My boyfriend and I are paranoid about the potential for a pregnancy in the future. Neither of us want children because both of us have some serious genetic problems that could cause some very serious problems in a child. Therefore, we have both chosen to never have children. I am on the IUD but he still panics sometimes when we have sex because he's afraid of children. This, of course, affects our sex life a little because of his anxiety about it. What can we do to reduce this anxiety?
Wed, 05/11/2011 - 05:32
#1
He's paranoid about pregnancy and so am I
Wear a condom?
You said in a previous post you were single but had a bf? Doesn't that counteract the "singleness"?
If neither want kids then just use a condom.
Once you are married he can have a vasectomy which is actually safer in terms of health. Women having their tubes tied can have many issues.
[QUOTE=Ducy;268655]Wear a condom?
You said in a previous post you were single but had a bf? Doesn't that counteract the "singleness"?
If neither want kids then just use a condom.
Once you are married he can have a vasectomy which is actually safer in terms of health. Women having their tubes tied can have many issues.[/QUOTE]
We want to use condoms each time but he says he doesn't feel anything when we do. He even wants to use them so it's not that he doesn't want to use them. It's just that they're not sensitive enough for him.
We're also planning to use Spermicide.
If he doesn't want to have kids then he really needs to look into a vasectomy. Then he won't have any worries and neither will you. Then no need for a condom but until then try putting a tiny bit of lube inside the condom. And we discussed it earlier and women can have a bad reaction to spermicide because of a nonoxyl-9 I think it was.
[QUOTE=big916;268661]If he doesn't want to have kids then he really needs to look into a vasectomy. Then he won't have any worries and neither will you. Then no need for a condom but until then try putting a tiny bit of lube inside the condom. And we discussed it earlier and women can have a bad reaction to spermicide because of a nonoxyl-9 I think it was.[/QUOTE]
Well, he's uninsured at this time and so he wouldn't be able to afford it.
Perhaps the type of condom could help?
The Condomerie in Amsterdam has classified its entire assortment of tested condoms in a measurement system, called: [url=http://www.condomerie.com/webshop/casindex_uitleg.php]CAS.
This gives the circumference, length and thickness of each condom. This really comes in handy when looking for a better fit! :)
And not every woman responds bad to spermicides; a lot do not: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/birth-control-stds-sexual-disorders/2903...
Hope he gets insurance soon. It seems the best solution for him.
[QUOTE=RedRoses;268665]Perhaps the type of condom could help?
The Condomerie in Amsterdam has classified its entire assortment of tested condoms in a measurement system, called: CAS.
This gives the circumference, length and thickness of each condom. This really comes in handy when looking for a better fit! :)
And not every woman responds bad to spermicides; a lot do not: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/birth-control-stds-sexual-disorders/2903...
Hope he gets insurance soon. It seems the best solution for him.[/QUOTE]
Thanks RedRoses!
Well, I bought some vaginal contraceptive foam so I think this will help alleviate his fears. Plus, we keep condoms on hand too so if he wants, we can use a condom as well.
You really want protection? Then he gets a vasectomy and you get a tubal ligation. Money a problem? Stop vaginal sex.
We women recognize that any time a penis enters a vagina, pregnancy is possible. Maturity is acceptance of that fact and the ability to not become overly stressed about it. We should always know what we shall do when the period does not arrive. Time for him to "woman up" and develop that same maturity. The alternative is wanting sex and then being worried about doing it.
[QUOTE=Brandye;268673]You really want protection? Then he gets a vasectomy and you get a tubal ligation. Money a problem? Stop vaginal sex.
We women recognize that any time a penis enters a vagina, pregnancy is possible. Maturity is acceptance of that fact and the ability to not become overly stressed about it. We should always know what we shall do when the period does not arrive. Time for him to "woman up" and develop that same maturity. The alternative is wanting sex and then being worried about doing it.[/QUOTE]
This is true. I think I will encourage him to get a vasectomy. Unfortunately, he has no health insurance so it will be difficult for him to afford one.
well according to a search i just did they range from 500 to 1000 dollars. so figure out a budget to save that up, just as if it were an emergency car fund. eat rice and beans for a while. do whatever.
[QUOTE=big916;268712]well according to a search i just did they range from 500 to 1000 dollars. so figure out a budget to save that up, just as if it were an emergency car fund. eat rice and beans for a while. do whatever.[/QUOTE]
Well, that may not happen any time soon because he has a bill from an ER visit last year that he hasn't got paid off completely yet.
Do oral sex and always swallow. That's what I do. No cum ever gets anywhere near downstairs. But in our case neither one of us enjoys or gets anything out of penetrative type sex, so this works out very well for both of us.