Just needing some advice helping out our love life. We've been married for 14 years and our love life has been what I would call pretty good when it happens. From our first time to now it has dwendled down to once a week or so. I have heard that as time goes by it will decrease by the years. We are only mid 30's. I myself had several experiences before marriage but I was her first and only. This is a little about the way things go at night.
First we may both be in bed naked but unless I start making a move she may be asleep in less that 1 minute. Trust me I've watched the clock. If we get by that I can start kissing, cuddleling and carressing. I love to carress her breasts, kissing sucking and kneeding, but she says that it does nothing to excite her, they are 36c in size. Next I move to oral sex which she loves and most always has an orgasm. Now she may try and return the favor. Her oral sex lasts about 2-3 minutes or less with no intention of getting me to orgasm. Then she may climb on top and grind away up and down until we climax. Roll off, clean up and go to sleep. Pretty much the same routine every time.
Now, my problem is that I kinda crave sex. I like to read about it, watch it, preform it and so on. She doesn't act like that at all. She don't like it unless we're in bed. She won't watch it or read about it. I've bought didlos, massage creams, movies, exotic lingerie but nothing seems to make her just come home and want to have sex. There is no want, just the duty of making love to her husband. DOESN'T SHE JUST WANT TO ****!!
Maybe my problem is not a problem but I'm just looking for some advice. Thanks
How do you turn your wife from just going thru the motions of sex to wanting sex. We've been married 14 years and together for about 20. We dated 6 with her waiting until our 6th to finally let me take her virginity. Wow what a long wait. I was her first and she was far from mine. For her sex is pretty plain and reserved. No movies, stories, toys or anything of that nature. I don't care to make her a slut, just to make her want to make her sexual experience better. Help!
You REALLY need to talk to her about this! Communication is key in any relationship, especially a sexual relationship. Talking with my boyfriend about both of our wants and desires (outside of the bedroom, in an open, unjudgmental manner) has really helped us to figure out our sexual chemistry. And you have to be playful and adventurous with sex, and just open up to it.
If you want your sexual relationship to work, you MUST be able to communicate about it. You've been married for 14 years, so you should be comfortable enough with each other to discuss this as a serious relationship issue. Maybe there are things that she would like to try in bed.
How is your relationship outside of sex? Are you both affectionate? Do you do little things for each other? Do you have romantic dinners and "dates"? Having an already strong relationship will really help sex. Making sure that she feels romanced... not like sex is a chore. Girls really appreciate the consideration of some romantic gestures.
And another point - you might just have different sex drives. In that case, you may have to decide whether you want to end the relationship or stay with someone who you don't have a satisfactory sexlife with.
You brought it on yourself by marrying a sexually repressed woman.
You would be enjoying your life more if you had married a slut.
That being said: she isn't likely at this late date to turn hot on you - too much history there. She most likely feels defensive by this time what with all of the toys etc you bring home for her. She is what she is.
You need to talk openly and honestly about how you would like her to desire you/want you/hunger for you and if needed; see a marriage counselor.