A over stated question: could I be Bi?

[Raised by wolves]

ok, Im 18 and I really dont know how to explain this so I will do the best I can, I've been dating girls sense I was 14, I like girls, I like them alot in fact and I know that Im attracted to them but over the past year I have been noticing some odd things, like having homosexual dreams and one situation I made out with a male friend of mine ,who is gay by the way, granted I was alittle drunk but not enough to not know what I was doing and i enjoyed it if you know what i mean.

So my question is: does this make me Bi?

the thought of being Bi doesn't bother me, I have known gay men and wemon for all of my life, in fact my mother writes Gay Erotica and is currently writing a Broke back mountian parady called "tainted evidence" and I have asked her about it and i get the feeling that she wants me to be gay... hard to bielive i know but its what going on and i have no idea what to do.

any thoughts or opinions?

[Cleveland]

Nothing at all matters here except how you feel about the situation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being straight, bi or gay. It might be a good idea to get some psychological counselling, just to sort out your feelings.

[dancingdoc2]

> over the past year I have been noticing some odd things, like having homosexual dreams

Dreams and/or fantasies are just that. In and of themselves they are harmless erotica that help us build our arousal and also give us something pleasureable to think about during idle times.

> one situation I made out with a male friend of mine ,who is gay by the way, granted I was alittle drunk but not enough to not know what I was doing and i enjoyed it if you know what i mean. So my question is: does this make me Bi?

Here's the deal as I see it: The teen years are years full exploration and discovery. Your adventure with this friend could be catagorized either way. If you want to consider the session as "exploratory" then I would identify the situation as being normal. If you wish to catagorize the situation as "discovery" then at the very least I would classify myself as possibly being Bi-curious.

> i enjoyed it if you know what i mean. So my question is: does this make me Bi?

There is a distinct difference between enjoying titillating activities that both men and women would enjoy, and, being sexually and emotionally attracted to a particular gender. Here are two examples:

E#1: That a person enjoys giving or receiving anal stimulation that might also include the use of dildos or anal intercourse are adventures that both genders can enjoy and therefore does not change a person's sexual orientation.

E#2: If a person is only attracted emotionally and physically by members of the same gender then this makes him/her Gay/Lesbian. If a person is only attracted to members of the opposite gender then s/he is a heterosexual. If a person can become attracted to a person of either gender then s/he is Bi-sexual.

If your adventure with your friend was pleasurable in and of itself yet you are not emotionally and physically attracted to him as an individual then most likely you are just an adventurious and curious hetersexual male. On the other hand, if you find that you are drawn and attracted to members other males, then you would be Bi.

[Sirene]

Originally Posted by dancingdoc2

> over the past year I have been noticing some odd things, like having homosexual dreams



Here's the deal as I see it: The teen years are years full exploration and discovery. Your adventure with this friend could be catagorized either way. If you want to consider the session as "exploratory" then I would identify the situation as being normal. If you wish to catagorize the situation as "discovery" then at the very least I would classify myself as possibly being Bi-curious.

When I was in my teens (Im now 21) I kissed many guys, I thought that maybe I was bi, but after experimenting like that I now know im not, im completely straight. I go to goth clubs though, so that thing is kinda normal in that scene anyway lol.
I have a nice girlfriend though, & I dont kiss men anymore.

[smart_mono]

well. you might just be curious about experimenting with men. if you feel comfortable enough try experimenting with a guy or something. since you don't mind being bi might as wlel give it a try, right?

[browneyedgirl]

There is a continuum of sexualities. That's to say, you don't have to be all gay or all straight or smack dab in the middle bi. You can just enjoy kissing boys sometimes, or just enjoy having sex with boys sometimes but prefer girls, or whatever. And really, whether you call yourself "bi" or not doesn't really matter. Only you can decide whether you want to identify as bi or whether you are bi. If you want to explore relationships with men, great! Otherwise, go on adding some men into your fantasies and keep going out with girls. Whatever floats your boat, as they say.

[Browser]

Originally Posted by Raised by wolves

the thought of being Bi doesn't bother me...

Then does it matter?

[sexybigothchick]

I agree with Browser

but you don't care, why are you asking?

[Openmindedguy]

I think there is a built in expectation in all of us. Many of these expectations are none sexual.........you might expect to get a good career, but end up in something underpaid or dead end.........but its entirely linear in that you only failed to live up to your expectations, so you would be disappointed and frustrated, but your aim is still a priority.

Sexual expectations are far worse.........you expect to be Hetro or Gay (and that is now a reasonably accepted situation, which not long ago would have resulted in electric shocks and cold showers as it was considered un natural and was against the law, even now most religious organisations still reject the idea). But to suddenly find yourself in a no mans land of bi-sexuality is just downright weird. Because each side is both attracted and appalled by the idea of same sex attraction in equal amounts.

I think its worse for men than women. If a guy prefers men over women then there is no real inner conflict except from external sources such as family or religion. But if a guy likes women and competes against other males for the chance to breed (we are talking nature after all), then to find that he is also attracted to the very same sex that he is competing against is very confusing. Do you hit him or suck his cock or both together, should you try and shag his girlfriend or let him shag you.........its a connundrum, so no wonder everyone asks.