i am his Goddess. He is younger and perhaps less imaginitive? experienced? confident? than his Goddess. He introduced me to the roleplay thing cause before we got together he fantasized about it.
My problem is that he lacks a little spontinuity. He always needs to be led by me. When we got together he did say he was a submissive, but i do not feel this is any excuse for being lazy and lapping up the pleasure i give to him.
Anyway, i understand that the female anatomy is somewhat more difficult to please. We have spoken about this, we are quite open (apart from the fact that i have come on here for advise LOL). And come to agreement/encouragement that he can/and should explore me as much as he likes. I dont want to lecture him on how i want him to respond to me, i would like to be able to create a situation for him to learn, i am just out of ideas.
We have had the casual open talk about it session. But we like to play games together. He is my dog and i am his Goddess. Last night i walked him downstairs and commanded him to clean my boots. I then asked him...
"How are you going to pleasure your Goddess my wolf?"
as a sort of prompt for action.
He said: "Anything you desire my Goddess"
!!!!! URGH!!!!!!
NOOOOO
I dont want that!!! i dont want words i want actions!!!
but i know that if i was to feed this into our roleplay, he would probably be able to relate it to my issue (which he is aware of) that he doesnt touch me enough and i dont want him to feel inadequate, i just want him to play along.
I had taken my knickers off and i was hoping that when i said "how are you going to please me?" he would take his cue to...you know...just DO something.
Its great having him want to serve my commands, but sometimes i would like a little spontinuity. For him to just think of something he can do in devotion of his Goddess without command.
My legs were WIDE open!!! and hes says "anything you desire my Goddess" i mean DERRRR *rollseyes*
I would be greatful for any advice on how i can bring into our rollplay a situation where he does a little more spontaneous action and a little less "anything you desire my Goddess"...its all down to bleeping ME!
To some that might sound great, but it isnt THAT great, as i say, theres no spontinuity its like he isnt taking part. But i know he is very happy with the situation...VERY indeeed...thats why i feel bad expressing that it isnt as exciting for me.
If this your thing, tell him no more words...just talk and action...ask Evilevil kitten on here..this is her thing she is the Dom and can best give you the info...
[QUOTE=sera300;202475]If this your thing, tell him no more words...just talk and action...ask Evilevil kitten on here..this is her thing she is the Dom and can best give you the info...[/QUOTE]
Cheers sera shall do :)
It is not clear whether this fella is just trying to please to the extent of asking what he can do for you; or, if he simply lacks imagination and assertiveness.
I agree with the above, time for words is over. You might try informing him that you have given him the opportunity, it is up to him to seize it! Actions speak louder than words. See what happens.
If he still cannot move, then the possibility is that he simply is clueless on what to do and how to go about it. If this happens to be the case, about all you can do is put him in touch with the many how to articles listed in the Index at the top of the main screen, and suggest he go to the library and pick up a few sex manuals.
It is not a bad thing to be clueless, it is bad when a person recognizes this condition and fails to rectify it. If he simply cannot get past knowing what you want from him then tell him part of the game is for him to take charge and then change the script as the adventure progresses.
I have replied to her private message.
The main issue is that they have gone too far, too fast; as is often the case with "newbies". You simply cannot take a man from boyfriend to pet in one fell swoop and expect him to retain any initiative. It is too great a leap.
hmmm, yeah, all of you have made really useful and constructive points. I completely agree with you EEK. Too far too fast isnt a good idea. Our situation is a little bit complicated. We had cyber sex for about 5 months playing these roles before meeting. We didnt play the roles when we first moved in together but we did get into the games perhaps too quickly. I had read up on the S&M stuff when he first told me his fantasies, but i realise after looking at that BRILLIANT link you gave me...
http://www.wickedwomangroup.us/
...that there was much more information available, that would have made a BIG difference.
I think that what is important about what both dancingdoc2 and sera300 touched on is communicating with him. I have learnt from these experiences more than ever how important it is to be in a relationship where you can communicate, ESPECially if you are wanting to take part in sexual games because the there is such potential for psychological and/or physical damage...OBviously lol...sorry...as EEK put it, i'm a complETE "newbie" *blushes*
Luckly, me and my partner have a good retort and i have spoken to him a little about it, i do not know what effect this has had yet...anNOYINGLY...guess i need to just be patient and see what happens and try different things out.
hmmm, as far as directing him to some manuals dancingdoc, i would worry too much about him feeling inadequate. But am coming to realise more and more how silly this is, for all he really wants is to please me as much as i please him and would probably rather be told to do that than be clueless and feel inadequate. In a way, i wish i WAS doing something wrong then there would be a reason for me to look at manuals too. I'm not THAT good LOL, i wasnt saying i dont need to, i am quite interested actually, just looking at the site that EEK showed me gave me loads of ideas for stuff i hadnt even imagined and gave me some enlightening insight into how i can keep things more balanced. Its just that i worry my b/f may wonder what i am getting a manual out of the library for if he likes everything i do...then he might think: "shes getting it out cause i dont touch her enough as we spoke about the other day...then he might feel inadequate. *sighs*
Sorry people, i'm just thinking outloud, trying to suss it all out. Mmmm, i dont think i should worry about that stuff, i shall get a manual out simply because I am interested, if he wants to join me in looking then he can :D YAY got it sussed LOL
Thankyou all for your points, feel free to contribute anything else you think might be of use, i am interested in any thoughts on the matter.
Cheers
Love Dune.
Buy the book on the website. It is a manual.
You're welcome!