what do you mean he needs lots of presure?

> my bf needs lots of presure to cum.

Your message is confusing. What do you mean by "needs lots of pressure to cum?"

> He has cum durring sex once. how can i break him of that habbit, train him out of it or find a posistion that works for both of us?

How many times have the two of you had sex?
That he had one orgasm during sex does not a habbit make.
A more important question to come from this confusion is WHYwould anybody want to "train him out of it"?

I don't know what other people glean from your message; however, from what you have written, it sounds like you do not want him to have orgasms as a result of all your fooling around. Now, after reading and re-reading your post half a dozen times I rather doubt that his is your question; rather that it is with great difficulty that he achieves a climax and you probably want to know what the two of you can do to make him climax easier and more readily.

I have addressed this matter at least once a week for years on this and other forums and all anyone has to do is to read the messages from the past week or so. Here is my recommendation, again, contained in two quotes.

" We do not give orgasms away. All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve his/her orgasm. To do this we need to be taught the techniques to do this. Of course we all know the basic mechanics involved in stimulating a penis or fingering a clitoris; however, what must be taught is the "fine art" that each one of us develops over time that is specific and unique to each of us.

It is important to provide feedback to our partner on how we are responding to his/her caresses. Without it all any of us can hope for is a 50/50 chance of being right on with what we do. With something so important, who wants this as a batting average?

With this in mind, I recommend showing each other how you masturbate and then to teach each other the specific movements, rhythms, and pressures that you require to build arousal and then trigger an orgasm. Take each other's hand and guide it in order to learn to mimic each other's method."

And...

">> (rainydayzsunshine} but even when its the best of best it still takes along time. i dont mind cause i like to make him feel good but i was just wondering why it might take so long?

Two things:

T#1 is that right out of the gate having just discovered masturbation, a guy begins to develop a unique and specific technique for bringing about a climax. Over the course of a few weeks he learns that certain movements, rhythms, tempo, and pressures, used at specific times based upon the feedback he is getting will bring about an orgasm in due course. When guys find what works we rely upon the method daily. Of course we may change the technique from time to time for variation, however, if we stray too far we either do not reach the trigger point of an orgasm, or, when it happens it isn't quiet up to par.

Girls are much the same way, I susspect.

T#2 is that we do not generally reach the trigger point of an orgasm by stimulating the glans in a way that mimics the oral techniques someone gives us. That said, it is often difficult or impossible to trigger an orgasm just from oral. More often than not, the best way is to combine oral and stroking. The two together are a dynamic duo!

If you want to take him to the brink quickly, you have to learn to mimic his stroking technique. This is best done by encouraging him to demonstrate how he masturbates and then for him to take your hand in his in order to guide your movements so that you can learn how to build his ardor in the manner to which he has become accustom. The same goes for you. Teach him how you finger yourself by guiding his fingers a few times until he gets the hang of it.

The next thing is to find his hot spots. The #1 hot spot is the Frenulum {Y-shaped ridge of skin extending from the cleft to the top of the shaft). One or more additional hotspots can be found around the Corona Rim.

So, what is a girl to do? Stoking by itself will get him off. If you want to dramatically intensify his pleasure, switch to oral. If you want to send him soaring into the ozone, combine the two.

If you then want to trigger an orgasm when you know he is on the brink, concentrate on his method of stroking in addition to what you are doing with your lips and tongue and then let your thumb rub the Frenulum. A few swipes here and it'll be over in the blink of an eye."

Pleasure him with your hand or mouth the way he needs it. Then when he is about to cum stop and let hum climb aboard. It will not pleasure you but that can be acheived before you start on him. Try a cock ring also

Thank you very much for the IM and clarification.

> he can not have orgasms but can cum.

This is unusual abeit not unheard of. It is possible for some men on rare occasions to experience an ejculation without an accompanying orgasm. It has been my experience that when this happens it is after a series of multiple orgasms in which the last one, let's say, is being illusive and just doesn't want to happen. When it does, I get the ejaculation without the euphoria. Thank goodness this has only happend three or four times over the years. I have no clue why this is a regular and ongoing experience for him. Perhaps you should as Brandye.

> he uses a strong grip to masterbate (like is hard as he can hold on). so the result is that when we have sex i cum and he needs to jack-off(b/c i become sencitive).

I doubt that your resulting sensitivity has a bearing on his ability to climax. Women often become hyper-sensitive just before climaxing whereas men often become too sensitive to touch immediately after. Although it feels like intense pain, it is really just a reaction of the nerves to being overly stimulated. The fix for women seems to be to cover the tip of the clitoris with the inner lips and stimulate it indirectly through them, or, to switch and massage the shaft. A man's sensitivity is also chemically caused and goes away by itself after several minutes. Perhaps a similar chemical release plays a part with women, although I have only read about the first part.

You are fortunate to be able to climax during intercourse. It must be a major disappointment for him not to.

The only thought that comes to mind is that there might be a similarity to what is going on with him and what happens to women who use a vibrator to excess and then learn that they cannot achieve an orgasm from the light touch of agitated fingers. It might be that he has developed this heavy-handed method, has come to rely upon it over the years, and has not developed or perfected a lighter gentler technique. I'm just wondering out loud so don't put any more value on this than what you paid for the information.

I would think he'd want to go get checked out if it is beginning to bother him--or you, especially.