Gay or bi . . . are you out to others?

[DVDBear]

Very good points, Oberon. Welcome back!

[oberon]

Thanks, DVDBear.

[SweetJamieLee]

Well, to come out is to have the courage to potentially limit.

So I admire anyone, gay or bi that has the courage to come out. I also respect those who do not.

Because the world does not understand. It is more tolerant of gays than of bi's.

It is more turned on by bi's, yet it judges them more harsly. It's a two edged sword, talking though two sides of the mouth. That's a fact.

[oberon]

Good points, Sweet Jamie Lee.

I'll admit that just because I'm a gay man that doesn't mean that I understand bisexuals or transgendered people. While I AM accepting of both that doesn't mean that I automatically understand what they are going through or their feelings.

I'll also admit that as a gay man I would be very hesitant to become involved with a bisexual man. I could deal with a "one night stand" situation, but I don't think that I'd be comfortable in a relationship. I'd always feel that there was a part of his desire that I could not fulfill. I'm not very big on sharing a person I'm involved with so I would not be happy with an open relationship.

This is another reason that it is important for gay and bisexual people to be out and open about who they are. Honesty in a relationship is too important and when people aren't honest they end up hurting someone.

[DVDBear]

Originally Posted by oberon

I'll admit that just because I'm a gay man that doesn't mean that I understand bisexuals or transgendered people. While I AM accepting of both that doesn't mean that I automatically understand what they are going through or their feelings.

I do a lot of volunteer work with a gay rights group where I live, and interact with transgender people a fair amount. Honestly, it's an odd situation . . . . politically, it makes every sense that the movement be "GLBT" but otherwise it's a bit like throwing apples in with oranges. The needs, challenges and roadblocks trans people face are significantly different than gay or bi folks. And by being lumped together it makes explaining to straight people who are trying to understand a lot more difficult. There are still a percentage of people that believe all gay guys really "want to be women" or all lesbians guys. And then you throw transvestites into the mix . . . lol.

I have tremendous empathy for the trans community, but I look forward to the day where we can have separate identities in all peoples' eyes and our individual needs can be addressed apart.

[oberon]

I completely understand that, DVDBear.

I've always thought it a bit odd that transgendered people get lumped in with gay and bisexual people. Theirs is NOT an orientation. It's more of a medical situation. I always wonder why people cannot accept the fact that some people have a medical situation where they are not born into the correct gender. I mean, there are physical situations where people have the genitals of both sexes and it's very plain that it is a medical problem. Why not understand that sometimes the brain does not agree with the gender?

Theirs is a VERY different situation than gay and bisexual people. Trust me, I REALLY understand that "All gay men want to be women" misunderstanding. I am gay and I've NEVER want to be a woman. I admire women greatly, but I don't want to be one. I really enjoy being a man... LOL. I just happen to really enjoy being with a man.