I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months now. We both came from bad marriages where sex was taboo. I have been divorced for 2 years, and I played the field a little. We are both attractive, professional 33 year olds, and we absolutely have an open, honest sexual relationship. We have tried just about everything that 2 people can do together; we've even talked about bringing another female into the picture because my lover has been with a few girls when she was younger.
Here is my question. I have been able to get my partners off in the past relatively easy. However, with my girlfriend it's a struggle. This is something that she has struggled with for sometime (not just with me). I am very patient and I would do anything to please her. Oral sex is no problem, and we use toys regularly (vibrators, dildo’s and oils). I’ve tried messaging her first with extended foreplay, dressing her up in school girl outfits, and leather boots, we’ve tried rough sex with slapping and name calling, I’m just getting so frustrated that she can’t achieve an orgasm every time! It’s been two weeks and we make love everyday!! What I am doing wrong, or what can I try…Please Help.
First, can she have an orgasm on her own? If so, she needs to show you what works. If she cannot do it herself, I doubt you will be able to. Does she relax and enjoy it since you said in her past marriage sex was "taboo"? The emotional block from this maybe part of the issue.
She has gotten off own her own in front of me, and I have gotten her off before orally, and while we were having sex. It was always difficult, but it happened. As of late though, she hasn't been able to get to that point. What do ya think?
Is she taking any medications? Are you doing sufficient foreplay? Some women cannot orgasm at all, some can only do it part of the time (on occasion), and some have no difficulty. Also, if she has something bothering her (an issue in your relationship) that can be a great influence on her ability. The harder women try to get there, the less chances it will happen.
Also, Evil suggests using "body worshiping" if you search the threads you will find some info on it. The best I can tell it's similar to tantric.
There are some issues with my personal situation that have been weighing on us, and she has been sick with a bad cough and allergies. I thank you for pointing this out, and I will search the other threads. :-)
One thing you could try to do is surprise her and have sex spontaneously in a new location. Some women like that, however others do not. Just an idea.....
I wouldn't put too much stress on having her orgasm. It just makes things frustrating for both parties. Even though she may not orgasm doesn't mean she's not having a good time or not enjoying sex.
yup....just let her know that as long as shes enjoying it your ok....dont act frusterated its not gonna help at all...allergies and sickness isnt good maybe hold off dont put so much pressure on it have fun do what you want and dont do what you dont want its been a week could just be a bad week as said previously when man was created he was created to have an orgasm because its how he empregnates(idk if its i or e) but yes where as women arent totally required so its alot more work to do
relaxation is key stick to it and just dont get impatient its
like if your having trouble keeping it up and she sits there and gets all intense about it its not going to help you at all you just need to let go and feel more comfortable and frusteration is not comforting weather its on the spot or you find out later its gonna ruin it(this is ofcourse if you doing have a medi. issue)
here's my suggestion: just relax! Don't focus on 'orgasm', don't even think about it. Just enjoy the pleasure you are having (both of you). There might also be something that makes you or her particularly horny but at the same time embarrasses you, thus making it more difficult for you to be open about it.