Hey, everyone. This is my first post, so yeah... just thought I'd point that out for no reason.
Anyway, my girlfriend and I will have been dating for 16 months on November 29th, and I love that girl to pieces. We have a fantastic relationship that's surviving college and the whole long distance thing really well. We started dating the summer before our senior year in high school and are still very strong in our committment and such.
So, we didn't rush into it, but when we finally started having oral sex I generally didn't have problems getting her off unless she was stressed. In which case she would generally put more pressure on herself to come instead of just enjoying it. I'm usually down on her for the better part of an hour. I honestly don't mind being down there that long. In fact, I LOVE going down on her, but when it gets to an hour it gets kind of frustrating at times, but I try not to let it show since it would just increase her pressure on herself.
The last two times we've had oral sex have been when we've visited eachother at college, and I wasn't able to make her come this time around. She keeps blaming herself and I keep reminded her not to put pressure on herself and just to let it happen.
I do everything for this girl and I don't mind in the least. I love doing everything possible for her in every meaning of the word, not just sexually by any stretch. I'm just concerned that if I don't perform well then things might start to fall apart. She's not in this for the sex at all and it surely would be a non issue for her if I suddenly couldn't perform anymore. It's just a fear of mine.
I've read all the forums and the tips and suggestions, but is there anything else you guys could suggest? Thanks!
have u talked 2 her? x
Ask her what you can do to make things better.
Hi, welcome to the forum :)
I'm also in college and in a long-distance relationship. From my experience, I always think that as soon as I see my boyfriend again, I'm going to jump on him and give and receive the most fabulous orgasms of our lives, but in reality reunion sex is often not as good as the time after. Especially when I've been apart from my boyfriend for an extended period (more than 2 weeks, let's say), seeing him again and the whole travel/reunion experience throws off my emotions and focus.
Something similar may be happening to your girlfriend. If so, it will most likely help if you try again with her the day after you guys actually meet. If she's like me, in general the less hyped she is about the actual reunion/sex aspect and the more she is a bit re-acclimated to how it is for you to be together, the more she will be able to relax.
To answer the first two, yes we talk. Communication is the key for us. If you read my post it says that she claims it's all her fault. Like I said, she's putting unnecessary pressure on herself.
I think possibly waiting until the next day might be best. I'll talk to her about that and see what she thinks. We generally go a month without seeing each other and it's really hard on the both of us, yet it makes us stronger because we learn to get past these obstacles.
Devote more time to making out and not so much time to oral stimulation. I believe you will discover that by spending time kissing and caressing the rest of her body that you will excite her and arouse her more and once this has happened you can peak her arousal with some oral stimulation that does not go on for an hour! Over all, this is not a long time yet you need to adjust your ratio of what is being done so that your time and attentions are more evenly distributed.
Okay, thank you. That makes a lot of sense because when we finally do have sex, it is usually day two during the times that she visits me. Day one we make out more when we're alone, but the night of day two seems to be devoted, at first, to sex. So I'll take your advice and try and blend the two together. Thanks so much!