Performance ?

[britestar]

I've been with my partner since last summer. We met a few years ago in college. We now live together. We both have jobs. We are happy together except I have a question. He never gets an erection. He gets them if he jacks off or if I do things to him but I never see him with one. When we get it on the only way he gets hard is if I make him or he jacks off. My question is why doesn't my man get hard when around me or when he's by himself? We're both 26.

Sex is great but another question for you is why he doesn't get into it when we get it on? He doesn't sweat, moan, or do any of the things I do when I'm turned on. He says he has great and he likes doing it and does me great so liking it isn't a problem. Do you know what is? After I get him hard he'll cum but he just lays there all the time and it just kind of runs out. He doesn't act like there is anything wrong with him but I don't know.

He likes seeing me when I get a boner and last Sunday it happened when I was getting dressed and he walked over and we started having sex. He never seems to get hard in the morning either but we sometimes have sex then too if we have the time. I'm worried that there is something not right with him not getting boners except when we make them happen. Any ideas?

[oberon]

If you are worried about ED (erectile dysfunction), then the best answer I can give is educate yourself about it. [You]Check out the information (lots of info on the web), see if he has the symptoms and then talk to a doctor. Most cases of ED are treatable.

HOWEVER...

Be very careful broaching this subject with him. The easiest way to cause psychological erection problems is to plant the idea. I'm not a doctor and I don't know your partner, but I do know that ALL men have different levels of and reactions to arousal. I, myself, don't usually spring into an erection immediately. Sometimes, yes... but not usually. This may simply be your partner's natural sexual response.

[DVDBear]

I don't think erectile dysfunction is the problem problem since he can get hard. Actually your situation sounds similar to mine . . . . I'm "ever ready Freddy" and get hard at the drop of a hat, while my partner needs a little "encouragement". After I work him a bit he gets there and usually maintains it to orgasm. In our case I chalk some of it up to the fact we've been together 13 years, so it's not unreasonable to think the familiarity blunts the excitement somewhat. At first I was a little insecure and felt I wasn't sexually exciting to him anymore, but I got past it. He swears up and down he loves the sex, and as long as it's all working I've got no complaints.

You might want to discuss the situation further with him, but honestly it doesn't sound like it's causing significant problems. If he's getting hard eventually and seems to be enjoying himself he's probably just wired that way and you're most likely in good shape.