Ok, I’m totally clueless as to what to do with this situation, and I need any advice anyone can offer, or maybe some insight into the situation. I have been going out with my girl for almost a year now. She's awesome. Into all kinds of good stuff, decent taste in music, likes to go out and do things, freaking hot, and all that. But, about four months ago she just sort of gave up on sex. We have it like once a month. And she really just doesn’t seem interested in it at all, even when we do have it. When we first started it was awesome. I would toss her about, we had sex all over the house, fun fun. Now all she wants is for me to lay on top of her and do my thing while she masturbates. I have tried talking with her about it a number of times, and every time she accuses me of being obsessed with sex and we wind up fighting. Our sex, when it does happen, is boring as hell now.
(I work at a Stag Shop and have a well stocked toy bin, there is no way in hell sex should be boring)
So, that's problem number one. Number two is she is has become totally un interested in toys as well. That well stocked toy bin hasn’t been used at all (despite a couple of additions) in like two and a half months. She isn’t even interested in clitoral stimulation gel. Says all she wants is me. But... all she wants me to do is lay on her... and she almost ever wants me to do that...
What's going on??!! How can I talk to her about this and actually talk about it??!!
HELP!
Well, first things first, if she won't communicate, then she's not going to be a good partner.
Second, sex is about sharing. You seem like you really want to share in the intimacy. She's being selfish.
Both those things said, you have a couple of options: you can either keep trying with her or you can bow out.
if you decide to keep trying, try joint masturbation-- you use one finger on her while she's using one of hers as well. You both have a hand around your penis. It keeps the intimacy strong. A sexual break also wouldn't be a bad idea-- a kind of make or break deal.
Sorry I don't have more helpful advice. Best of luck.
Sounds like you "wore out your welcome". When me and my gf get to that point then we take a break (we do not see other people so I am not suggesting that one) What we do is go for a while without it. We were there for a while the same as what you are describing. Just me doing everything. I can please my woman with out using toys or anything like that. I can use my tongue or dick and that is all I use because that is all she wants. We have talked about new things. Nothing we talked about she wanted to do. The only thing we have found that works in that situation is to go without sex until neither of us can refuse it any more. Since I can jack off, or sorry, will jack off I can go a while with out it. It is not the same but still. She refuses to masterbate. But anyway when we get to the point where neither of us can refuse each other then that is when it gets really hot in the bedroom. This time it has been right on 8 months since we have seen each other but I am out of town working so When I get back to see her she is taking about a week off work so we can catch up on "old times". It may help or may not. All I know is to try it.
You seem to have tried talking it out and you end up in a ruckus. Either get a referee (therapist?) or lay it out clearly for her. You want sex to be a part of your life; it seems that she does not want it as part of her life. What are her and your alternatives? This issue will not resolve itself and to do other than lay it clearly is postponing the inevitable.