Should I Move In?

[CrazyJenny]

This is a spin-off of my other thread, but the thought crossed my mind this afternoon -

My girlfriend has made hints that if I ever want to move in with her, I'm welcome. I'm starting to wonder if this is a good idea. We've been together for six weeks, I feel that I'm in love with her, etc, etc, etc....

However, I also see other advantages. She lives very close to where I work, her apartment is alot nicer (it would get me out of the bad neighborhood in which I live), and if we split the costs of living it would mean that she pays less, and I don't have to pay much more than I'm already paying now. Plus, I would save on gas by not having to drive so far.

Also, we could sleep together, which is something I really like!

Or is this just crazy at this stage?

[dancingdoc2]

Crazy, but....

You have presented some very good arguments for and against. Actually, I think moving in would be beneficial, but only after the two of you have established a solid relationship over time. Six weeks is not enough. A six week period is still in the mutual admiration society stage. I know about love at first sight and even had this happen to me at the beginning of one relationship; however, to test whether or not this is actually love, you need to give yourself time as well as "mileage" to the relationship.

I recommend remaining where you are, or moving somewhere else (check out roommate wanted in the classifieds or businesses that specialize in this service) and then considering this move in six months to a year.

[DVDBear]

Yeah, six to nine months sounds like a plan to me. My partner and I moved in after almost a year because we found a place that was incredible that neither of us could afford alone. Even then I was a little nervous . . . we had such a good thing going I was hoping this wasn't going to spoil it. It didn't. We're still together after thirteen years. (Although we've moved around a lot since then!) Since you're still questioning your sexuality have unsettled issues with your family and such I'd give it longer.

[demonbuttercup]

Jenny
I understand from all your posts that you are one that is lonely and can't stand living alone....therefore that is why your 'g/f" practically lived w/ you like the first week you really knew her?!?

This whole scenerio is still crazy LOL

[Brandye]

Jenny,

Your recent posts have been about figuring out who you are. Living with someone is not conducive to discovery.

[CrazyJenny]

Living with my gf may not be conducive to discovery, but dying slowly of loneliness isn't either. I don't get to see my gf nearly enough the way it is. Except for the first week when she came over alot because she was feeling so bad, keeping contact is hard because we live so far away. It always requires a long drive and special planning, and for me a phone conversation just doesn't feel like the real thing.

Since what it means to be a lesbian has been pretty well defined for me, I guess I'll choose that title since it sounds the best and get on with it. I'm tired of waiting, I'm tired of wondering who I am, so I might as well pick something instead of waffling. She's lonely, I'm lonely, and I'm kind of tired of living where I live. I spent last night at her apartment and didn't even go to my place. I slept better, felt better, and burned alot less gas. I also ate better food, because my gf isn't as freakish about saving money as I am (I probably have my first dollar somewhere.....) I haven't fully made up my mind, but the moving in thing is looking better every day.

[sera300]

Jenny remember calling yourself a lesbian is that--just a title or a label. Use it for now if it helps you to sort through what's happening and your recent discovery. However, in time you need to be 100% of who you are and who you are comfortable with. Just as you have given yourself years to get where you are give yourself time. Have a happy life, if with your g/f, great if with another woman in time great, if with a man great--just be happy & be true to yourself above all.