Ever wanted to ask a gay person a question..

[Beans518]

If you think you are bi-sexual, Do you need to come out? Reading one of the other post made me wonder.I mean I've had sexual experiences with females and I have always found them sexually arousing,but I don't know if I consider myself bi-sexual. Would that make me bi-sexual? Is there a double standard to being gay, a lesbian and bi-sexual. Where I'm from it seems like it's more accepting to be bi-sexual than just "plain" gay.Is that true or is it just my thinking? to be one or the other do you have to constantly "practice" it?

[DVDBear]

Labels can be a real trap. You are what you think you are. If you've had one or two homosexual encounters but feel it's unlikely you'll ever do it again then you're a straight person who's had a few gay encounters. You can also be a bi-sexual who's primarily straight. It's what you feel comfortable with. You're only in denial if you're like Ted Haggard, having gay sex for years while vehmently denouncing it. Oh that's right . . . . he's "cured" now.

[Beans518]

Oh no, I would do it again if given the opportunity. I guess I don't consider myself bi-sexual because I have children and am engaged(to a man). He knows my sexual history and is not worried about it. I have never worried about what my family and friends thought about it. One of my friends asked me how could I kiss a girl or let one kiss me let alone lick her there or have her lick me, my response to that was that it(sex) felt good to me no matter who(male or female) I had it with. So should I consider myself bi?

[sera300]

Hey Beans:

I think it does. I can tell you as a straight female I can look at a woman and see she looks attractive, or has a nice shape (usually b/c I am jealous!) but I have no urge or thought to engage in a physical relationship with her. I am not physically attracted to women.

I know my ex-husband did not consider himself bi years ago(he was married and wanted to begin a family) but he was very much attracted to his male friend who's now his partner. He goes between sex w/men & women and is not satisfied with just one sex partner.

Hope this helps!

[Beans518]

It does. I am in a committed relationship with my fiancee. I don't act on my physical attraction to women because of it. I also don't have a desire to be in a committed relationship with a female. I think I just like the idea of sex.While I have nothing against p***y, I like it actually; I love penetration with a (real) penis more. I know I have issues. I wish I could have explored this side of me more.I guess that it is so puzzeling to me because I have never given it much thought, it has been just what I did for so long.I had my first sexual experience with a female at the age of 11 and with a guy at 13. I never gave it much thought as to if I was bi-sexual. Where I'm from if you are a female and bi it just doesn't matter.

[sera300]

Beans:

See that was where my ex had no control. He wanted to stay married yet have his then "friend" move in with us (his friend was moving back from another state). He was happy having a committed relationship with emotional attachments with both. Later he took up with his "friend" and he became his partner.

It's funny, I ran into him the other night, he was out w/his partner but also had a new girlfriend with him. Both he & his partner split several times over the past 20+ years since I divorced him, both of them tried to date women and have married women along the way, they get divorced, go back together. This has been a cycle for as I said 20+ years? Last I had known he was exclusively w/his partner but I guess that changed again. He has been married 4 times & his partner 3. He has had children w/2 of these women. He had a great deal of difficulty accepting his gay tendencies and would get drinking and take up occasionally with other men.

The sad part, his family expected him to be straight (so did his co-workers--he's a cop) so he tried hard to live a straight life and would become very unhappy. After his parents died, he began to become open about his life.

Are you sure you will be happy strictly w/a man? I know you have made your fiance aware of your past relationships, have you discussed your feelings with him? And does he accept it? I ask for one reason; my ex never told me before we married. Do I blame him? No, I just feel he owed me the truth so I could decide what was best for me and what I could accept before I married him. I place blame on his family for making him feel the only way to be "normal" was to be straight; therefore, he tried to live up to everyone else's expectations of what is "normal" rather then accepting his true feelings. This is one ( and only one) reason I believe if society was more accepting of a gay or bi lifestyle, forcing their definition of normal only causes emotional harm and hurt to the individual and those who love them. Do I know he loved me? Yes, I never doubted it. He tried to live by everyone's expectations rather then accept him for who he was. It hurt me but has tormented him for so many years.

I don't know your relationship with your man but always be open and honest; moreover, explore your feelings before you marry. Be fair to first yourself and then to him (not saying your not)...just my two cents from experience and from what you wrote you have not explored these feelings to really understand them. YOU have to be happy and I hope this helps either you or someone else along the way !

[Beans518]

he knows. I've always have been truthful about this other side of me.He tries to help me out with this by getting a flick(porn) that he knows has women in it he knows I'll find attractive. I am very happy with him and am content with my fantasies of women.

[JERSEYSPLASH]

Hello Buddy

Though I Love My Gay Guys,i Like Straight Guys Sexually. So I Have Decided To Marry With A Beautiful And Sexy Girl,so I Could Find Str8 Guy. Is That A Good Decision?

[Orow]

Originally Posted by JERSEYSPLASH

Hello Buddy

Though I Love My Gay Guys,i Like Straight Guys Sexually. So I Have Decided To Marry With A Beautiful And Sexy Girl,so I Could Find Str8 Guy. Is That A Good Decision?

If a guy is straight, he won't sleep with you. If he sleeps with you, chances are that he's not straight.

That paradox can probably never be solved.

[Rawbob]

Ok, time to "reset" here folks!

Being gay or straight is ALL about LOVE! You have to look in your heart and REALLY SEE which sex do you really know will make u whole!

Please do not limit the discuss of bi/gay/str8 to what we do with our genitals!

I am gay, i was married for 12 years, i have a 17 year old son, i've been in a gay LTR for 10 years, i have had sex with men and women - but i KNOW i will only be fully who i am with a man (my husband).

Yes, i've had sex with women since "coming out"..why? becusae sex is sex - it feels good....it does NOT define who i am as a person!

Please keep that in mind as you post to this thread!

Hugs

Bob