OK here goes...
I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. He was my first (first time was in summer) but as we are in a long distance relationship, we only get to see each other every 2/3 weeks for the weekend.
At first it was very painful to have intercourse, but it has got easier, but it still hurts when it gets to a certain point (like it can't go in any further) or if we've been having sex for a little while. It still doesn't go in very far though. Do you have any tips for this?
Also, I have problems orgasming. Masturbation doesn't do anything for me for a start. When my boyfriend either goes down on me or fingers my clitoris, it feels like I get close (I feel a burning sensation, my legs shake and my breathing gets very shallow and fast) but after a short while I can't handle the intense feeling and I start to feel faint due to the breating, so I have to get him to stop.
Any help would be greatly appreciated, thanks
If you have not had a gyn exam, do so now.
Until you have learned to successfuly masturbate alone, you have little reference for how you are doing with someone else. Read Our Bodies Our Selves for starters.
BTW, after the gyn exam - you're doing sex all wrong.
1. breath deeply and calmly and just roll with the feelings.
2. force your muscles to relax
3. masturbate to orgasm - learn how, experiment. Yes, it is that important.
4. Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay - please see the sticky posts entitled Body Worship and The Program. The reason why "it can't go in any further" is you're not sufficiently aroused.
5. get yourself a more skilled partner. If he doesn't know what he's doing - sex can hurt.
I've been (and still am really...) scared to go to the doctors about this...
As for the breathing, it's only when there's pressure on my clit and I get a very intense feeling there - it's not through penetration as well. And it's something that I can only control to a certain extent - it just happens automatically.
I do try and relax, but it doesn't seem to happen.
I have been trying to masturbate and will continue to try.
We do do a lot of foreplay beforehand. I seem to get more wet when I'm sitting up (even just temporarily) so we're going to experiment more with me being on top, and see if that helps (it was very difficult in the beginning to do it that way round, so we didn't, but last time we tried it was easier)
As for getting a new partner - I love him very much and I'm not his first sexual partner - and he's been fine with them. My body just seems stubborn...
My concern is the burning. You most definately need an exam especially if you are now having sex. Are you using a condom? You may be allergic to latex try lambs skin. Are his hands clean before touching you this may also be a problem. It is normal to have problems having an orgasm for some people. You do have to try different methods and know what an orgasm really feels like. The number one important thing is RELAX. Sex is to be fun and enjoyable. Try candles and music to help relax at first. Hope some of this helps.
I don't feel any burning during penetration, only from him putting pressure on my clit, so I don't think I can be allergic to condoms, and he is free from STIs. Also, up to a point, it feels good, but then it gets too much
Try lube if you are not already, other than that you need to see a Dr. This is not a normal feeling. If you have tried everything suggested above and still does not help, you need to see a Dr. if you are not using comdoms and have not seen a doc for birth control what are you using. Not that it is any of my business, but birth control is VERY important unless you are trying to get pregnant. Anyway, did not mean to get on a rant. I apologize. Point of the matter see a Dr if there is something wrong it is only getting worse.
I get that way during oral sex after an orgasm, but it does not burn it is more like it tickles. That just means the clitoral area is stimulated. Have him move to another area when you get this feeling.
The clitoris often becomes hypersensitive just prior to having a climax. My suggestion is to fold the labia over it and massage the clitoris indirectly through them.
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;211432]The clitoris often becomes hypersensitive just prior to having a climax. My suggestion is to fold the labia over it and massage the clitoris indirectly through them.[/QUOTE]
OK thanks for that - I'll try it :)
And I am on the pill
OK, you like Doc's idea. Go for it. BUT SEE A DOCTOR. No woman should eb sexually active without having had things checked out. The pill is irrelevant to your issues.