Came far too soon

[bboy01]

Hey, I met a boy at the weekend and we went off together to do some gay stuff, since we're both in the closet.

It was my first time ever getting my penis sucked, we were just kissing at first then I was giving him a hand job and when he started sucking me I came after about 20 seconds, if that, although I then started to suck him and he lasted longer as I guess hes more experianced.

Is there any way to stop me coming so soon or does it just naturally happen with more experiance?

[Ducy]

Ok since you seem fairly new, just try reading around the forum. Try looking in the sexual health section or new to sex threads.

Although I am fairly sure you might not,

Basically, there is the start and stop...when you feel yourself starting to reach climax, stop, until you descend back into control. This helps and it increases stamina over time.

There is also the squeeze technique, where you exert pressure at the base of the penis, which will stop the flow of semen.

Finally, Kegels, which takes a while to master, but can give you the abilities for multiples.

[dancingdoc2]

Hereyago.

Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controling Premature Ejaculation

> he lasted longer as I guess hes more experianced.

Experienced? Maybe yes, maybe no. Much has to do with technique and how turned on the person is. The other part of the equation has to do with knowledge and control as with knowing about and mastering the techniques in the above article.

Feedback is important. When a person masturbates he benefits from an internal feedback that gives him cues for how to change or modulate his movements or make any mid course corrections. When the reins are turned over to someone else we loose that feedback. It can be replaced through verbal or non-verbal communication that lets his partner know how he is responding to their touch and caress and for what he needs--now.

Here is another article with additional insight into this:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

This is Chapter Five in a series of articles. Just follow the link and then scroll down until you get to this part.

More experience will not necessarily solve the problem. More knowledge and skill should. Have fun and good luck.

Got questions?

[Ducy]

Doc how to you post those links? I only can post URL's how do you get it to say HELP! and all that?

[dancingdoc2]

Ducy, I replied via IM.

If anybody else wants this info, IM me with your request.

-Doc.

[dancingdoc2]

I received a note asking for more information on feedback. Hereyago:

Internal feedback such as we receive when scratching an itch or while stroking a penis during masturbation produces certain sensations that our hand or fingers react to. We can scratch faster, slower, heavier or lighter, etc. in response to these changing sensations. We do similar things when stroking our penis. We may stroke faster, slower, lighter, squeeze tighter, shorten or lengthen the stroke--whatever is required in response to the ever changing sensations.

How do we convey what we need to have happen to our partner? This is accomplished via verbal or non-verbal communication--or giving him/her feedback.

Verbal feedback can be a word or other utterance. Non-verbal can be a squeeze of the hand on an arm or leg, or, some other form of body language that the two of you work out to convey specific meanings. So, asks he, "what do I say?" Here are a few ideas:

* I like that
* More
* More...more...MORE
* Don't stop
* Go slower/faster
* Not so fast
* Not so hard
* Squeeze harder!
* STOP!
* FREEZE!!

Non-verbal cues might be:
* a squeeze of the hand might mean slow down or pause or I'm getting close. Whatever you work out between the two of you.

* rubbing an area of your partner's body back and forth faster, might convey the information that you are getting close to a climax and the faster you rub the closer you are getting. You might transition to tiny jerky movements when you are at the trigger point.

* etc., et cetera, etc.
* Rub here (showing them where "here" is)

-----
Bboy, there are other ways to last longer besides mastering the exercise and squeeze techniques. Here are some suggestions, but first:

+ Just because one or the other of you climaxes prematurely or before you want to is no reason to end the proceedings. You ought to know that you can continue on to round two after some time of recuperation that can be anywhere from several minutes up to half an hour depending upon the person. Just continue to make out, rebuild an erection if need be, later, and continue.

* If or when you are able to associate specific sensations to some benchmarks along your arousal curve so you can monitor how close you are getting to the point of no return, you can then inform your partner what to do like slow down, pause, stop and do something else for a few minutes, etc.

* If you are already at or near your trigger point when you begin oral, then you can pretty much expect that you will climax quickly unless you take one of the above actions.

One fix to this inevitability is to begin oral earlier when you are not nearly so aroused.

Hope this is of help.

[Sirene]

Doc, I read that quite a while ago. I tried it & came straight away when i did it. Didn't work for me.

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

Hereyago.

Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controling Premature Ejaculation

> he lasted longer as I guess hes more experianced.

Experienced? Maybe yes, maybe no. Much has to do with technique and how turned on the person is. The other part of the equation has to do with knowledge and control as with knowing about and mastering the techniques in the above article.

Feedback is important. When a person masturbates he benefits from an internal feedback that gives him cues for how to change or modulate his movements or make any mid course corrections. When the reins are turned over to someone else we loose that feedback. It can be replaced through verbal or non-verbal communication that lets his partner know how he is responding to their touch and caress and for what he needs--now.

Here is another article with additional insight into this:
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

This is Chapter Five in a series of articles. Just follow the link and then scroll down until you get to this part.

More experience will not necessarily solve the problem. More knowledge and skill should. Have fun and good luck.

Got questions?

[dancingdoc2]

> Doc, I read that quite a while ago. I tried it & came straight away when i did it. Didn't work for me.

Thank you for the feedback. Well, let's try and figure out why. I have some questions for you.

* How many times did you repeat the exercise?

* How many days did you work on the process?

* Did you perform the exercise by your self or with a partner?

Without knowing how you will answer, and whether your statement is literal or figurative, I will offer some off the cuff information.

First, "I tried it & came straight away". If you only attempted the exercise once or practiced a couple of times, then you gave up much too soon.

Second, as noted in the information, the exercise may require a few weeks depending a lot on how many times you practice and how often.

Third, if you tried by yourself, then it won't work as noted in the article. It will only work with a partner; the reason is because when a person is masturbating we benefit from internal feedback that permits us to associate specific sensations to where we are along our response curve. This is missing when we turn the reins over to a partner and this is why the exercise takes two.

I hope this is of help.

RSVP

[Sirene]

Well. It was me & my girlfriend, I was riding away & i could feel that I was about to cum. So i thought of the squeezing thing you mentioned. I pulled out, grabbed my cock & squeezed the base quite hard, I then came lol.
It was just the first time trying it, perhaps I didnt do it properly?

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

> Doc, I read that quite a while ago. I tried it & came straight away when i did it. Didn't work for me.

Thank you for the feedback. Well, let's try and figure out why. I have some questions for you.

* How many times did you repeat the exercise?

* How many days did you work on the process?

* Did you perform the exercise by your self or with a partner?

Without knowing how you will answer, and whether your statement is literal or figurative, I will offer some off the cuff information.

First, "I tried it & came straight away". If you only attempted the exercise once or practiced a couple of times, then you gave up much too soon.

Second, as noted in the information, the exercise may require a few weeks depending a lot on how many times you practice and how often.

Third, if you tried by yourself, then it won't work as noted in the article. It will only work with a partner; the reason is because when a person is masturbating we benefit from internal feedback that permits us to associate specific sensations to where we are along our response curve. This is missing when we turn the reins over to a partner and this is why the exercise takes two.

I hope this is of help.

RSVP

[dancingdoc2]

Next time try squeezing or clamping down on the shaft where it meets the Corona Rim. Either one of you can do this. Just do not move a muscle. The method does work, although, the reason I added the information about the exercise is so any guy in this situation will have a way to associate various sensations with where he is along his arousal curve. Once you can do this and once you can keep a part of your conscious brain in monitor mode so you command yourself to stop when you are nearing the trigger point of an orgasm then you will be able to manage your climaxes.