The fact that his ex-girlfriend does porn just means that she is good at doing porn, but not necessarily that she is good in bed. They are not the same thing. Porn is all done for the camera, and there is a lot of faking. It is not reality. To be good in bed just means that you do the things that please your partner, and they do the things that please you, whatever those may be.

Just relax, take that chill pill, and don't compare yourself with his ex-girlfriend's imagined performance. It sounds like you are pleasing your boyfriend anyway, since he says you are fine, so you have nothing to worry about. And remember, each time you do it, you will gain a bit more experience yourself. Give yourself the permission to enjoy the experience, you are worrying needlessly.

Well, he isn't pleasing her because she is so nervous that it isn't good for her - so what to do about it.

Chill. Remember that you are you and you have no rivals because they aren't just like you in bed or out of it. Grow a spine here.

Apparently his experience is actually rather limited since he cannot stimulate you enough to get you to enjoy youself and forget about the past which is none of your business anyway. Only the one gf before? That's not experience! Jeez! If you had told us he had 5 or 6 then we can talk experience.

Next item: sex as 'special' what? EVERY time you have sex even if its the third time today should be SPECIAL because SEX IS SPECIAL in and of itself.

Third item: Stop 'past thinking' and stop 'future thinking' but deal with the here and now - you and him now - not next week or last week but now.

Focus upon him and you and now - nothing else matters when it comes to sex between you.

> I cant get over the fact that he is way more experienced then I am. He was my first partner and we have had sex 5 times but I cant get pleasure out of it because I am always so nervous.

Here is a partial quote from a reply I posted a few minutes ago in another thread:

"The first thing both of you should understand is that experience equates to knowledge, not skill. Secondly, with each new pairing, there will be a new "Square One" from which the two of you will begin. Each couple brings a new dynamic to the bed, couch, blanket on the ground, bath, etc. In other words, each of you has likes, dislikes, quirks, and other issues that must be worked through or adjusted to. It therefore really does not make much of a difference whether one or both of you has had any prior experience or not. Because there will be a new Square One for the two of you as there will be for any other new partner each of you may have in the future, you can expect that there will be a period of adjustment where things may not go quite right for awhile. The important thing is not to make a big deal about things when they do not live up to expectations. Making love is serious business, yet you should not take the mechanics too seriously in the beginning.

A relationship is a partnership, so too, is making love. It is not what we do to each other, rather what we do with and for each other. With this in mind, I encourage the two of you to explore, learn, and grow together in your shared experiences."

> he has assured me I am fine... But thats just because he isn't all centered around sex and we only do it when the time seems special.

You are fine in his eyes and from his perception of what is, and in this you should believe and take as Gospel. That you explain away his comment with a "but" demonstrates your lack of self esteem and in your trust in his judgement.

When we fall in love with another person we generally accept them completely and unconditionally, warts and all, including the pieces-parts as yet unseen. I suggest that you believe more in yourself and in his assessment of how the two of you are doing as a couple and not put a negative spin on things. Your self esteem will improve with achieving more confidence in yourself, him, and in your relationship. It will improve further if you agree with his positive comments, smile, and bask in the compliments. No pill required.