I am 25 and living with my 38 (almost 39) year old boyfriend. We have great sex... when we have it. But it seems like we argue more about it than anything else. He says that it just isn't that important to him. He has a bad back too and says that he just can't handle it as much as I want it. So, I am just at kind of a difficult position. I want to have sex with him all the time. But he says that I make him feel guilty when he doesn't want to have sex. I can't seem to get a grip on what to do here. Any advice is GREATLY needed. Also, I feel like in the past few months we are more in a routine of sex.... the same old thing over and over. I am a very shy... kind of quite person so i am need some thoughts on how to bring up the topic of changing things around a little bit.
Tue, 08/05/2003 - 02:27
#1
Help with my older man
Going crazy.. welcome aboard. We have a lot in common. My man is 38 and I am 21. I understand about you wanting sex and him not so much. After we have sex, I want more but he needs time to recoup. As far as your man not wanting it because of his back, let him lay down, you get on top so it doesnt strain as much. Also, try it while he is sitting in a chair, sit ontop of him. Look around at this site, go the main page and check out position options. I would also suggest giving him a little more oral. I can't see a grown man passing up sex and oral. I can understand he has a bad back so missionary and other positions may be painful. So try new positions, try new things, be romantic!
goingcrazy, you're at your sexual peak and he's on the downslope. Be patient as best you can. That fact that he says sex is not important to him does not bode well for the two of you, but you can try some things. Take a look thru the "Married and Long Term Relationships" thread. You might find some ideas in there.
Go for quality and not quantity, and think about getting yourself a vibrator. I'm serious, that's what worked for me.
My hubby is much older than me and is not always interested in sex as much as I am , I am 35 and think I have hit my prime . Him having diabetes also complicates things as erections are few and far between because of the disease. We went to the Drs. last year and he was prescribed Viagra and this has helped somewhat. As we live in England the national health service only supplies 4 of these fabulous tablets a month so we have to use them sparingly. We engage in oral which he is fantastic at, suggest this to your partner, there are also other ways of pleasing your partner or having him please you that do not have to include penetration. We also many times just spend time stroking each others bodys leaving out the genitalia, this can be as sensual as you make it!
Melody