous. I wanted to gauge her reaction, and do a bit of push-pull. About a day after I said that she described a very vivid dream she had had where the three of us had a threesome. I asked her if she enjoyed it, and she said yes. That is what got me a bit more driven to actually try for it. It might be a good idea to have a bit more of a serious talk, but I feel it would be better if she doesn't know about it beforehand, or she may overthink it or even tell the other girl.

Another issue is protection. My gf is on the BC injection, so we don't use condoms. The other girl is not on any form of BC, but all three of us are clean of disease. I most certainly don't want to get the other girl pregnant. It might seem a bit less spontaneous if I suddenly have condoms with me, since I don't use them with my gf..

[Brandye]

Sounds like threesome questions are back in style. Two today.

There are many threads on the topic; look around. You do raise a unique dimension with respect to birth control. It begs the question with respect to disease. Is she celibate or what form of protection has she been using? You sure?

And with "jealous-type" I cannot imagine this having a happy ending.

[browneyedgirl]

First off, please read this article, it addresses everything you need to think about: http://www.allsexguide.com/threesome.htm

REDFLAG!!! Don't do it with this girl! Yes, it is convenient because she's here for the taking. But she's tried to have sex with you before? This is NOT a good threesome dynamic. A good threesome dynamic would be someone who you aren't going to be spending time with a lot afterward, and who isn't just interested in you but is interested in both of you. Why? Because if you have sex with the other girl in the threesome, and your girlfriend is a bit jealous, there is no question that it will bother her when you guys hang out alone afterwards. And frankly she should be jealous, because this girl is trying to get you have to sex with her, and you are tempted by it. Also, would you be content with a one time threesome or would you want to have sex with the other girl afterward? What if your girlfriend wasn't OK with this?

Logistically, what you describe is also NOT a good way to bring about a threesome. Bringing another partner into your sexlife is a big deal, and you really need to talk to your girlfriend about it beforehand, make sure that it is something you both want to do and are OK with, talk about when and where it will take place, and what your boundaries will be. You also need to talk to the other girl about it beforehand, and discuss what is going to happen. And yes, you need to discuss protection and disease. Otherwise you guys might all have really different ideas about what is going to happen and be disappointed afterward, and it might damage your relationship. You need to discuss what is going to happen and what your boundaries are. For instance, are you going to have sex with both girls? Or are you going to watch them have sex, get a blowjob, and have sex with your girlfriend? These might seem like minute details, but they are very important if your relationship is at all important to you. If this doesn't go well, it could very well be something that you and your girlfriend cannot recover from.

Please think about this more before you go ahead with it!

[machine_rat]

I wish that I had some advice to give on this subject, but three of the four encounters that I had all came about spontaneously (the first one had been set up, not by me, using a game of strip poker).

But yeah, it's been my experience that the harder I try to get events in motion, the less likely they are to occur. My wife goes through phases as well that leaves me uncertain as to her stance [of the moment]. At times she'll comment how cute/hot another girl looks, at other times she gets puritanical and feels guilty for the times that she kissed girls. Not too long ago she complained of missing the female body, but later didn't show interest in pursuing the new opportunities she had to bring another girl home.

[arutha]

Yes, it could end the relationship, but as a young man who certainly doesn't want to end up marrying or living with my current gf, I'm willing to risk it for the experience, since I imagine a situation like this wouldn't come up all too often.

Anyway, I've taken the stance that I mentioned in my last post with her, that she would get too jealous so its never going to happen. Now she seems more interested in it than before, and has said that even though she gets jealous at me flirting with other girls she wouldn't get jealous of us having a threesome. I can't quite see that logic, what do people think?