How do I know if I'm really a lesbian?

[DVDBear]

One thing to keep in mind is you have time and don't have to make any proclimations to your parents or the world at large right now. If your relationship with this woman continues to grow and you feel she's the partner for you then you can cross that bridge. Ultimately whether you're gay, bi or whatever doesn't matter . . . . . it's who you end up loving and sharing your life.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by DVDBear

One thing to keep in mind is you have time and don't have to make any proclimations to your parents or the world at large right now. If your relationship with this woman continues to grow and you feel she's the partner for you then you can cross that bridge. Ultimately whether you're gay, bi or whatever doesn't matter . . . . . it's who you end up loving and sharing your life.

Yeap, not something you want to jump into and don't want to cork out at the family picnic. Be sure and wait it out for a while. One of my friends, her mom said she could accept it, invited everyone for dinner, I was asked to join for the evening. Instead of a family celebration, I felt like I was sitting at the dinner table eating poison.

Other's do just fine since they have a realization of the truth all along.

[CrazyJenny]

Yeah, I'm glad I have some time. Although, won't my parents notice that I'm not dating men? My mother has already made comments like "She never did find any boys in high school, did she?" Maybe they suspect, but it won't change what I do.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by CrazyJenny

Yeah, I'm glad I have some time. Although, won't my parents notice that I'm not dating men? My mother has already made comments like "She never did find any boys in high school, did she?" Maybe they suspect, but it won't change what I do.

I would think they have suspicions...I am sure they have noticed you are not dating men....rule don't ask & don't tell. Just say have not found the kind of man who is of interest to you. End of story.

[BTDTWoman]

Originally Posted by CrazyJenny

As for my parents, my concern isn't for them or their feelings, it's just that I have a strong fear that they will reject me. And rejection would mean being cut off from the family, and eventually not inheriting. I know it sounds selfish, but that's the way it is.

The inheritance does matter. That's not selfish, it's self-preservation, especially for lesbians who as women earn less than men and have to support themselves for life without the cushion of a male income in the household.

My working class parents didn't have enough material wealth for me to worry about losing an inheritance when I came out. But I have known a gay man and a lesbian who both came from fabulously wealthy parents, and they were written out of the will soon after they came out. When their parents died, they got nothing.

If I had such fabulously wealthy parents, I might just rent a gay boy for the holidays and weddings to insure my inheritance! Depends on how well-furnished you want your closet to be, I suppose.

I agree with all the other posters that is a good idea to take as much time as you need before coming out. It's best to first feel secure, comfortable, and confident about your sexual identity before you share it with family and others who may reject you.

Hugs for you!

[sera300]

BTDT:

Any woman has those concerns...depending on making it yourself & not relying on anyone ensures the best future.