[FONT="Franklin Gothic Medium"][SIZE="2"][COLOR="RoyalBlue"]This is my first post so I hope I get some responses. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 6 months now. The problem is, he does not last as long as I need him too. I don't know what to do about it. I feel bad for him, but I feel like I'm going crazy. I want sex so much, I feel like I'm bothering him. Before we got into this relationship I told him that I love sex and ideally would love to have it 3 times a day at least. Everytime we have sex it feels so good and I'm loving every minute of it, but then he's done. I get angry and upset and end up leaving the room shortly because he falls asleep. I get really turned on by hearing how good it feels to him such as: moans, facial expressions, some talking. He doesn't do any of that. I have told him how I feel about it and he says it feels good but he just doesn't do that. That he is trying to concentrate on making me feel good and if he doesn't then it will feel so good to him that he'll cum. I'm lost on this. I don't feel like he enjoys sex at all most the time. He says he does and by the amount of time we have sex, it seems like he does. Before we were together I would have sex for at least 30 minutes at a time, now it's more like 10 minutes sometimes 15. It doesn't seem:confused like very long at all and I get so close to orgasm but then he's done and I'm left in the dark. Is there something we can do that would prolong his orgasim and maybe stop me from wanting it 24/7? And is there any way that I can get him to moan uncontrolably without him going all the way to orgasim during sex? Please help, I am going crazy!:confused: [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
Wed, 08/08/2007 - 03:24
#1
He gives up too soon - Really really need advice! Please help!
You're still unsatisfied after 10-15 minutes of penetration? Have you tried foreplay? Making out? Anything? Get aroused first instead of going straight to it...
He has to identify he is leaving you hanging...either you tell him again straight up nicely or no sex. Tell him he is leaving you when you are so close. This part (not solutioning it with you) is his problem not yours (I'm assuming you have told him) so he needs to help you get where you need to be...communication is essential.
First you need to tell him you need more time. Second he has to want to fix it. Men either have the endurance to go for the duration which a female needs or if they cannot, they start and stop going back to foreplay or oral then resuming until you can reach orgasm.
We try foreplay and I get really aroused. He gets me right to the point that I feel like I could have a orgasim and then he stops and we have sex. I feel like I'm always on the verge of orgasim but never really get there. I've tried rubbing myself while climaxing. It just still doesn't work. I don't know what to do. I dont' know if it's normal to want sex as much as I do either. Once in NOT even close to enough a day. :(
Have him keep going until you orgasm, then go for intercourse. Try that.
Sera300, I have told him numerous times in fact I have flat out said " I was so close the entire time, if you would have just went longer" and have made it obvious that I'm not ready to stop. He just says I'm sorry. Puts his clothes on or he falls asleep. I think he feels like he just can't please. But then again he knows that sometimes he has made my world spin.. I just don't get it.
I've told him not to stop with the foreplay but he acts like he's getting bored of it and he says his hand hurts. I am so frustrated I could just shoot myself. I heard somewhere that if you masterbate more often, then you will be able to have orgasims faster. But if I masterbate then I don't get even close to orgasiming when I'm with him. Almost feels hopeless.
It sounds as if he is hopeless...puts his clothes on and walks away? A selfish man in bed, not a good lover nor one who is willing to try. Either he shapes up or you ship him out. If you told him and he does not care to help, nothing you can do to fix him.
I'm wondering if it has something to do with me? He knows that I hate doing oral on him and it is his favorite thing of ALL! I would much rather do it for him if he wouldn't ask or talk about it all the time. Plus when we have sex, he does all the work. He says he doesn't like me on top. SO any way we have sex, he's the one doing most the work.
Enough! - girl, you're asking a racehorse to pull a plow! Stop it.
YOU are responsible for your orgasm not him. So stop being a girl who needs a plowhorse to get the job done. 10 to 1, you're not breathing properly, you're tensing up, and you are in fact stopping yourself from having orgasms. Women do that sometimes. Why make him work so hard for one orgasm when in the same amount of time you can have 16, or 23, or 40? Or don't you actually like having orgasms? Work on becoming "easy" in the correct use of the term.
Also seek out an experienced older man who is well -versed in "Edge-play" aka a multi-orgasmic male and get some education. Just last night I enjoyed 5 hours - yes, 5 HOURS with just such a man. Imagine lying on an inflatable raft on the ocean just riding along with an occasional big swell moving you a bit more than others - that's what a 5 hour long orgasm feels like. You elevate to a certain level and then have frequent blasts past Jupiter. It is possible and no, he wasn't working hard at all. Wanting sex 3 times a day is normal btw but I have found that one extended session, as last night's, usually satisfies very, very well.
Stop asking him to change his ways if you are not willing to change yours. Not giving him oral and yet expecting him to not be selfsih? Pray tell, aren't you calling the kettle black here? If you expect to get, you have to be willing to give. Think of this from the man's point of view - he has to work hard for little or no return - it seems impossible to please you - you aren't willing to please him - so why bother?
My advice is to increase your sensitivity, do some work, and stop being selfish yourself.
I have tried several times to give myself an orgasim and it just does not seem to work. When he touches me I'm always on the edge of it. Sometimes when we have sex I feel like the whole time was one big orgasim with several small explosions. I don't not give him oral. He wants oral every time we start getting intimate. I wouldn't mind giving it to him if he would just stop asking for it all the time. I know he wants it so there is no need for him to keep talking about it. It almost turns me off when he talks about it all the time, even when we aren't getting intimate. I love to please him, I just don't want to be pushed to do it and also I feel like that he doesn't spend enough time on me trying to please me so therefore why give him all the pleasure? What I mean is the amount of time I spend on him is 4 times more than he ever spends on me in foreplay. Alot of the time he just wants to go into the bedroom after touching him for about 1 or 2 minutes. When he gets in there before I even get in there, he's already naked with a condom in his hand. I enjoy kissing and taking eachothers clothes off, and he knows this. Yet he still does not do it. I feel like when I talk to him about it most of the time I'm just wasting my breath. Then he gets all upset because I didn't have an orgasm and he feels like he's not good enough. I have told him several times that he's great in bed, that for some reason i'm always just at the edge. I do tense up when we have sex. One reason I know of is b/c I have a son in the other room asleep and I am a very loud person when I'm enjoying sex. Therefore I don't want to wake my son up so I hold my breath and smash my face in whatever is close. I'm just getting frustrated with the whole situation. I love him with every fiber of my being, just don't see why we can't be 50/50 in this. I would be more than willing to give him oral more often if he would stop asking for it 24/7 and would actually spend some time on my body as I do his. I don't know how to get through to him that we need to spend more time rather than just jump into it. He noticed when we did spend more time that I had multiple orgasms. And it wasn't just him doing the work. But after that weekend, it stopped.
Stop tensing, stop yeling at him and take over.
Please see www.wickedwomangroup.us for more information.
Doing what you'll find there will change his entire outlook.
Really!
Or just find yourself another man.
summerbreeze, maybe look at it this way, if you try to make him happy when you're not completely happpy (as with the oral) eventually that will come back at you when you need it and he'll make you completely happy the way you want it... the more you give, the more you will get... basically... so give and give and start with the oral, maybe... also be the first to give, people will usually reciprocate in some way... but don't keep a tally... just try to be more giving... it's good karma.... see, i see it as you're being hard headed about things he likes and he's being hard headed about stufff you like... ;)