I hope this question hasn't already been answered by someone and I missed it.. but here is my situation. My girlfriend and i have been together for awhile and just recently i have started to finger her. She had never been penetrated before. That being said, I am pretty new to the whole thing too.. but I think i have a pretty good idea of what I am doing. Anyway, while in the process, she says it hurts sometimes, and feels good sometimes, but then after, its just really sore.
After reading a lot of the posts here, i still cant find an answer to my problem. Its not a lack of lube problem because she is very wet, and its not a fingernail issue because they are clipped pretty short. Is the problem just due to our inexperience, or is there something I may be doing wrong? :confused:
p.s. I am open to stop putting a finger in altogether and just staying on the outside, I have given her an orgasm like that, but at the same time I am interested in giving her even more pleasure, and on top of that, i want her to be ready for when we have sex somewhere down the road.
you say that she has never been penertrated before this is probably one of the reasons it hurts her, before you finger her do you get her wet? Technique may not be that much of a problem but if she says it hurts communicate with her and ask her what feels nice. Try not going in so deep or being a little less rough?
In my experience, a lot of times when an inexperienced fella says, "Its not a lack of lube problem," it really is. There generally some natural wetness there--that's not the same as "I am so turned on I want to jump your bones" wetness. And that's the kind of wetness you need for penetration. Also, a lot of "new to sex" folks don't seem to understand that you don't have to ram your fingers in there for it to feel good. Play with your technique some. And bullet's right--communicate with her while you're doing it, ask her what feels good and what doesn't...and when specifically it hurts.
You did not look very far. There are at least a dozen threads on this topic.
thanks for the imput guys, we communicate pretty well on the subject, so I think we'll be okay;