Threesome Should It Happen?

[ashley22]

I am a 22 year old female. I have been with my b/f for seven years. We have discussed the threesome idea several times. I think that I might be bi and have wanted to experience sex with another female. Just recently I have brought up the idea again and he says that he will think about it. Isnt this every mans fantasy two be with two females? If this does happen how will it affect "us" afterwards. I love my b/f very much and I dont want anything to come between us.

[fabian_haas]

the trick is to talk to him, to be open with him, tell him how much you care and make a promise with him that no matter what you do with anyone else he will always be your number one. that's what i did with my boyfriend and i have had several girl friends to play around with but he's the only pearson that i truely love. just make sure he understands and feels the same, and then u can expiriment all you like as long as it's cool with him.

[McKay]

Ashley

Are you emotionally prepared for it. If he loves you and is happy together with you and has not brought up the subject then dont bring it up. From his response "I'll think about it", I feel that he's not ready to share you.

Its not always a guys fantasy to have sex with two girls the same time

[curious_woman]

My fiance and I would love to try a 3 sum. I'm bi and well he's one of those guys who used to fantasize about two girls all over him, even did it once before me...but we are simply too possessive of each other. We both found out that having a three-some with someone you love isn't as easy as with 2 random people. Don't force him into it, or you'll jeopardize your relationship.

[Alexandra]

If I were going to try and have a threesome, while in a serious relationship (witch I have thought about, but would never do), here are some things I think would help it go smoothly:

1. Hire a professional: That way you can be fairly sure, that the third party is not interested in pursuing something more than sex. Most people I know that have had threesomes, have done it with a friend, which potentially can ruin two relationships.
2. Go away: Go on vacation or even drive a few hours to a motel. That way if things go badly (or even if they don't) you can literally leave the situation behind you. You don't want to imagine your sweetheart f-ing someone else, every time you see your couch.
3. Have rules: The more specific the better! Go through every scenario, you can think of. You don't want to find your self shocked and hurt when, lets say, your sweetie is doing something that you won't do, with someone else.
4. Don't commit: Agree that ether one of you, at any time can back out, and be backed up by the other.

[Engage!]

I wouldn't risk it, but that's just my POV. I've had the opportunity to have a threesome and I've turned it down. It doesn't seem right, because sex is really an act between two people. Besides, if you are willing to share your partner it means that the commitment between you isn't really that strong. In my experience, the best relationships are exclusive ones. Besides that, your bf doesn't sound like he's thrilled about the idea. And btw, it's not "every man's dream," although I'm sure that many men would love to do it. I myself would never, ever, want to share my wife.

[Brandye]

There are dozens of threads on threesomes. Read a bit. If you think you are bi-, then have a date with a woman. With a threesome going on, you will not develop much insight into yourself.

[BTDTWoman]

Originally Posted by Engage!

I wouldn't risk it, but that's just my POV. I've had the opportunity to have a threesome and I've turned it down. It doesn't seem right, because sex is really an act between two people. Besides, if you are willing to share your partner it means that the commitment between you isn't really that strong. In my experience, the best relationships are exclusive ones. Besides that, your bf doesn't sound like he's thrilled about the idea. And btw, it's not "every man's dream," although I'm sure that many men would love to do it. I myself would never, ever, want to share my wife.

I have found that the most committed couples are the ones who most enjoy a threesome. And I like sex and relationships best in threes.

I am polyamorous and bisexual. My ideal relationship is not being half of a couple, but being a third of a triad with a man and another woman. Being in a couple for me feels as "wrong" as being in a triad would feel to you. (Love and let love.)

When I am the third party playing casually with a heterosexual couple, I always check in with the woman alone to make sure she really wants to do a threesome and is not being coerced by her husband or boyfriend into doing something she doesn't want to do. Too often a man will put his wife or girlfriend into the position of soliciting a "lesbian" experience she doesn't want for herself. "Oh, by the way, do you mind if my husband watches us? He's a really nice guy." I find this approach sleazy and unfair to both women.

I have been surprised by how incredibly loving some couples can be toward one another during a threesome. They genuinely want their partner to experience this special pleasure and they are not threatened by the third party's role and presence. Without question, the threesome experience can strengthen a couple's relationship.

However, if I were the monogamous couple type like Ashley seems to be, I would set firm rules about the role of the third party. For example, absolutely no sexual or social contact between your man and the third party when you are not present. Insist on always being the primary communicator with the third party. And if at any point you feel uncomfortable or threatened by the third party or the threesome, or if you find yourself feeling romantically attracted to the third party, you have the right to stop the action. In other words, negotiate the rules before diving headfirst into a threesome.

[sera300]

That is pretty interesting.

[BTDTWoman]

Whooops! I just reread my post and Ashley's post and realized that I was reflecting more on Engage!'s post than responding to Ashley's question. Maybe in your situation, Ashley, your boyfriend should be the one having control of the role of the third party. Also, since you are only 22 and have been with this guy since you were 15, chances are better that bringing in a third party ultimately could be destructive to your relationship. Neither of you have had the chance to "play the field," and adding a third party for sex could stoke that desire in both of you.