A person's previous "Experience" is a topic of frequent concern to many posters and because it is I am giving the topic a second albeit distinct link to the information that is also posted in Chapter Five of the multi-part article appearing under the heading: Beyond Beginning- that covers this subject and several related matters in separate chapters.
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:
So What?
The very nature of fooling around and venturing farther as you move around the proverbial "bases" is just how each of us becomes more and more comfortable with intimacy. Please understand that experience equates to knowledge, not skill. Regardless of experience, each time a new partnership is formed there is going to be a new Square One from which to begin. It is important that both parties know and understand these two factors.
People are different, what's more, people are wired differently and because of this may respond differently than someone else one or the other of you were with previously. Add to this that the two of you have individual likes, dislikes, preferences, quirks, moral values, beliefs, hangups, expectations, troubles with this or that as well as finding one or more activities much to your liking. Discovering these things, working through any problem areas, and learning to become proficient as a team are all unique to the two of you and have little bearing on past compatibility with someone else. You have a unique set of dynamics. Sex ain't just about plugging P into V. While this may be the common denominator, arriving at the solution often takes unique turns and twists that will be different than what was encountered with another partner.
I've said this time and again and it is worth repeating:
Communication is key to a successful relationship and this includes the romantic and sexual aspects, also. Talk to each other and work together, keeping in mind these two facts; first, that being in love and making love are not things we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other; second, that experience equates to knowledge, not skill. In the beginning, and as you become used to each other and develop a synergy, there will likely be some rough spots and sex may or may not come off as you hope for. This is common for most couples. My recommendation is to get over your wish for everything to be perfect and concentrate on making it worthwhile. Work on the connection between the two of you and not so much on mechanical perfection. That will come. Explore and learn together. Find comfort in the similarities; find enjoyment in the new and unknown. ;)
It is not uncommon for a man or woman to be shy about their body and timid with regard to what it is they would like their partner to do. A person with little experience and insight into what two people can do, can be hard pressed for a response, possibly becoming nervous at the thought of having to come up with an idea. If this happens, it is OK! There is no cause for alarm or thinking you're being put on the spot with no escape. If asked, and having no answer, simply suggest to your partner that you explore different things together. If you have heard or read about this or that and it sounds interesting, then suggest it; otherwise, explore the unknown. Some activities may require having a discussion at a time when the two of you are not planning on being intimate right then. The rest of the time, just try this or that, see how it goes over, and go from there. You may not like something immediately yet warm up to it later; you may find you enjoy a particular caress and want to do it often. Much of the love making scripting that couples do develop over time and with having developed a comfort level with themselves, their partner, and in the relationship.
Compromise may be necessary once in a while. One or the other may like a particular form of caress or activity and the other partner may not be as enthusiastic. If this happens the two of you should discuss the importance of the activity and how often it should be incorporated into your lovemaking. "Negotiation" is defined as giving the other person as much of what they want without giving up the core of what you want.
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say: I know it is a guy thing to want to be perfect, to have your first time go off without a hitch, to hide from your partner your lack of experience and possibly expertise, as well as other factors your Fragile Male Ego may become focused and hung up on. Making love is the physical expression and confirmation of a strong emotional bond. If your emotional connection with each other is strong, if she trusts and admires your leadership (or at the very least your potential ability) in other areas then these qualities are what will carry you through the rough spots, be they the awkwardness of those first sexual encounters, or, other very real problems and stresses you encounter in everyday life.
So, whether you are looking forward to making love for the first time, or, the first time with this particular individual, please find comfort in knowing that with each new pairing, there will be a new Square One from which to start. If you have had previous relationships, call upon the knowledge gained and use it to help this new experience along. If you have no previous experience--no big deal. Because each relationship has a unique set of dynamics, it doesn't really matter in the overall scheme of things. In both situations, the important thing is to explore and learn together, discover what you like doing and discard or table those activities that you do not like (perhaps only for the time being).
As a Ballroom dance instructor I regularly encounter and tangle with many Fragile Male Egos. Guys new to dancing want to do it right and without embarrassment or stumbling or bumbling that in their viewpoint will make them look less than capable in the eyes of their partner. How unrealistic is this? Did you ride a bicycle perfectly the first few times you sat upon one?? As a pilot, it took concerted effort and plenty of practice to become proficient at breaking the bonds of earth and flying high with "no strings attached", so to speak. Skill and confidence came with practice. OK, fast forwarding a bit, I now have some experience and want to fly another make and model airplane, I'm here to tell you that for all the similarities between the two machines, there is a world of difference in how to handle each one. Get my drift?
Because making love is a partnership, it is the teamwork the two of you use that will give you the skills and experience and knowledge to make making love worthwhile, enjoyable, and more than satisfying. So what if something doesn't quite go off as planned once in a while. As dancers, my partner and I just roll with the punches, laugh off the faux pa, and dance on into the night. All this is serious stuff, but you shouldn't take it so seriously that there isn't some space for things to go off without a hitch occasionally. It is the quality of your relationship in general that matters and that will see you through any learning curve with this one aspect of it.
I regularly recommend that my new students attend dances not so much to "dance" but to "practice". Why the play on words? Because a guy will get the notion that to go to a dance means he is under the gun and must perform flawlessly, all the while knowing he can't and compounding the matter by worrying about it--or worse, not even trying once there. If he and his partner go to a dance for the practice, the mindset is totally different. He can go to a dance, "practice" his moves, work on his abilities and because they are "practicing" he is free to make mistakes and not be judged. It isn't that you stumble, it is how you dust yourself off and go on that she looks at as important. It is your attitude under fire and your character that will hold her interest in you.
HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say: Experienced or not--GO PRACTICE!
[URL="http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/28998-next-pt-2-2-help-s-he-more..."]Next: It's not necessarily a guy thing:
If you are a guy who happens to be shy or uncertain about making the first move, know that this is OK. My suggestion is:
[COLOR="DarkOrange"]Please click on this link for Part 2.
Due to software limitations on word length, two address locations for Part 1, and the desire to make Part 2 easily accessible to both copies, the second part has been made a stand-alone thread.[/COLOR]
i was really scared that my boyfriend would get scared when we first started having sex because i have had it once before and he was still a virgin, i may as well has been a virgin though because the first time i had had sex was a complete mistake with an utter moron and i just spent the entire time laid on my back whilst he did his thing, my current boyfriend did find it fairly intimidating to start with and thought that whatever he did i wouldnt be pleasured i calmed him down and told him exsactly what all my other experience was, that not being much and now we are bothe learning together we still have alot to learn but we are getting there
when i lost my virginity, the girl i was with was not a virgin, though we were in a serious relationship. ill be honest-it didnt go too well. i lasted about 2 minutes :o but she was great about it, and after another couple somewhat awkward encounters, we started having a solid sex life.
girls, keep in mind that us guys are just as nervous the first time as you. perhaps more so, because the performance anxiety factor is definitely a bigger factor for us. a couple of my friends couldn't even get it up when they went to do it the first time (so ive been told; im also told this is not uncommon). our first time, we feel the pressing need to be ron jeremy. also, if you're not a virgin and he is, he's going to feel pressure to measure up, which will make the performance anxiety worse.
guys, just relax. seriously. she's not expecting multiple mind-blowing orgasms from you the first time you have intercourse. be honest with her. its ok that she knows you're nervous. you will be pleasantly surprised, amazed even, at how understanding and supportive girls can be, especially if you're in a comitted relationship. i know my girl was. if you have issues the first few times, dont worry, its totally natural
i was a vergin when i met my girlfriend she understood that and we took it slow but now im a horny rabbit, im still new to sex but with her i know i can take it at my pace without being ashamed if im doing it wrong, if i am she will tell me, i have made her orgasim a few times but i need to last longer, she said to masterbait earlyer in the day so when we go to bed i last much longer and it dose work
i have had sex once before, and it didnt go well at all! Now im with a new partner whos a virgin. i'm worried he will be apperhensive because i have so called 'experiance' but the truth is i really dont. Just cause i have done it, doesnt mean i know anymore.
I think specially in mid teens (16-17) virginity is bliss.
cause then you can learn together.
Hi...
jhkhkhuuuu
How do you tell him what, that you are a virgin, that you are not? Either way, you do not have to tell him. The past is your past. If he happens to ask, be truthful.
Well, the first time I had sex, it was with a woman who was far more experienced than I was, and I told her I was a virgin beforehand. The next time I had sex, it was with a different woman, and I didn't tell her that it was only my second time. She didn't notice that I was relatively inexperienced.
I think people make too much of this thing where one person has more experience than the other. Now that I'm experienced, if I was to have sex with a woman who told me she was a virgin, I think I'd be the one who'd be nervous. I'd be too concerned about doing everything right for her first time.
Well I was a virgin when i met my boyfriend. He was way more experience than me. I was scared at first b/c that is what every other guy I dated wanted and I wouldn't give in. But I finally gave in after several months. Were still together to this days and he wanted to marry me, he says. Anyhow, I still wonder if I am pleasing him he says I have been the best so far but I don't know what to believe. Hes says none of the other girls hes been when didn't mean ****, they were just there...After all hes my first and suposally I'm is last. In a guys opinion should I believe him or not?
Ummm...well I mean it is tricky. A solid relationship is based upon trust, so you should trust him.
Then again, there is a slim chance that he is saying it so you wont be discouraged.
it really shouldn't matter..i've been one to worry about this..but it's fine. don't be put off, be confident, ask if you're very inexperienced and trust in your partner..the fact you're being so intimate means you should have a basis for trust..don't worry about comparisons because they don't matter, it's about enjoying the moment, getting lost in it and not analysing things too much.
Me and my boyfriend are both virgins only I'm more excited then he is about having sex.
[quote=KMB;204122]Me and my boyfriend are both virgins only I'm more excited then he is about having sex.[/quote]KMB: Have you thought about why that may be? I see a red flag...
:confused: I worry that it's something not good, but he did say he wants to have sex with me not too many nights ago.
He is only 16 though.
[quote=KMB;204126]:confused: I worry that it's something not good, but he did say he wants to have sex with me not too many nights ago.
He is only 16 though.[/quote]Yes, he does it can be: 1- his fear of performance since you appear to be preparing.
2-A) Sex B)Love C)Kids D)Marriage are not mutually inclusive they can be but they can individually be mutually exclusive A-D in any combination.
He has made it clear no kids, overtly stating he is not willing to settle down yet you are both too young. I fear you are going into this with high expectations and will be hurt in the end. If you are in love & want to be sexual fine. But leave all other expectations & thoughts a side.
He may feel pressure that once he makes the leap to sex; you shall wish for more from him then he is willing/capable to give.
I think I understand what you are saying.
I shouldn't push him into sex too much or I should find someone else
I think it's me growing into a woman thinking and wanting to have sex maybe kids, it's very hard to make up my mind at this age it gets confussing and kind of maddning.
I feel so ready.
I can wait for him I love him that much it would hurt to make a mistake and to loose him.
I think he is wondering if he does go through with it he feels you want to trap him into the whole kids & marriage. If he is the one you wish to be with sexually & love and he feels the same; have no expectations of marriage or kids with him...it's too soon. He may believe you will have a full life expectation of him when in fact he is not certain he wants that at this time in his life. He may feel that as emotional pressure.
Realize (realistically not idealistically) the chances of you & he getting all 4 of the subsets is minimal. And realistically, you will have more men in your life over time.
Men play until they determine the time they want to settle down & at that time they re-think the kids aspect. However, it's generally not for many years. Remember biology is driving you and your thoughts. This is typical in women, men wish to sow their oats...
ok, I have been wondering why he was all over me. Now I will do everything I can to have him although don't want to do anything wrong.
I guess kids and Marriage is worth a wait for sure.
Although I was a little nervous on having kids.
Also today I was a little upset on something,
I was crying cause I can't help but think if he cheated on me.
I feel like I'm too hard on him also. I really love him and he's sweet enough to stay with me for now but I worry my behavior on him talking or hugging other girls will shove him away.
so I might back off on the marriage and children
I doubt he is cheating. I think he has fears and may be with drawling. You both need to talk openly about expectations and clarify the way you feel and listen to him.
I doubt you are pushing him into it rather he fears what you expect from the ordeal. He also may fear he will hurt you despite wanting to be with you--he knows what you want & knows he cannot be that right now.
Talk...best form of a good relationship & be friends. Let the rest follow love, sex and when appropriate marriage & kids follow with the most correct person for you :)
I will try but I know he will listen I won't force him just talk to him how the future will be.
Thanks sooo much for your help :)
[quote=KMB;204137]I will try but I know he will listen I won't force him just talk to him how the future will be.
Thanks sooo much for your help :)[/quote]
Not a problem...any time!
Last night I talked to him and he didn't seem to want to talk about what I felt all he was talking about was on his life I mean I don't mind listening to his problems but I want him to make me feel better.
I also said I wanted to call him today only he said he wasn't sure he would have the time :(
I have a feeling I have to end this for a while till he is mature enough to have a relationship with me.
[quote=KMB;204174]Last night I talked to him and he didn't seem to want to talk about what I felt all he was talking about was on his life I mean I don't mind listening to his problems but I want him to make me feel better.
I also said I wanted to call him today only he said he wasn't sure he would have the time :(
I have a feeling I have to end this for a while till he is mature enough to have a relationship with me.[/quote]Back off and back away from him. Find other things to do; hang out with friends etc. And don't be so fast to return his calls. Just slow it all down and keep occupied! Do not "offer to call" let him find you if he is interested. Don't set yourself up for rejection.
my boyfriend has been in 2 long very sexual relationships and is much more experienced than me.
ive only done it once, and that was with him,
we both love eachother heaps but i dont want to dissapoint him.
im scared to have sex again with him.
help?
samyj2, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
Did you read the opening article to this thread or just jump in with your comments and concerns? It sounds like you did not read the article or if you did that you learned nothing. Either way, please go to the link and scroll down through the various chapters until you get to the one addressing the matter of experience.
I wrote it just for the two of you, and, several of your new found friends here. While at it, please read the other articles listed in the Index.
Okay, I am in a partial internal dilemma. My boyfriend and I previously dated for a year and 7 months. We were each others firsts, in everything. Our relationship eventually ended and we went our separate ways. Soon after he got involved with another girl and they dated for 9 months. I tried dating other guys but wasn't really interested and lived up the single life.
About 3 months ago he professed his still existing feelings for me and his unhappiness with his new girlfriend. He and the new girl broke up and after much discussion and getting to know one another again, we began dating again about a month ago. He told me that they had had sex, he took her virginity and he felt bad about it, especially for breaking up with her so soon after doing so. I can understand why he'd feel bad but sometimes it just bothers me that he was intimate with another girl while during the 11 months we weren't together, the most I did was kiss another guy.
Am I being paranoid and improperly jealous or is that relatively normal?!
Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.
Your feelings are normal for many, not paranoid, yet without basis or foundation. Get beyond it and concentrate on the now.
honestly every guy is nervous their first time, honestly my first time i made the error in judgement to not wear a condom, and thank god i didnt get the girl pregnant, but anyway if your with a girl who isnt a total bitch, u will be fine and u will get better the more u do it
Let's not have the attitude or the derogatory reference; otherwise, I agree with the message that could have been stated more politely.
I have a connundrum. i dont know what to think about my current girlfriend. i really do love her but i dont tell her and im almost positive sex is coming soon but she has had sex before and it really truly bothers me. when i asked for sex she flipped and cried and said that it was too soon.
Im glad she told me all of this. but i know once u have it u want it still no matter what you say. i just dont know what to do. i just want to know if shes always thinking of her firtst.
[QUOTE=newchris101;233870]I have a connundrum. i dont know what to think about my current girlfriend. i really do love her but i dont tell her....
[COLOR="blue">This can sometimes take a while to decide if you are in lust, just really good friends, or, that there is the makings of love. Whatever the state of your feelings, I do believe you owe her a "position report". Tell her something. If for example you are really in like--tell her. If you are uncertain about it being love--tell her.
I can "tell you" that hearing those three little words "I love you" means more than knowing s/he does yet never hearing it. The same goes for other endearing terms. Whatever you tell her, do be honest.
How long have the two of you been dating? If less that three or four months, it most likely ain't love. What many people say is love is really lust, or strong hormones, or the development of a really great friendship. Love usually takes longer to develop, especially when you are young and inexperienced in the ways of Eros. [/COLOR]
and im almost positive sex is coming soon but she has had sex before and it really truly bothers me.
[COLOR="blue">Why? The older you get the more people you will encounter who have had sex before. So what?![/COLOR]
when i asked for sex she flipped and cried and said that it was too soon. Im glad she told me all of this.
[COLOR="blue">Please read the article on boundaries and in knowing how far to go.
Lesson #1: You don't ask for it. A relationship is a partnership. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. Please read this article:
I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it. [/COLOR]
but i know once u have it u want it still no matter what you say. i just dont know what to do. i just want to know if shes always thinking of her firtst.
[COLOR="blue">She is with you, that should answer your question. That is all that should matter to you. If she thinks about past loves, consider them fantasies. We all have them and they are all harmless unless acted out.
Do not rush into making out, fooling around, moving too quickly from stage to stage, and then intercourse. Take your time, lots of time, getting to know each other well, developing trust, developing your feelings for each other. There are articles listed in the Index on this also.[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
I suggest you go to the Index, reading, and learning before doing much of anything else except socializing with her for the time being.
we have been going out for three months. I feel a real connection and i know she does too because she always says that she feels like she likes me more than she should at the point that we are at.
Also its not even because shes the first warm body i found. i have a lot of options but honestly its a lot better than it would be with anyone else and i have a pretty good grasp on that.
We do fight its not all lovey dovey stuff. It's healthy because we rnt just hanging out with each other all the time we have our time with our own friends and family. It just seems like its right and i feel like once we start saying i love u it might complicate everything.
At the same point i know by at least next month or 6 months in we are going to have had sex already because of our feelings for each other.
Her big issue with sex was that the first guy that she did it with cheated on her. Also at first he did act like he cared but then later on he just started having sex with her and then leaving and not caring and she said that was what hurt the most and she doesnt want to make things hard and complicated because she thinks that im genuine and she doesnt want to lose that yet.
And i really dont know how her vagina getting looser works really. Like the whole loosening and tightening. If u could send me some info on that in the form of a link thatd be very helpful too. but just think about what im saying and give me a way to work it out.
There is nothing to send you in the way of a link or a book or anything else. Once the hymen is gone, obstructions are out of the way. No matter what magic women have tried (or men have forced on us) over the millennia, we do not get tighter again. The muscles surrounding the area may be tense but that would have more to do with her head than her bottom.
At sixteen, I can assure you that in six months this will all be behind you and you will each have other friends. Stop the histrionics and get on with your life. You see this as your first chance to establish a sexual relationship. There will be many more. You should each be studying up on protection and the rest will happen as it happens.
I might add that you really do not know what went on between her and her past boyfriends. Everyone lies about sex.
well i feel that brandye is being a little condescending. Its not my first chance at a sexual relationship like that. Its not my first girlfriend. Its not complete inexperience with women either. Its just that ive never had to deal with any of this and when i dont know how to do something i ask for help from people. I ask on here a lot because of all of the decent people that log on. i dont appreciate getting yelled at by you or evilsexkitten?. Its just ridiculous.
I just think you could be a little more receptive to my questions because you run a site where people are encouraged to ask. I started 10 threads about my own shit. They were my own difficulties that im not able to explain to my personal friends on account of the agreement with my gf not to tell anyone really what we do beyond kiss and touch.
The first time I was in front of a girl naked, I could not get it up to save my damn life (I am normally easily turned on). She felt bad about it, but well see my other thread for details.
The only thing that came out of it that was good was that I am good with my tounge and fingers.
Ladies if we cannot get it up, do not fret. It is completely normal.
i'm new to this site and not sure where the right places are to ask these kind of questions, but i'm pretty inexperienced when it comes to sex and the girl i'm interested in seems much more experienced than me (and i'm pretty sure she is).
she said she did a "tripod". what exactly is that?
I went to urban dictionary and it told me it was essentially a gangbang and then google searches told me it was something less intense. Can someone please help straighten this out for me? thanks
here were the links i looked up when trying to figure out what it was:
-definitions 5 and 6: [url=http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=tripod]Urban Dictionary: tripod
-http://www.articlesbase.com/sexuality-articles/kama-sutra-standing-posit...
-http://books.google.com/books?id=Cx62zwSwbcsC&pg=PA146&lpg=PA146&dq=trip...
any help asap would be greatly appreciated, thank you
My boyfriend has had sex before but i havent and he said that he is ready andso am i but im really scared can anyone give me advice plz xx
have you read the content dancingdoc has provided on the first page? here is also part 2 http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/28998-next-if-you-new-have-no-ex...
I have read that but i still feel scared to do it but i feel ready at the same time jst pm me advice sumone plz xx
When the desire overcomes the fear THEN you are ready not before.
You, HLD, are not yet ready. Simply asking the question proves it.
Words are powerful and can be tools for building or tools for destroying. That said, why are you "really scared"? You need to identify and put words to your feelings in order to manage them and gain control.
Are you actually "scared" or just apprehensive about the unknown?
Let's learn if any of the following have you concerned:
* I'm bashful, what if we don't do "it" in the dark
* what if he doesn't like my body
* what if I don't orgasm or what if he doesn't
* what if he cums too soon
* will there be pain and if so how much
* how do we get his penis into my vagina
- what if we can't " "
* what if he wants me to go down on him
* what if he wants to go down on me
* what do I do with his penis, exactly
* what do I do if he wants to do something I don't want to
* what if I don't get any enjoyment
* other?
If you have questions and concerns about any of the above, please let us know so we can zero in and try to help you (and others) with them.
While "luck" per se does not have anything to do with this discussion, its definition does. "Luck" is defined as opportunity meeting preparedness. You will be in a much better frame of mind when you have done all you can to prepare for the the opportunity of having sex for the first time. This means asking questions, obtaining answers--and reading all you can. As for the latter, please familiarize yourself with the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page, you will find even more information.
I recommend reading every article beginning with those found in this section: SEX e.g. INTERCOURSE
In fact, why not encourage your boyfriend to read all of the articles, also, either with you or separately. Next, discuss what the two of you have read and add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering. I can pretty much bet that his prior experience has not netted him all the answers, either. Please understand that "experience" equates to knowledge, not necessarily skill. Relationships, including the sexual portion, are partnerships. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together!
How far are you planning to go if and when you finally do have sex? Will you be stopping after Foreplay {hand job and/or oral stimulation), or, after intercourse? Regardless of your answer, I strongly recommend that the two of you proceed slowly and somewhat deliberately--meaning, getting to know each other in stages (Necking, then Necking and Petting, then these plus Heavy Petting, then adding Foreplay--all before ever getting to intercourse. Doing so may take weeks or a few months depending upon how often the two of you get together.
FOREPLAY: The Prequel and Sequel
There is an entire set of articles that discuss fooling around and making out. Of primary concern is understanding boundaries and limits and then how to test when your present limit has been extended. Both of you need to read about this.
The point of all this is to establish increasing levels of trust and intimacy between the two of you. "Jumping in the 'sack'" or going for a quick roll in the "hay" is OK when you have acquired experience, not so much when you are initially learning what all this is about. So, my recommendation is not to have intercourse and certainly not until you have taken all the necessary steps to prepare. Begin with a visit to your gyn. in order to ask questions in confidence and to make sure all your "pieces-parts" are ready to go.
Part of your preparedness for intercourse is contraception and birth control.
* are you on the pill
+ will you be on the pill prior to
* will your boyfriend use a condom
* are the two of you going to use an additional line of defense--a vaginal spermicide?
Choosing a method of birth control for you is another reason you need to visit your doctor prior to having any sort of sex, even if you only plan to make out!
Ideally you should be looking out for and protecting A#1--you, and use some form of highly reliable form of contraception. In addition, your boyfriend should be looking out for A#1--himself. As a third line of protection, the two of you should also be using a spermicide. If you cannot do all three, then do the last two. Certainly do not rely exclusively on your partner protecting you. Absolutely, do not have intercourse if all you have is a condom between you.
As you know, there are many different types of birth control methods. None are 100% reliable; therefore, use at least two.
Lastly, "sex" be it fooling around and making out, foreplay, and/or intercourse, should be fun and enjoyable. Expect that the first time or two may not go perfectly; this is part of the learning curve when any two people join forces.
Do not overlook communication. Talking about concerns, giving feedback on how we are responding to each others kisses and caresses, and for what we need now/next is very important. Once, again, explore and learn together and enjoy each moment.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
-doc