You do not mention self-stimulation.

One-quarter of all women never experience orgasm. Most could but just give up. See it is never too late in Chick Chat. It is generally agreed that the best way for a woman to learn to reach climax is through masturbation - fingers, toys, vibrators, whatever. In some cases, a chat with your gyn would be helpful. At the very least, any sex counselor or other clinician would want a complete gyn exam before embarking on helping you.

Dancing Doc gives you some excellent sources. My favorite for women is Our Bodies Ourselves. Finf out how you work and that is a good starting point. In addition to the quarter of women who not experience this pleasure, fifty percent of us (I am in this group) do not reach orgasm through penile thrusting alone but require some other stimulation. We figure neat positions to experience orgasm with a penis in us and for other goodies. It all starts with the first orgasm and the, more often than not, comes when you are alone.

Heh, I'm in the same boat as you love.

Right out of puberty boys learn rather quickly how to masturbate and then spend a few weeks building up arm/wrist muscles and honing in on what types of motion, rhythm, tempo, and squeezing, where and when, work. Once we develop a technique it pretty much stays with us for life. Even though we may modify our basic method and experiment with others, we do not stray far from key things that build and ultimately trigger our orgasms. This is what I call developing the "fine art" of what is otherwise just the basic mechanics of stroking.

Not so for many girls. While some learn to masturbate early on, many remain "preorgasmic" for years, never exploring and learning about their body and how to achieve an orgasm via masturbation until much later in their teens or twenties. Why, I don't know but it could have to do with the low level of testosterone, and, perhaps social/family morals.

SELF DISCOVERY

What follows is only one idea of many that you can use.

I suggest a girl or woman wanting to learn to become orgasmic begin by taking a hand mirror and exploring her genitalia in order to get to know what all the pieces-parts look like. Her reconnoitering should begin at the pubic mons; and include the folds of the upper vulva; the labia majora and minora; urethra; vaginal opening; hymen; and, anus.

If she has a large mirror or full-length mirror, she might stand in front and begin to caress and make out with the person looking back at her. Learn to caress yourself by observing what is happening in the reflected image.

Slowly begin to disrobe and continue with the caresses. Eventually, move to the bed and continue touching and caressing and removing any remaining garments. Perform all that follows on a daily or twice daily basis for several days or weeks until you learn how to build your arousal and what is required to trigger an orgasm. How long it takes depends upon how often you do the exercise and how relaxed and "into it" you let yourself become. Pick times when you will not be disturbed by family or outside noises. Doing the exercise in the morning before getting up, and/or, after going to bed at night are good times.

One place to begin is with the brushing, stroking, or fingering of your hair, then moving on to the nape of the neck, shoulders, face, cheeks, and lips and ear lobes.

Caresses should be both progressive and all inclusive, meaning that as you move from one area to the next, you go back and revisit and restimulate previous places. As you explore, learn what feels good, where, and incorporate these in future sessions.

As you move down from the neck and shoulders, include the upper chest. Leave the breasts and other erogenous zones for later when you become aroused and excited more intensely. Do move down each arm and forearm to the palms and fingers and then back up and then around the sides of the chest to reach the abdomen. Continue to revisit previous areas.

Let your fingers roam and brush over the pubic mons, perhaps briefly fingering the hair and folds of the upper vulva in passing as they continue on down the front and sides of a leg ankles, feet, and toes. Then, retrace and upon reaching the thighs, spend more time lingering in the area. As your level of arousal continues to build, begin exploring your breasts, nipples, and genitals, lingering longer as you become more aroused.

The large lips can be fingered and kneaded and the small lips massaged and tugged upon. Include the clitoris as desired. Learn what finger placements and movements work best to build your arousal.

When nearing the trigger point of an orgasm, many women feel an urge to pee. This is generally a false signal and should be ignored, especially if you know the bladder is empty. Rather than stop or interrupt the proceedings, what needs to be done is to continue the stimulation and push right on through the urge. On the other side is the orgasm.

You know you are getting close when your attention focuses on what your fingers are doing and you loose all sense of what is happening around you or outside. You also know when your body or parts of it tense, when your breathing changes becoming more rapid and/or when you hold it momentarily. You know when you begin to perspire.

You may also find that your finger movements change from a long and slow action to shorter and faster and faster yet. Do not stop.

If your clitoris becomes overly sensitive, cover it with the inner lips and massage it through them. Alternately, stroke and rub the shaft of the clitoris buried beneath the folds of the upper vulva. Repeat everything that works and omit things that do not. Continue with the other hand to caress other parts of your body. An orgasm may or may not occur the first time or two. If so--fantastic; if not, do not let any disappointment take over. This is a learning experience and a process of self discovery. It may take a few days.

THE ORGASM

Women can and often do have different types of orgasms. For right now, concentrate on learning to have a clitorial one. Once you learn what works and what does not and you begin to develop a script, stick with it and modify it mid course based upon the feedback you get. When you learn how to achieve a climax, then keep at it every day or so until you can do it consistently and reliably. Once you can then you can teach your partner to mimic your movements.

It is important to know and understand that we do not give orgasms away to our partner. All any of us can do is to help our partner achieve his/her own. In order to best accomplish this, we need to demonstrate for our partner how we masturbate and then to take his/her hand in ours and guide it several times until they learn to mimic our movements, rhythms, and pressures. Key to all of this is to give each other verbal or non-verbal feedback on how we are responding to their caresses and for what we may need--now. In addition, I believe it is essential and good etiquette for a woman to let her partner know when she has experienced an orgasm. More often than not a woman's orgasms are more internalized and less obvious than her partner's, so instead of having him ask "did you cum?", help the guy out and let him know with a "whew", "wow", or just a squeeze of the hand--whatever the two of you work out.

RESOURCES

INFO 4 Guys--
http://jackinworld.com/howto/ht.html

http://jackinworld.com/expert/index.html

INFO 4 Gals--
http://www.clitical.com/

Check out this site for additional resources.

I hope this will be of help to you and others in your situation.