Okay I been on this site a few times only to look, but now I guess I got a reason to be here. Long read warning!

Let me explain. I am an adult virgin in the late 20's. Only for about a year have I started dating. Why? Well that's a life story including lack of confidence for many years due to being a loner, shy, rebellious, awkward type. I also come from a more conservative marriage minded family. So you know sex was all about finding that woman on the street, fall in love, make babies which does not seem to happen in the real world. My notions of love and sex where messed up until this late bloom. Its wasn't bad with women, its was more like bad with everyone except a few people from time to time I could warm up to as friends.

Now I started becoming more confident and social, but I am a REALLY late bloomer and learning is a pain in the ass. I always felt bad that everyone loses their virginity at like 10 - 20 and not me. So enough background story.

I meet this women at the bar and we get along. Even her best friend seemed to at least be okay with me. The first week we call/text a lot and we even bump our date a day early. She really does show a high level of interest in both calls and body language.

That night the band is right (her favorite music), conversation going well. She asks about my previous love life. I hesitate and say "Well, I'm not that experienced." At this point she knows what I meant. We are getting drunk together (me more then her but then again shes driving) and she comes up with the notion to get a motel and have sex because she never been with a virgin. Clearly and drunken eagerly say "Ok, Sure".

So we buy more booze and get a room. We drink more and lye on the bed. Then the sex stuff starts. I got on her and she wants the lights off. This was a problem right there as I really would have wanted to see. I'm not experienced enough to do this by feel so total blindness is a handicap. So I try with some licking and fingering all over here. This had only been five minutes or so tops. I did somehow manage to get her hot. Now she wants me to but it in. Clearly, I am not an erection on cue porn star so guess what, I'm not hard. I really try to force it and that made things worse. Being a first timer, I am not even used to all the smaells and sounds of sex. It doesn't help that I'm drunk and booze is making the blood rush to my head and not down there. A minute later "the gate" is closed and she goes to sleep. Now I feel like crap. I failed and I never was able to sleep then entire night. She did sleep some but I'm sure I kept waking her. I went to the bathroom many times that night. Each time worried something is wrong with me. She even kind of felt bad for me. She has compassion, but the lust is gone I think. She is experienced and shes never seen a man not complete for her.

So we go out the next night just to bar hop. We talk some but not much. Both of us looking around the room more then at each other. Its just awkwardness. We still kiss good night, but it seemed weird. I like being with a woman and I told her I'd still would like her to be my first later. I have a million question. Like how can I fix this? How much later? Should I call here for just another plain date? How can i truly make this up and restart her lost lust? What, if anything, can be done?