Ever wanted to ask a gay person a question..

[uponhereyes]

someone asked if you need to come out if you're bisexual. The fact is you only need to come out about something if you're intending to pursue it. A gay person doesn't need to come out if they are never intending to be in a sexual relationship. Telling a straight sexual partner that you're bi is because either you want them to allow you to cheat with same sex partners or you want to have a three way, or I guess if you don't want to share a bed with his cousin at the ski resort. The fact is sexual orientation is sexual, it shouldn't effect any non-sex part of your life (it's just the bigots that like to do that)

[lustforlove]

ok i have one question, say your experimenting with friends and you kiss someone who is of the same sex as you and really enjoyed it does that mean you are either gay or bi? becuase i was hanging with this girl who i think is very attractive and kissed her once and really enjoyed it and strted feeling quite horny but i have a boyfriend and find guys really attractive to, does this mean i'm bi?

[DVDBear]

Originally Posted by uponhereyes

someone asked if you need to come out if you're bisexual. The fact is you only need to come out about something if you're intending to pursue it. A gay person doesn't need to come out if they are never intending to be in a sexual relationship. Telling a straight sexual partner that you're bi is because either you want them to allow you to cheat with same sex partners or you want to have a three way, or I guess if you don't want to share a bed with his cousin at the ski resort. The fact is sexual orientation is sexual, it shouldn't effect any non-sex part of your life (it's just the bigots that like to do that)

I know what you're getting at, but can't say I agree with all of it. First up, unless you're asexual you're probably going to want to have sex . . . sometime! . . . . with another person. I basically did what you're talking about until I was 39 . . . I was celibate and even though I knew I was gay didn't tell anyone. Then I kinda exploded from the pressure. lol It's not a healthy way to handle your sexuality and I wouldn't recommend it. Bi-sexuality is more complicated, but if you feel it's a strong component of your sexual identity then it's better to deal with it than suppress it. If you're going to be covert with your partner it leaves you two options . . . . tell them much later in the relationship when they're probably going to feel a little betrayed you weren't honest earlier or cheat on them. Either option has the potential to be very damaging. If your "bi-sexuality" is really more of an occasional fantasy you probably will never act on then no, there's no reason to rock the boat.

I'd also say being gay isn't just about sex with someone of your own gender. It would be great if it was as transparent as that, but because of all the prejudice and misconceptions if you're "out", or living in a gay relationship with someone it can get quite involved in ways that straight relationships do not. At the moment it's part of the price you pay in not hiding and being who you are, sadly.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by uponhereyes

someone asked if you need to come out if you're bisexual. The fact is you only need to come out about something if you're intending to pursue it. A gay person doesn't need to come out if they are never intending to be in a sexual relationship. Telling a straight sexual partner that you're bi is because either you want them to allow you to cheat with same sex partners or you want to have a three way, or I guess if you don't want to share a bed with his cousin at the ski resort. The fact is sexual orientation is sexual, it shouldn't effect any non-sex part of your life (it's just the bigots that like to do that)

Telling a straight partner is for many reasons not because you want a threesome or to cheat. It has to do with attraction, emotions, and lifestyle. Yes, before you engage in sex with anyone this is an important "fact" which you owe and explanation to a person for. My reasons? Much like & dislike DVDbear's. My first husband decided to spring it on me after we were married, it's not something a person just suppresses, it's so much more then you are insinuating, he did not give me an option of making an informed choice; furthermore, he was not satisfied in a relationship (sexually nor emotionally) with either sex for any period of time.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by lustforlove

ok i have one question, say your experimenting with friends and you kiss someone who is of the same sex as you and really enjoyed it does that mean you are either gay or bi? becuase i was hanging with this girl who i think is very attractive and kissed her once and really enjoyed it and strted feeling quite horny but i have a boyfriend and find guys really attractive to, does this mean i'm bi?

Maybe bi-curious? Either way, if it's a sexual issue/question/interest then I believe you owe it to yourself and whomever is in your life to find an answer. I am a straight woman, have no sexual interest, not one ounce (sorry no offense here to anyone); if I did then I would find an answer for myself. Given this I say you need to explore. Heck if I was bi, maybe I would have more opportunities to date really nice people!

[waliiid]

thanksssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

[waliiid]

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[Dawn80]

Um...can I ask ANY question????? I hope I don't offend anyone, though eh?
Do all gay guys like bum-sex....do some of them prefer NOT to have bum-sex? I would think some gay guys could not do the whole bum thing for the same reasons that a lot of women can not do it. (pain).
Anyway, hope I didn't offend anyone...but you said you wanted questions!

[Dawn80]

Oh, and one more......why do women always refer to the "token gay guy"....what does that mean? Why does anyone care whether their friends are gay or not??? I'm not sure I understand this one....and why do some women cling to gay guys like that??? (as a friend).

[DVDBear]

Originally Posted by Dawn80

Um...can I ask ANY question????? I hope I don't offend anyone, though eh?
Do all gay guys like bum-sex....do some of them prefer NOT to have bum-sex? I would think some gay guys could not do the whole bum thing for the same reasons that a lot of women can not do it. (pain).
Anyway, hope I didn't offend anyone...but you said you wanted questions!

Nothing asked in good faith offends. You're absolutely right; there are many gay guys who don't enjoy receiving anal for that reason and others. And some guys like oral only, don't like anything to do with anal. It's really no different than the straight world in that there are tons of variations. Personally I love it though.

I'm not sure I understand your second question. I hear that term ("token gay guy") sometimes and I guess it's supposed to suggest all women have at least one gay male friend. I dunno . . . . I have lots of women friends, gay and straight and lots of men friends, gay and straight. You're right . . . someone's sexuality can add or change a dynamic of the friendship but I can't I can't think of ANY that are based purely on the fact I'm gay.