I would have to agree with sera, she put it very well but I am going to put in my two cents.
It is most likely psychological in my opinion. I wouldn't say its mistrust, but as sera also said these things aren't necessarily obvious and may be in "the back of her head". I would say its most likely say that she may feel guilty (or similar) and feel her miscarriages were her fault and therefore may subconsciously "punish" herself by possibly not letting herself orgasm and she may not relies she is doing it. That is a possibility. I would recommend she (and you as it is a distressing thing that happened) see a counsellor or a sex therapist (I say this as well most have psychological (sometimes psychiatry) training and may help with the specific problem at hand.

Thats all I can offer, but it sounds like some of the things I have/am learning on my psychology course. I do hope this helps.

I would say there is a psychological aspect to this; first guess is, some form of mistrust, fear, or unresolved anger--focused at someone (not necessarily you). Many times you think in the back of your mind "if I did this then a miscarriage would not have happened", it does not have to be a realistic just a perceived fear.

Next assumption would be the hormones; that they are within normal limits.

I have to ask if you went through counseling together & also individually? The affects of a miscarriage can be, put lightly, very disturbing to a woman. You hold on to the thought of the child regardless of what is happening in your life, when no longer viable, a term. is very difficult to deal with regardless if it's spontaneous or required intervention. There is always a bit of a fear that it can happen again so you block pleasure whereas you just enjoyed it before. It manifests itself, at times, as not being capable as a woman.

I also go along with the above information.

While the two of you seem to have had an easy time of bringing her to a climax in years past, it is important to understand that for most couples, very few positions place a woman's pieces-parts in continuous ongoing contact with the man's in order to produce the necessary friction to generate a climax. So, what most loving, caring, compassionate, knowledgeable, skilled, lovers do is to reach around and stimulate her clitoris and labia while stroking away.

There is a paper listed in the Index that outlines a plan for helping women orgasm. There are also other papers dealing with the female orgasm process that I wish to recommend as reading material for the two of you.

My first suggestion to try is to wean her off of the vibrator. Vibrators are great used in moderation; however, as a regular requirement, they tend to cause dependency and nimble dexterous fingers no longer become enough. I'd like to see the two of you just play around without trying to achieve an orgasm and use your fingers. It will take some time for her to adjust to the lighter stimulation, yet, given some time and practice, I bet she can. It is certainly worth a try.

Yup yup. I agree with everyone as well...The whole pregnancy issue probably caused some frustration on her part...i.e. She was upset with herself cuz she couldnt keep it out of her pants for however long, and it lead to the death of a child...

Id say the only true option would be to maybe go to some counseling for it and work it out....I mean you shouldnt loose the ability to come from penetration at the snap of the fingers...(maybe if she had a baby the stretching would cause some numbness to the nerves but thats it)

Back when she had her first miscarriage, was she totally looking forward to having that child?

This sounds similar to a situation that I went through. Early on in our relationship, my wife (then girlfriend) became pregnant... proving to me that pulling out isn't a reliable form of birth control, but that's another issue. The thing is that she's always loved children and was ready to have some herself, even though she had just started her first year at college.

After a few months she miscarried; she blamed it on her 'family history of infertility' (how is it that you would even have a family history at all if that was the case), and I blamed it on her anorexia (how can you sustain a second lifeform when you barely nourish yourself?). Whatever the cause, she was fairly traumatized at the loss. Over time she tried to convince herself that her situation in life at the time wasn't right to be having kids... at least to those around her.

Once we started having sex again I could tell that she seemed to act a little detatched, not fully into it. Some time later she admitted to me that she was only having sex for my sake.

So yeah, you may want to look into getting her some counselling. She's probably too weary of enduring another miscarriage.

Specifically she needs to see two medical professionals: a doctor to have her hormones, etc, checked out and a sex therapist.

ANY change in your sexuality needs to be investigated and discussed.

While I am not similarly placed as you two, I have spoken with women who require vibe to clitoris stimulation to have an orgasm. They are not happy about this but are usually at a loss as to how to fix it/deal with it effectively.

I usually counsel people to focus upon the subtleties of sex- adding body worship, exploration of hot buttons, introducing more erotcism, involving the mind, demanding reciprocation from the woman, him introducing more muscle into his program, switching back and forth between penal stimulation of her G-Spot and penal stimulation of her posterior fornix - all at once!

So far this has worked out well, although some couples did need on-the-spot guidance a few times.

One thing YOU two have to change, in addition to the obvious, is she has got to focus more on ACTIVELY pleasing you instead of her being pleased pleases you. It is time for her to do the body worship to you. To find your hot buttons, to become more erotic - time for her to own the process, hun.