You need to talk to her to find out what the problem is. Otherwise not much can be said to help. She holds the answer. What has she said when you have approached the subject?

Yeah if you have been going out with her for 4 years then you really should be comfortable enough to discuss anything, tell her you enjoy it and ask why she is seeming reluctant.

Thank you for joining and becoming a member of the SI101 community. There are many knowledgeable people who contribute in an order to try and help people with questions or problems. As noted, above, you really need to ask the one person who does have the answer. The rest of us can only speculate, guess, and, overall not be of much help as you are asking us to be mind readers.

What concerns me is not so much your concern, it is that after four years, you do not seem to have established the ability to talk or discuss matters of importance between you. At nineteen, if you want to go another four years--and beyond, the two of you must be able to bear it all; the good, the bad, the ugly, and to speak up for what you want. Relationships are based on communication and feedback, then negotiating a solution each of you can embrace.

> we've done 69's before and i really enjoy them and she does(or used to).... I just want her to feel as good as possable

There are many many sexual positions to explore and enjoy. I'm curious, how many you have tried? If you have not done so already, please check out the links on the site's Home Page and look at them. They are all animated!

I understand the desire to have your sex life be as good as it can be, and this is a major reason this site exists; yet you make this sound like 69 or one of the variants is the only way. One approach you might take is to try some of these other positions, ask her for her opinion on them, then ask for her opinion of the 69(s) you used, and go from there.

It's true what Doc said, if after 4 years you two can't talk, you need to fix that first. There are so many why's, she doesn't enjoy oral on herself, she doesn't enjoy performing oral, she doesn't enjoy 69 (as in how the bodies are positioned and lack of additional contact). And you say you are 19, in the last 4 years how has your nether region changed? How old is she? Maybe she is willing to give you oral and just doesn't want it herself, I am one of those women.
There are things that at 19 I thought no way, now at 47 it's not all that big of a deal. And there are things at 47 and I blush knowing I've been there and done that. But one thing has always been the same I could and did ask the guy anything, and I hoped he felt the same. Communication is probably one of if not the most important part. I've said there are no stupid questions, the only stupid question is the one you don't ask your partner.

I agree you must be able to talk to one another. My wife nd I used to do 69, but we talked once and we decided it just wasn't for us. The reason is that we enjoying pleasing one another so much tht while in 69 we are concentrating on one another that we forget to enjoy it ourselves. We have found that going down on each other sepertly makes the act much more enjoyable. You both don't have to get oral each time. sometimes you get it and sometimes she gets it. Try centralizing your love making on one of you at a time and you will see that it leads to greater rewards.

Maybe before she was just doing it for you.
I don't really enjoy 69. It feels good on my end... when you can pay attention to that lol. When I am trying to do oral on him... the angle is really bad and I feel like I am bending him in ways he shouldn't be going, LOL.

I'd rather just do one at a time.

"my girlfriend and I" - you put the other person first. That way you sound neither stupid or loutish. You're welcome.

Don't ask us - ASK HER!