Okay, so my girlfriend and I are new to oral sex. I'm having no problem getting her to orgasm (multiple times even) but she can't seem to "get me off". She gives great head, it feels so good, but I can't seem to cum. Can anyone help us? Is there something different she can try?
Wed, 07/23/2008 - 14:53
#1
Help! my gf can't get me to orgasm!
I had the same problem for a little while with my gf. It felt amazing when she did it, but i would start to go soft after a while. We figured out, it was because she wasn't applying enough pressure with her lips. It also helps if she holds the base of your penis and squeezes a little bit, plus maybe she can do manual stimulation on the shaft while she puts her mouth on the head. That usally will do it for me.
Also, speed. For me to cum during sex, I go very fast, so she has to use her hand and go fery fast to make me cum in a bj.
How much do you masterbate? If you masterbate alot it can effect it, try going without for a few days. Oh and i should add, You're in charge of your own orgasm, you cant make that her Responsibility. So you cant orgasm when she's giving you head, not she cant make me orgasm when giving me head. thats bad...
Hello Miguel, and welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. The answer to your question and concern is contained in this article listed in the Index found at the top of the main page.
These and other questions and concerns have been asked enough times that articles for each have been written and listed in the Index. Have a look. If you have questions after reading the information, please do not hesitate to ask.
I hope this is of help.
[quote=lustforlove] How much do you masterbate? If you masterbate alot it can effect it, try going without for a few days.
[COLOR="RoyalBlue">
This is a good suggestion, however, it will not fix the underlying problem being that in order to reach an orgasm we all have to have the type of stimulation we have become accustomed to.[/COLOR]
Oh and i should add, You're in charge of your own orgasm, you cant make that her Responsibility. So you cant orgasm when she's giving you head, not she cant make me orgasm when giving me head. thats bad...
[COLOR="RoyalBlue">Please clarify the last statement in bold, I do not understand.
Yes, each of us, man and woman, is indeed responsible for our own climax and orgasm; yet this does not mean we cannot show our partner how to copy what we do by ourselves. This and feedback are the keys to success. Once she learns your technique of stimulating your penis, then it becomes a partnership for success by virtue of the feedback you provide. The same holds true for the woman with her man.[/COLOR] [/quote]
And it is masturbate - please notice the u
[QUOTE=lustforlove;219672]You're in charge of your own orgasm, you cant make that her Responsibility. So you cant orgasm when she's giving you head, not she cant make me orgasm when giving me head. thats bad...[/QUOTE]
i thought that the point of oral sex is to give your partner sensations such that it makes her/him orgasm. am i wrong? and what does the "thats bad..." mean?
to answer you're question, i masturbate 1-2 times a week. and i don't have an issue with having oral sex.
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the thought that your incharge of aking her orgasm, if she cant get you yoorgsasm it's because you either havn't told her what techniques make her orgasm, or you're not in the right frame of mind, it's your responsibillity. you tell her what right for you, dont make her guess becuase she will get it wrong.
oh and sorry EEK it's my accent i forget how to spell words like masturbate correctly and spell it how i say it.. my bad.
> i thought that the point of oral sex is to give your partner sensations such that it makes her/him orgasm. am i wrong? and what does the "thats bad..." mean?
I gather from this statement that you have not yet read the link I provided a couple of days ago.
There are two paths that pleasuring a man can take via the penis. Think of them as a "Y" in which you begin at the base and work your way up one or the other of the legs. One leg will take you to a climax using the tried and true methods that you have come to rely upon when masturbating. If your partner has learned to copy your technique of rhythm, motion, and pressure, then with your feedback, she can take you to the brink of a climax--and beyond.
Consider oral stimulation with or without a hand job as taking the other leg. More often than not this will produce much more intense feelings and sensations than what we experience on the path to an orgasm, yet because these sensations are not what we rely upon to trigger a climax, they just continue to build and become more intense until we "cry uncle" and have to stop.
At this point, you can pause, slide back down your arousal curve to a point below the level you experience as you near an orgasm and have her begin using those rhythms, type of stroking, and pressures, that will take you along the other path to an orgasm. Or, you can pause and if not yet ready for a climax, she can rebuild your excitement and tension and anticipation by again stimulating you to those higher levels. It is all in what each of you wants and which path she takes.
> i masturbate 1-2 times a week. and i don't have an issue with having oral sex.
The only time the number of times you masturbate may influence your ability to respond, is if you have had one or more climaxes beforehand that day. So, achieving an orgasm has more to do with having the right technique and using it than the number of times you masturbate in a week, except as noted.