I have been married to my husband for 3 years and up till now we have always had great sex (where it was uncommon for me not to have an orgasm). A couple months ago I started losing my orgasm. At first I just figured their were other things on my mind. Now I am getting worried because I can't figure out what is wrong. My husband is doing everything he should (using his hands, tongue, and member). It starts out where we are having a great time, everything feels amazing and then it feels like I am going to have an orgasm and then it just stops. My husband keeps thinking its his fault but I told him its not. I really don't know what to do.
I had a baby a year ago but I have had orgasms since then so I don't think that could be the issue. Please help!! I really miss not having an orgasm. My husband takes pride in the fact that he can always make me cum. So now he sometimes can't even finish because of me not having an orgasm. So both of our sex lives suck!! Should I contact a doctor? Is their anything I should try doing different??
Wed, 09/05/2007 - 14:07
#1
HELP! I keep losing my orgasm!
Are you taking any meds? What about increased fatigue & stress? Issues in the marriage? These are the first culprits to look at.
This is your problem, not his and he is not responsible for your orgasm; he does not "make you cum." Sera hits the important points. Have an exam, including hormone levels, to rule out anything physical and then figure out what is bugging you. Get some help if needed because the longer these things go on, the harder they are to fix.
In the meantime, try by yourself to see if you can still make it your way.
I'm not on any meds but I have been under some stress lately (trying to sell our home and in-law issues). I'm not so bad with the house now but the in-law issues just resurfaced a few days ago and thats got me kinda crazy. I am not really sure how to not be as stressed with the in-law issues because their is a huge background to it.
Do you think we should really set the mood (more flirting, touching, kissing, massaging, dirty talk) for the next week and see if it improves before I go to the doctor?
Try to put your sex lives back on track, set the mood, do whatever it takes & FORGET THE IN-LAWS for the time. If no better see your Gyn.
Try this: focus your mind upon one thought "This man will please you." Forget about orgasming, forget the in-laws, forget everything but that one point - "This man will please you." Now RELAX, breathe deeply and calmly - let the feelings roll on through you - just enjoy them.
To help achieve the relaxed arousal state - body worship is the best. Both of you can experiment on eachother because, often, doing for your partner increases your own arousal and satisfaction (as you have seen with your husband). Brandye's right in the he is not responsible for your orgasm but nevertheless we all like to please our partners. There's a sticky post on this body worship technique but more complete information can be found at www.wickedwomangroup.us. Have you husband read up on it and then apply it to you.
If you can fix the in-law problem - do so. If you cannot then just let it go especially once the bedroom door has closed. Focus instead on the pleasure that awaits you in your husband's arms.