Ever wanted to ask a gay person a question..

[DVDBear]

LOL!! Thanks!

[machine_rat]

Several years ago a good friend of mine who came out, I wasn't angry or disappointed... I was just a little surprised because I never would have guessed. Almost immediatly after that his personality changed along with his interests. It was depressing how quickly we grew apart after that, considering we were pretty close friends for years.

My question is that is that while feigning the hetero life, do gay people tend to hide a lot more than just their sexual preferences, like other little things they find appealing? Or is there a need to reinvent themselves?

[DVDBear]

Originally Posted by machine_rat

My question is that is that while feigning the hetero life, do gay people tend to hide a lot more than just their sexual preferences, like other little things they find appealing? Or is there a need to reinvent themselves?

Sometimes it can be one or the other or both, Machine. When someone comes out a lot of things open up to them, not just sexually. He has probably met a lot of gay people and found the freedom of being able to express himself in ways he couldn't before very compelling. He might be exploring bars, clubs, groups and other activities he wouldn't allow himself to in the past. It's a complicated process and stirs up all kinds of self examination that can change a person's perspective on his past environment and circle of friends.

I can't comment on your friend, but I know for myself I drifted away from some people, stayed close with others. I had found situations where the relationship was based on needs that weren't being met in ways they would have if I had been out. Those I sort of let fall apart.

But also people move on, and maybe it was coincidental timing. You two may have drifted apart even if he had stayed closeted. Coming out doesn't so much change you as make you more honest with yourself about who you really are.

Hope this helps.

[machine_rat]

Thanks, that confirms some of the things that I had considered.

At the very bottom of my 'reasons' list was a belief that he shunned me because he would never have me.

[chibacochoke]

i recently came out as bisexual to a few close friends, none of my close girl friends though (still workin on that).

it's odd how when you allow yourself to feel what's always been there you start to think your friends are pretty cute. it made me look at a girl friend of mine in a whole new light. she's so damn cute!

that being said, i do feel both refreshed and empowered and terrified and alone all at the same time. it's the craziest thing i've ever admitted to.

i'm still shaky cause it was so recent, but a german exchange student named martina i met at a party made it all worth it.

[shaved bi]

Welcome to the bisexual world! I have been a bisexual nudist for many years and love it. Being bi, you get the best of both worlds.