I'm in need of help in helping my wife achieve orgasm. We never had a problem with this in the past, but now every since she's reached menopause, she cannot orgasm. She has been to the doctor for this and they checked her hormone levels and said she is very, very low on estrogen and she wears an estrogen patch, but this has not helped. She does not feel the problem is psychological, as we have a very good marriage and a healthy sex life.
What is strange is that when manually stimulating her, I can feel her clitoris slowely swell in size as her excitement grows, and then just when she would normally orgasm, the clitoris immediately goes soft and I can feel it no longer, and she needs to have me immediately stop the manual stimulation. She gets so very, very close to orgasm, yet never totally gets there, and that is what is so confusing.
Does anyone have any information on what might be happening that could cause something like this?
Well, as orgasm approaches, the clitoris does retract under its hood. It does this because of extreme sensitivity at this point of arousal. The need then is for less forceful stimulation instead of more forceful stimulation. There is a hormonal change after menopause and this can create a need for different levels of direct and indirect stimulation.
Use less direct stimulation and focus on a broader area; add stimulation of other areas; let her finish herself while you hold her.