Help regarding bi-curious

[tomreed25]

My girlfriend and I are deeply in love, we are very close and very intimate. Recently she came forward with a slight secret that she might be bicurious or bisexual. I was sort of taken back by this, I would never have expected it and its shocked me some what. I realised that I might not have handled what she told me in the best possible matter. To be fair, i am not comfortable with it and trying to put a brave face on doesn't really help, although i want her to be happy. We brought up the possibility of a threesome, she told me that she doesnt want to get involved because the sight of me being with another girl would hurt her and that she wouldnt be able to stand it, and I am the same way. However I was thinking, would this curiousity only get more and more worse or substantial if she lets it grow? I am worried that it might put a strain on our relationship, question is should I be. What would people do if they were in my position?

Many thanks.

[Brandye]

It is estimated that nearly 30% of all married women have at least one same sex encounter. Based on the number of questions I get, many of us are at least bi-curious. For the record, I am actively bi-.

Talk it out. From what you have said, you cannot live the secrets that would be involved without a clear understanding

[sera300]

I believe you have to step back and allow her to decide what she is feeling (bi-curious or bi-sexual) don't interfere it's hard for her too. If this is not acceptable (her being bi) to you then you need to really understand, be certain about your feelings, and end the relationship. If it is, many people have successful relationships under similar circumstances. You have to know if you are willing to live with this but give her room to figure it out first and talk openly about it before you do anything--be clear and be certain. My first husband, I found out after we were married was bi, he wished to engage in sex w/his s.o. but also did not want to end the marriage. I could not live with it, I ended the marriage, we parted as friends. Some people can accept both lifestyles successfully, I cannot in my own relationships. I wish he had been honest w/me before we married, I would have been able to make an informed decision. It was one of the hardest things to do, leave the marriage, we remain very close friends and he is now open about his sexuality; he has a girlfriend who accepts his lifestyle, and he resides w/his boyfriend of 20 years. It was just not for me.

[foxdan]

tough one i think what sera300 said is good advice and good enough for me

[betelgeuse_5]

Hi, I've been in a similar situation.
I am, myself, bisexual. Yes I fancy both men and women, but I am in a monogamous long term relationship. My boyfriend did let me sleep with a woman "just so I'd know" at the very beginning of the relationship, but he kept changing his mind about whether he was ok with it. He eventually gave me permission and we're ok with it.
We now use it as a aid during sex- dirty talk etc. But it's up to the couple how far it goes- whether it's just a thing to let you both stare at the barmaid, whether its a fantasy thing, or whether it's a menage-a-trois thing. At the end of the day- you're a couple, and talking to each other will definitely help come to terms with it.