ok when i first got together with my boyfriend everything seemed fine, then 3 months down the line i was searching threw my friend chelsea's text messages (i know i'm just really nosey) and found a couple of messages from my boyfriend declaring his love for her, i checked the dates on them and it turned out that it was about a month before we even started to get together so i didnt panic to much, i just asked him about it and he said that he used to have feelings for her but doesnt anymore because she wasn't interested so he moved on and that when we got together. i thought fine it doesn't matter to much i suposse. then about 5 months down the line he came clean and told me that he had been thinking about other girls, this alomost brok our relationship. he felt so bad about it and promised me that i was the only person for him and that he'd never think of anyone elses ever again. i felt a little hessitant and thought we could try it again and just see what happenes. now another 5 months down the line everything seems to have been going very well, i saw him this saturday evening and everything was good. he went home again and about and hour after i rang him for a chat, everything seemed normal and i could here he was at home becase i could here his tv in the backround. about half and hour later my step dad went to the shop and when he came back he told me that he saw my boyfriend with my friend chelsea. i called him and i could here the tv again so i believed him when he said he'd been at home the whole time, and then i rang chelsea to ask her if she had seen my boyfriend today and she sayed she hadn't and that she had been babysitting her brothers and sisters all day. so i kind of thought that my step dad must have mistaken them for somoen else.this whole thing gas kindof got me a bit paranoid though and i was just wondering weather any of you guys think he is cheating or not. all oppinions are welcome
Sun, 06/24/2007 - 11:27
#1
Is he likley to be cheating??
As for the both of them NOT being there..that is possibly a mistake..I wouldn't think he got both of them wrong..but it is possible..
forgive me if I add more doubt..
as for the not thinking about other girls ever again..
that is a lie..
all guys will have thoughts about other women..it doesn't always mean they want someone else..but it's just their curiosity mind set.
But this doesn't have me slightly puzzled I wouldn't worry yourself too much..just if you really feel the need..say something to your boy friend like,
"babe, i'm not trying to be a bother but, I've just been thinking a lot lately and I was wondering if you were sure I'm the girl you want to be with and your thoughts haven't been wondering lately"
hopefully he will tell you the truth
but also just because they were seen there doesn't mean they were up to bad things..but you would assume so if they were lieing..but they could be lieing simply so you wouldn't worry that they are "fooling around" behind your back..
if your too nervous to talk to your guy just as your friend if she's really your friend just tell her to be honest with you.
but like I said possibly not as big an issue as you think it is.<3
First - STOP BEING NOSY. It is a sign you're insecure.
Second - you are NOT married to him and so you have no rights over him
Third - jealousy is for losers and your suspicions will only drive him away
The correct attitude you should have is: "Hun, remember that I will have no trouble forgetting your name nor will I have any problem replacing you should you happen to not be here when I want you."
Then make sure he has so damn much fun and play when he is with you that he doesn't have the energy to look elsewhere and has a hard time remembering his own name.
You have just presented a prime example to support my belief that young people should not enter into an exclusive relationship. You eliminate all the drama, angst, and heartache. Spend the next few years dating lots of people. In so doing you get to sample much of what humanity has to offer so that when the time does come to begin finding Mr. or Ms. Right, you will have a better idea of what you want and what is available. Moreover, while you are dating lots of people, you have the opportunity to go on many more dates and to experience more activities than you might otherwise.
Use this time to learn about people, their likes, dislikes, moral and religious values, quirks, dreams, expectations, plans for the future, etc., et cetera, etc.
Use this time to gather experience with others, maturing, and learning coping skills with regards to interacting with others. Do not stop the dating process with the first warm body who expresses an interest.
You need to see that every guy has the natural tendency to look at othere girls. Its in our human nature to look at attractive women. Don't be so paranoid, the doc is right, as a guy having a girl who is insecure and worrying about cheatng is a complete turnoff. It makes it seem like there's no trust at all and that you're just looking for an excuse to yell at him and the chance for him to mess up. Trust me this will drive any man away