Girlfriend is bi

[Akitsa]

Been talking to my girlfriend, turns out she is bisexual and sexually attracted to other woman.

I am really unsure how I feel about this. On one hand, I know logically that it must be different to be attracted to another woman than her attraction for me, and therefore logic separates both scenarios. Her attraction to woman should be completely seperate and unrelated.

On the other hand, does it therefore lessen my importance to her, that she wants to be with another woman as well as being with me?

I told her that right now, i'm probably cool with anything. Just came out of a rather rigid, closed, long term relationship and more than anything, would rather avoid all conflict and complication in this new relationship. Is this the right way to do it?

She said she would never be with another man, as she would consider that cheating... and also, confusingly, she would never be with another woman with whom she felt something deep towards, as that would also be cheating. This leaves me with the idea that if she is with another woman, she is doing so solely for physical pleasure rather than any emotional fulfillment.

I'm really confused. Can anyone bounce some thoughts and ideas off me so I can somehow straighten this all out in my head?

Thanks

[sera300]

She is sexually attracted to both men and women. Why not just get to know her, take sometime, and see how you feel about it? You have to decided if you can live with it or not.

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by Akitsa

she would never be with another woman with whom she felt something deep towards, as that would also be cheating. This leaves me with the idea that if she is with another woman, she is doing so solely for physical pleasure rather than any emotional fulfillment.

I was just about to say something to this effect. I have never been in this situation and can't imagine what I would do either.
But I think this statement is the key. If she does it purely every now and then to have fun is different then having a relationship w/ another woman.

Of course most of the guys here will say that it's awesome and you are a lucky guy! lol
But for some guys, a 3some isn't always what its cracked up to be, and sharing their partner just doesn't turn them on.

Like Sera said, just have to see how it makes you feel.... that way you can know if you want to have something long term w/ her.

[sera300]

Thought of this after, go under "Members List" and look for the user name "Madeye" read some of this threads. His g/f is bi and he had similar questions and they found their relationship okay, last any one knew anyway...

[Browser]

My last three girlfriends have been bi.

Think about this:
If she was straight and single, she'd be looking for men... since she's bi, she'd look for men and women if she was single. If you two are in a closed relationship, then she won't be looking for anyone; there won't be a difference.

[nottooblushing]

I am bi, and I have said this before. I am attracted to people. I am with a person and that is the relationship. Just because I like women doesn't mean I need to be with a woman on the side. My fiance is white, I happen to be attracted to Somoan men, this does not mean I have a somoan lover on the side. To say that someone who is bisexual isn't cheating because "I'm a man and she cheated with a woman" is like saying "But honey you're a blonde and I cheated with a redhead, it doesn't count as cheating."
Bi-sexual is a misleading term, it does not mean I have dual sexualities, it means I happen to be attracted to both genders. I would tend to say I am attracted to people and gender is not a deciding factor. Just like blondes or redheads isn't a factor for most people.

[Beans518]

I agree with blushing. I'm bi and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 6yrs.in july. Regardless if she's bi or not if she's in a committed relationship then that's how it should be. If you are not into "sharing" your S.O. then the only thing you can do is tell her straight out that you won't tolerate cheating with anyone. Since she already pretty much told you that she wouldn't cheat with either sex,you have nothing to worry about. It's a new relationship stop stressing the little thngs and sit back and enjoy the ride and see where it takes you.

[Brandye]

I am a bi- woman and so is my partner. For much of my life I was one way or the other for a few years at a time. Now we each need a little male outlet once in a while. Neither of us have ever divulged this to male partners. None of their business. If I were to marry (or if Eva were to marry again), that would be it and the outside interests would have to be gone - I think. I could not live that lie and would not discuss it with him. Eva and I have known one another since we bagan school and there are no secrets because she is another woman and we have been friends so long.

[Laika]

Originally Posted by Browser

My last three girlfriends have been bi.

Think about this:
If she was straight and single, she'd be looking for men... since she's bi, she'd look for men and women if she was single. If you two are in a closed relationship, then she won't be looking for anyone; there won't be a difference.

exactly. I am a bi myself and I have been with both men and women. Only one at the same time - it is cheating otherwise. You may not have any feelings, just physical attraction, but men or women, sleeping with them or doing other sexual interaction is cheating.

[alban lusitanae]

Side note: never imagined there were so many bi-women in here

She is physically atracted to both men and women. But she still remains mentally loyal. Now, the only thing you have to worry about is: if she does want, once in a while, to satisfy a physical need for women, both of you should attempt not to share each other with the other woman, but actually share the other woman between yourselves if everybody agrees of course. Thus you can get involved as well.

Problem is, partner change, specially among women (Brandye correct me if I'm wrong) can have higher risks of STD treansference, because there are more people involved and, for what I know of W-W sex, contraceptive measures are difficult to employ (Brandye is going to kick my butt on this one, no doubt...)