I have been with my girlfriend now for about a month. I'm 19 and still a virgin, she's 17 but she's not a virgin. Recently we've been carrying out some foreplay on each other, and when she performs fellatio on me I seem to come close to ejaculation but not quite get there. It's becoming increasingly frustrating for me, as I can tell she is becoming disillusioned by the whole experience, as whenever I go down on her i manage to bring her to orgasm often more than once. She says she feels really bad because I hav'nt reached orgasm when she has been going down on me. What should I do? I don't want her to start feeling asif whatever she does to me i dont reach orgasm. We hav'nt had full on intercourse as of yet, so I was wondering if that would do the trick for me, as she can't seem to stimulate me enough to bring me to orgasm. She says she cant understand why, because she has never come accorss someone who does'nt ejaculate when she's perfroming fallatio. Advice needed please!
Fri, 09/15/2006 - 09:27
#1
Help - I can't cum. Need advice
Do you have any problem cumming through masturbation?
> Recently we've been carrying out some foreplay on each other, and when she performs fellatio on me I seem to come close to ejaculation but not quite get there. It's becoming increasingly frustrating for me, as I can tell she is becoming disillusioned by the whole experience,
Hi, this is one of the most discussed topics on the Board. I'm surprised you have not run across one of my posts that addresses the matter. The answer is simple; the fix takes some practice. First some background information.
Each one of us, male and female, is responsible for our own orgasms, we do not give them away to our partner. All any of us can hope to for is to help our partner achieve his or her orgasm. Immediately after a boy learns to masturbate he begins to quickly develop a method to the madness. In other words, each of us soon develops a routine for motion, rhythm, and pressure, that we then pretty much rely upon for the rest of our life. Oh, sure, we may vary the method a bit (http://jackinworld.com/expert/index.html), however, what I refer to as the "Fine Art" of the basic mechanics pretty much stays the same.
Even though she may know the basic mechanics involved it really is the Fine Art of the procedure that must be learned by each partner. The reason is that if we miss the mark so to speak and are off just a little, either an orgasm will not happen, or, it will be less than desired--even when masturbating.
Now then, here is the fix: Combine oral stimulation with stroking particularly during the last stage just prior to reaching the trigger point. Yes, it is often possible to climax from oral stimulation, alone; however, this dynamic duo as I like to term the two is the best way to take us beyond the point of no return!
What often happens with oral stimulation is that our partner builds our excitement to a level even higher than what it takes for an orgasm, yet because the technique of stimulation is incorrect, the orgasm fails to materialize. So, my recommendation is for her to learn how to mimic your method of stroking your penis that is unique to you. This can be done by taking her hand in yours and guiding her movements for a few sessions until she learns to mimic your movements. Part two of this is to give her feedback on how you are responding to her touch and for what you may need--now! You can do this with both verbal and non-verbal cues. Verbal can be in the form of a sigh, "whew", "wow", "WOW", "don't stop", "I like that", etc. Non-verbal cues are some form of body language that the two of you work out to communicate a specific meaning, such as the squeeze of a hand, rubbing a hand on her faster and faster as things intensify, etc.
These techniques benefit her as well with you, so invite her to show you how she masturbates and to guide your movements with her hand.
> she can't seem to stimulate me enough to bring me to orgasm. She says she cant understand why,
It is not necessarily that she cannot stimulate you enough; rather, that she is able to stimulate you even more than enough, just not in the manner you have become accustomed. So, explore and learn from each other.