Diliemma

[capricorn]

I am married to a wonderful man and i have been having a strong desire to be with a woman.
she's straight but i have been fatanizing about her for weeks.
this not the first time i have been attracted to a woman.
i'm attracted to men but i don't know it means that i have been attracted to other women.
for years i have but off those feelings as me being misguided or needing to seek more spiritual refugee
i need some advise about what i am feeling
i don't know what to do
should i tell my husband or try and figure out what is going on with me first

[oberon]

I think you need to decide what's going on with yourself before you spring this on your husband. Obviously, with the woman in question, this is just a fantasy. If she's straight, then you have no chance with her. However, if you're feeling like this is something you want to pursue with women in general then you need to discuss it with your husband. It's okay to have fantasies but to act on them requires the cooperation of both partners in a relationship.

[taylor_action]

i have a bit of a similar problem, but i'm not married, and the girl in question keeps eyeing me.
weird.

[capricorn]

i've thought about acting on these feelings for some time before i met her
i don't know what to do
i don't think my husband would be very supportive of what i would have to say

[Rawbob]

Well, teh real issue here is centered on your sexual attraction to a woman. But, i have to ask, in your heart, do you fully enjoy sex with a man - i mean, when u have the need to be intimate and have hot, deep sex - do u see sex with your husband as a means to that or THE source?

As oberon said, there's a huge diffrence between fantasy and acting on that fantasy. There's little doubt that if u were to act on your desire, you could risk your marriage. However, you also have to lookdeep into your heart and think if there's more to this than just wanting to expriment sexually.

Yes, i'm saying that almost all of us who lived the Str8 lifestyle, started to feel the same feelings u are feeling now...that the life we were living was somehow very short and lacking.

You might want to also consider looking for a good sexual counselor.

[capricorn]

i do enjoy having sex with my husband that's not an issue
it's just that for time i have been feeling like something is wrong with me because i have always felt attracted to women
i thought at first it was b/c i was lonely or felt hurt by past relationships
i cannot forget being with the first woman that i was with
i never told my husband or anyone else b/c i thought i was just young and experimenting
but i think about it alot sometimes
there are people who bad mouth being gay or bisexual
and i feel akward around them
they make me feel as if something is wrong with being in love with someone who is the same sex
they say it is wrong and your damned to hell if you do
i feel like i have two people living inside of me and i am only half living
i've horror stories of women who has lost custody of their children b/c their husbands felt they were a bad influence on their kids
i don't know what to do
everyday i look in the mirror and i see two people living inside one body
and the other half of me trying to come out but she can't b/c of the consequences
i keep feeling like i am going to live a lie for rest of my life
i enjoy with men as i do with women

[Brandye]

Caution: I have been actively bi-sexual since I was sixteen and that was a while ago.

Recent research has shown that up to a third of all married women have a same sex liaison occasionally. It seems that these realationships are becoming a bit more common than we ever anticipated. Those who describe themselves as "Bi-curious" probably put the figure over one-half of all women would like to give it a try or feel as you do. The social risks are about the same as having an affair. You may find you like being with someone else better than your husband or discovery may cause family embarassment. The incidence of STDs is lower and there is no chance or pregnancy. And there is no need to douche as soon as you get home.

Married women with a "g/f" tend to not be as promiscuous as men. I guess all I am saying that you are completely normal, experiencing questions that many women experience.

What you do about that is up to you and you alone.