I'm a guy, 18 and a virgin. I'm embarrassed about this and don't know what to do. There are a few girls who I'm "close" to shall we say. I haven't done anything but something's going to happen and I don't know if I should tell them or not. If I don't tell them and something happens, then they're just going to think I'm a lousy lover or something. What's your advice?
Tue, 10/18/2005 - 19:21
#1
Help with a dilemma
One of the great, wonderful decisions you get to make in life is how much you reveal of yourself to others. I understand this as a general question, not whether or not to reveal this to your partner.
IMHO, exercising caution about how much you reveal in general is not such a bad idea and it does not suggest immaturity or something. I see no need or purpose in announcing your virginal status.
To some (but a lesser) extent, I think the same is true with your selected partner, choose deliberately how much you will tell. But don't forget that sex is sharing. You'll decide how much of your body to share... decide also how much of your feelings you'll share... and remember that your partner will be making those same decisions.
Ideally, you will make the decisions together.
[QUOTE=Quote (SouthSider @ Oct. 18 2005,21:56)]Yeah I know the whole "it's not worth your time if they laugh at you" but still, it would be embarrassing.[/QUOTE]
Hmmm... you asked if you should tell them, and were given good advice. If you are too embarrassed to talk about sex, then you shouldn't be having it.
And I, personally, would be much more embarrassed to be thought incompetent rather than just new to the experience.
Yeah I know the whole "it's not worth your time if they laugh at you" but still, it would be embarrassing.
Well my ex girlfriend was really happy that I chose her as her first so I would tell them, and just as Thetease said, if they call you a loser, they aren't worth losing your virginity to.
Tell them.
If you're close enough to them, they're not going to care. If they make fun of you and call you a loser, they aren't worth your time and shouldn't be someone you should lose your virginity to.
Well, like oberon said, if you're gonna be embarrased by what their reaction may be, then perhaps you're not ready.
I was never embarassed to tell my guy I was a virgin. Seemed odd that there I was, 22, had never been kissed or felt up or done anything, but never embarrased. I was proud I was a rare breed. Everyone else I knew gave it up years ago because it was the "cool" thing to do. Me? It's not like I waited by choice really but I can't say that any guy I had ever met before I would've wanted to lose it to. But my guy now, yea, I knew he was the one I wanted to lose it to and that's why I chose him.