Frustration

[Munkiy]

So, My Girlfriend and I have been together for over five years now and for the last three or so, I have suspected that she's bi. She won't own up to it but she seems very attracted to girls and talks about and checks out more women that I did before I met her. I've been wondering what would be the best way to get her to either indulge in her curiosity or turn away from it. It's a source of great frustration to the both of us and sometimes is the cause of fierce arguments that I hate. Any help?

[Caitlain]

Sounds to me like it is more of your desire that she be bisexual than her "owning up to it."

Quit pressuring her. If she is bisexual or bicurious, that is her business, not yours, and you pressuring her is not going to do anything except create anxiety and stress between the two of you (obviously). As long as she's not cheating on you with women, I'm not sure why you feel it is necessary for her to do anything with it.

Sexuality is a very fluid concept - she may be bicurious now, and may feel uncomfortable with the idea, or she may be very comfortable with it, but feel as though it represents a threat to your relationship if she indulged in thinking about it or acting upon it. It may be a phase she's going through, and it will go away at some point, at which time it would become a non-issue.

Regardless, resposition yourself with her so that she knows she can be open with you and trust you about it (I'm sure she doesn't do that now), and allow her to deal with it in her own time frame.